Tables and chairs to seat six comfortably, news scripts, headsets optional. All characters are dressed in white robes, tied by a golden cord
A news segment reporting the conditions in God's ultimate city, the New Jeruselem. In spite of other news shows that thrive on tragedy and human sorrow for its audience, in this case, good news makes for a good newscast
Terry Sternson Ken Torrence
Heather Jessup Bill Blass
Fran Spencer Tom Gephart
(On stage is a long table with newsreaders seated behind it. Optionally, other commentators may have their own areas to report from, such as the weather man or the fashion expert. All characters are dressed in white robes, tied by a golden cord. If available some theme music with trumpets could be turned up and then faded out both before and after the segment)
(Lights up to dim on newsreaders and theme music up)
(Lights up full, theme music fade out)
TERRY: Hello, and welcome to another edition of the New Jeruselem News. I'm Terry Sternson bringing you the news from the heart of New Jeruselem. Here are today's headlines:
In our lead story today, there were no murders in the New City since our last broadcast. Citizens of New Jeruselem continue to walk the golden streets without fear of drive-by shootings, knife attacks or brutal beatings.
In fact, the overall crime rate of New Jeruselem, including theft, rape, assault, and all other violent crimes continues to be zero. Combined with its zero pollution, friendly neighborhoods and the Glory of the Lord God Almighty shining on every street corner, the New City once again has been voted "Most Livable City in Existence."
In a related story, we turn now to Ken Torrence for a health update. Ken?
KEN: Terry, as the reports flood in, it is again confirmed that New Jeruselem is free of disease, cancer, AIDS, malnutrition, hunger, thirst, flu, colds, sore throats, minor aches and pains, sunburn or even dandruff. The death rate also continues to be at zero. The Surgeon General of New Jeruselem released in a very cheerful statement, "Business is bad, and I'm goin' fishin'." On a side note, doctors have been turning in a rash of amazing golf scores. Back to you, Terry.
TERRY: Thank you, Ken. And now we look to the political scene, and Tom Gephart files a report.
TOM: Terry, there are no wars or rumors of wars throughout the entirety of God's Kingdom. All peoples, races, and tribes are united under the banner of the Father and the Lamb. Brotherhood and sisterhood are the order of the day, and all voices ring out as the children of God proclaim His sovereignty.
TERRY: Glad to hear that, Tom, very reassuring. From politics we turn to fashion and Fran Spencer. Fran, what does the world of fashion hold for us now?
FRAN: Well, Terry, once again, topping the list of garb to walk the streets of gold is linen robes, dipped and washed in the Blood of the Lamb until it is sparkling white. Unisex motifs accentuate the equality in God's sight, but differences remain subtle enough to allow us to celebrate our own individuality and beauty in the sight of God, whether male and female, tall and short, FRAN (CON'T): skinny and not. Durable to last eternity, they are still a fresh look from those ugly rags of sin we used to wear, which have gone the way of hoop skirts and double knit polyester: as far as the east is from the west--yeah!
TERRY: Thank you Terry, always glad to know I'm still wearing what's on the cutting edge. And now for a look at the weather and Bill Blass. Bill, what's in store for us in the near eternity?
BILL: Just another day in paradise, Terry. There are no fronts moving in, no air flows, no jet streams, no clouds--in fact, no sun or moon at all. We can look forward to a steady, pure shine from the Glory of The Lord God Almighty to light up the skies and brighten the corner of every room.
TERRY: Thanks, Bill. All that light and no sunburn, that's great.
BILL: You betcha!
TERRY: And now we take you to our updated report on the music that sweeps New Jeruselem, and with our Top Tunes Report, here's Art Sweenson
ART: Thank you Terry. We are simply flooded with an outpouring of songs that ring the throne and echo down the golden streets of our fairest of cities.
First come The Living Creatures and their anthem, "Holy, Holy, Holy"; next come that twenty-four voice group, The Elders and their rousing rendition of "Worthy our Lord and God to Receive Glory"; and then that huge mega-group, the Angellic Host, ten thousands times ten thousands strong and their hymn, "Worthy is the Lamb That Was Slain"; but even compared to that, for sheer magnitude, nothing can match the enormity of the gathering of All Living Creatures In Heaven and Earth singing that classic, "Praise To Him Who Sits on the Throne and Unto the Lamb." It gives me goosebumps every time I hear it, and I can't stop singin' it. Back to you, Terry.
TERRY: I love that one, too, Art. And now we close with a special report from Heather Jessup, who's here to tell us that in New Jeruselem, something new is happening all the time. Heather?
HEATHER: Terry, an overabundance of custom-made mansions continues to line up and down the Streets of Gold. Indeed, within the walls of New Jeruselem is a street of dreams the likes of which the Old World rich and famous would shrink back in shame of their own meager digs. Many of the finest mansions are housed by ex- beggars, ex-peasants, and other castaways of the Old Earth. Maria Jarvez, who even during the best of times in her Earthly life, used to live in a moldy pressed paper shack, gives this typical statement: "Do I really get to spend eternity here? I don't believe it!"
When asked for comment about the sterling conditions here in New Jeruselem, His Sovereign Lordship the King of Kings replied heartily, "This is the way that I have always intended for it to be. I've got a place for everyone here, and I simply love all my new neighbors."
Back to you, Terry.
TERRY: Thank you, Heather, for that report. Well, that about wraps up this edition of The New Jeruselem News. We bid you farewell until our next broadcast, and until then, have a nice forever.