Well done--this uses some of the best techniques of fiction and applies them to nonfiction: imagery, active words, varied sentence structure, and actual people. The only tiny thing I'd change would be making 'hospice' lower case--oh, and starting a sentence with 'Her' with no obvious antecedent is a little bit disorienting, but we quickly learn who 'she' is, so that's more a personal preference on my part than anything 'wrong' on your part.Francie wrote:
I chose 2 Lamentations 3:21-23
Like a crushing tidal wave looming on the horizon, the future seemed overwhelming. Her prognosis had quickly changed from months to weeks. And now, the Hospice nurse solemnly informed it would be only days. With his flight scheduled for a week away, he asked the Lord to keep her alive until he got there. Just one last time he hoped he could see her and talk about Jesus: to tell again of His great faithfulness and unfailing compassion. He wanted to assure his mother of God's great mercy, and that the Lord was waiting for her, with His arms open wide.
Thanks Jan! No hurry