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Beautiful
by Brittany Barnes
06/21/09
Not For Sale
Author requests article critique


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What do you consider beautiful? Light skin, green eyes, and long, curly hair. Or dark skin, brown eyes or short hair? Either one is beautiful to me. What I consider beautiful is a nice smile, soft skin, a great sense of humor, a kind, caring, giving, and considerate spirit. A person that cares about the needs of others and takes care of himself and the one he is with. A person that loves life and not afraid to take chances. One that looks at the sunset and admires how beautiful it is. Someone who isn't afraid to cry when the emotions get overwhelming. Someone to watch T.V. and play video games with all day. Someone that reminds you of how much you mean to them even when they piss you off. Things like that can break the ice and bring a smile to your face. Someone that will hold you and talk well into the night. Someone that doesn't give in to temptation that will hurt the relationship, whether it is found out or not. Someone that supports you in the decisions that you make especially when it concerns your choice of trying to get your life right. Someone that wants God in their life and makes it a priority. One that is determined to make his life great spiritually and naturally. Someone that sees beyond the flaws and faults and still loves you unconditionally. Someone that can make you smile when they say your name. Someone that says "I love you" through the good and bad. And someone that kisses you goodnight before the sleepiness over takes you. This what I consider beautiful.

If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be! TRUST JESUS NOW

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Member Comments
Member Date
anewheart Lockhart 23 Jun 2009
Hi daughter, continue to allow your emotions to flow, allow it to be guided from your heart and soul. Once you do so, the Spirit will take over. This is a start and you are doing it in the right venue where you can receive great critiques. I love this sight and have met wonderful pen pals! God bless you in your writing ministry continue to allow yourself to be used by God. I'm tracking your work, you can also do the same with mine. Just click on my name. Oh and read the poem entitled, "The Sweetest Temptation" comment on it.
Don Beers 21 Jun 2009
Some times, before I'll offer a comment or two on an article, I'll take a look at the author's "track record" to see how many other articles they've written or not written, as the case may be. Discovering this is your first article and seeing (based on the content) that you "sound" young, well, it's not easy to offer a critique the likes of some of the one's I've gotten and the one's I've given. With new and aspiring writer's great care must be taken so as not to quench the embers of a dream, but to find ways to "spark up the flame" of a person who wants to warm others by their words. Having said that, read this piece out loud to yourself or to someone you trust to offer an honest evaluation of it and see if it is really saying what you may only think it says. Also, and this is "key" (and very difficult) try "showing" the article rather than telling; this will go a long way in magnifying/enhancing your skills in being able to create the desired image in the minds of your readers. It's hard work, it's discouraging work, but well worth it, if you stay the course. Keep writing, write something EVERY DAY, if you really want to be a writer.




TRUST JESUS TODAY














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