glorybee wrote: the way I understand it, "objective" deals with things that are actually observed (or perhaps heard, felt, etc.), but "subjective" deals more with feelings, emotions, etc.
Yes, that's it in a nut shell. "Objective" (in the haiku context) basically means related to the five senses. Some folks have said that the heart of haiku is showing, not telling. What good practice for writers! Also, avoiding subjective words will mean avoiding many types of adjectives and adverbs. More good practice for writers! The key is to use objective WORDS to create either an insight or a SUBJECTIVE RESPONSE. Beyond that it is hard to say much without going way deep. One website that provides some guidance on this and other haiku issues and that is pretty short is
here.
However, if you read it, you will be introduced to the "haiku should not be limited 5-7-5" thing. Yes, yes, it's true, but I haven't wanted to let myself off that hook yet.
Unfortunately, I don't know of any websites that show draft haiku that use objective words, followed by re-writes using objective words. And it doesn’t help that when you read some of the really great haiku, the masters sometimes break this rule on purpose.
In addition to the example I gave in an earlier post (I changed "joy of mother's heart" to "a new mother's smile" and later "mother smiles"), maybe we can do a few with nature. One of the most famous haiku is :
Old pond...
frog jumps in
water's sound
Here are a few ruined versions EVEN THOUGH THEY MIGHT REPRESENT THE
WRITER'S SUBJECTIVE RESPONSE:
Old pond...
a frog jumps in
delightful sound
OR
Old pond...
a frog jumps in
jarring sound
Or how about this one (a made up one of mine) about a deer emerging from the edge of the woods into a soybean field:
cautious deer peers out
soybeans draw, overcome fear
gun blast echoes loud
I think the subjective IMPACT is OK. Perhaps the reader gets an insight about temptation. Or perhaps a hunter has a subjective reaction. Or perhaps an animal lover or vegetarian has a reaction. BUT there is still a problem with subjective WORDS in the first two lines. How about:
deer at edge of woods
soybeans: one step, stop, two steps
gun blast echos loud
OK, an obvious but tempting one (mine again):
blue sky, yellow sun
eagle soars majestically
thunderhead rolls in
So get rid of majestically:
blue sky, yellow sun
eagle rides Fall thermals
thunderhead rolls in
One last one--another temptation (putting the emotion in the third line):
kittens nurse, then sleep
round bellies, quiet purring
complete contentment
How do you fix it? I don't know. Besides the emotion in the last line, there's also no juxtaposition or "ah-ha" and no season word. Ignoring the fact that I am making this up instead of observing it, maybe:
kittens nurse, then sleep
round bellies, quiet purring
field mouse scurries past
Or (just pretend I was watching kittens all day), to get more seasonal (and changing from kittens to kitten),
kitten nurses, then sleeps
round belly, quiet purring
dragonfly on nose
These examples are not great, but I hope you can see the difference between objective and subjective in a bit of context.