Contestants on the game show, "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" are frequently asked "Is that your final answer?"
Painful events years ago brought me to a place where today I'm more than a millionaire and I've given my final answer. Back then it was the game show of life that was jerking my emotions violently and the resulting anger got directed at God. The sorrow upon sorrow I experienced was so great that I avoided church entirely. It was just easier to stay away than to sit in the pew and weep.
What sort of emotional and spiritual tailspin could cause me to intentionally close my Bible and push it away for weeks, for months even? In a nutshell, three miscarriages within a time span of 15 months, coupled with the God-enabled purchase of a four-bedroom house that fueled my expectation that God was intending to give a little brother or sister to our 5-year old daughter.
So now here I was in a spacious two-story home with no new baby. Was this God's cruel joke on me? "Why doesn't God just slay me?" I remember crying to a friend. "He is," she wisely replied.
Coming to terms with major disappointment in God is a very personal journey, but for me I guess I slowly came to the realization that this world holds nothing for me. Psalm 73:25 asks, "Whom have I in heaven but You? And earth has nothing I desire besides you." There was no other option. There was no plan B. I had been a Christian long enough to know that the Lord Jesus was and is the only and final answer to any crushing human disappointment that I could experience.
Yup. I was between a rock and a hard spot, all right. I was between THE Rock and the hard spot that was me. God had me right where He wanted me and by the grace of God, 17 years later I'm still standing. Not on a hard spot, but on the Rock Lord Jesus. On Christ the solid Rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand.
And yes. That's my final answer.
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