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Southern Porch Extension

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Edy
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby Edy » Wed Jan 15, 2014 4:17 pm

BeachGrandma wrote:...Edy, I love the story of the pitcher and catcher! Don't you know doctors could write the best books about their patients if they knew they wouldn't get sued? I'll bet your brother doctors have a file full of funny stories. Any chance of our going through their files? hehe.... :superhappy


You should hear the stories nurses tell when we get ourselves together! I did once begin writing a murder mystery, basing the central character on a quite peculiar patient I once cared for. I combined her, and other "characters" that had crossed my path, with Minnesota's infamous Congdon murder. My brother Pete gave me the idea when he said, "You know that guy is guilty as sin...." A lightbulb went on in my head. All the circumstantial evidence pointed to her adopted daughter's husband. However, that's just how Agatha Christie set up the reader to distract them from the REAL murderer. (see more at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glensheen_Historic_Estate and scroll down to "History")

But, after writing five pages, I shared my efforts with family. My adolescent nieces loved it. But, my siblings just laughed at the title and I doubt they even made the effort to read it. The title, based on my peculiar patient, was "The Funereal Atmosphere."
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BeachGrandma
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby BeachGrandma » Thu Jan 16, 2014 4:01 am

Edy, between you and Don, I love the things you come up. Here's something I remembered tonight when I posted a picture of Niagara Falls on Facebook. (I wish it was as easy to post pictures on Faith Writers as it is on Facebook. I can handle that easily but Faith Writers' instructions are still all Greek to me.

Anyway, about Niagara Falls.......


Everyone has his own story about Niagara Falls but mine occurred after John and I became engaged. At the Falls, he sent his mother in North Carolina a picture post card saying, "Wish you were here. Love, Mariane and John Holbrook." His mother thought we had eloped (which was what John wanted her to think, the monkey!) and she called my mother in New York state, hysterical and crying,"Oh mercy, what have they done?" He explained to his mother later that he was correct in writing it that way. It was indeed signed by Mariane (and also by John Holbrook). She was anything but amused. :-)


:superhappy :superhappy :superhappy :superhappy :superhappy :superhappy :superhappy :superhappy :superhappy :superhappy :superhappy :superhappy :superhappy :superhappy :superhappy :sorry :sorry :sorry :sorry :sorry :sorry :sorry :sorry :sorry :sorry :sorry :sorry :sorry
Last edited by BeachGrandma on Thu Jan 16, 2014 4:39 am, edited 2 times in total.
"Let us come before him with thanksgiving and extol him with music and song. For the LORD is the great God, the great King above all gods."

SING ALONG:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3dXCL34aEA

Mariane Holbrook

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BeachGrandma
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby BeachGrandma » Thu Jan 16, 2014 4:06 am


BTW, Edy, why not change your title to "FUNEREAL ATMOSPHEREAL"

Well, ok. But it would turn some heads in the browsing section of a bookstore!!!


:rolling :rolling :rolling :rolling :rolling :rolling :rolling :rolling :rolling :rolling :rolling
"Let us come before him with thanksgiving and extol him with music and song. For the LORD is the great God, the great King above all gods."

SING ALONG:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3dXCL34aEA

Mariane Holbrook

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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby BeachGrandma » Thu Jan 16, 2014 5:55 am

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE??

In a cocktail lounge in Norway: LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

At a Budapest zoo: PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.

In a doctor's office in Rome: SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner in Japan: COOLES AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.

In a Nairobi restaurant: CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

On the grounds of a Nairobi private school: NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.

In a Mumbai restaurant: OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.

In a hotel in Japan: YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.

An advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS.

In a laundry in Rome: LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.

In a tourist agency in Czechoslovakia: TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS. WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES.

At an airline ticket office in Copenhagen: WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

A sign in a Japanese cemetery: PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.
"Let us come before him with thanksgiving and extol him with music and song. For the LORD is the great God, the great King above all gods."

SING ALONG:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3dXCL34aEA

Mariane Holbrook

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Verna
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby Verna » Thu Jan 16, 2014 12:02 pm

Hi all!

Mariane, it was hard to pick a favorite, but the one that came closest to being actual was the one about the airline ticket. I hope you're feeling lots better. I've been fighting a cold, but I think I won . . . for now.

Don, I hope you enjoy your new Bible study as much as we are ours--on the book of John, led by a wonderful Bible scholar who is an associate pastor in our church. You can actually listen to them on Talkingnotes.org. Dr. David Ingrassia has audio notes on this one (we've only had two lessons), as well as notes--and also notes on Revelation and many other Bible books. David almost died last fall and was in the hospital for four weeks and out of commission for a number of months. There is a new depth to his teaching as a result of the grace from God he received in his darkest hours.

Edy, you're always a bright spot here. I have read that children whose mother listens to classical music when she is pregnant with them become lovers of classical music. My mother didn't. I'll be happy to share those brownies with Mariane.
Verna

A merry heart doeth good like a medicine...
Proverb 17:22

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http://www.magnificomanuscripts.com/

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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby BeachGrandma » Thu Jan 16, 2014 1:05 pm

Speaking of classical music, Verna, I heard the best music this morning on TV for about an hour.
23-year-old Japanese pianist Nobuyuki Tsujii, blind from birth, won the Van Cliburn competition in Russia (I think). He couldn't read music, of course, since he was blind but he memorized it while listening to it on recordings. When you hear this, you absolutely won't believe that he has never seen a note of music in his whole life. He has a funny movement with his head which made some people think he was either autistic or had Down's Syndrome, or maybe was an idiot savant but his family (including his doctor father) says "absolutely not." He's completely normal physically except for his blindness. He has become a huge hit among the young people of Japan, particularly the girls.

Listen to just a little of it and you'll see what I mean.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4XuEUWQC ... E1cbnHGudX
"Let us come before him with thanksgiving and extol him with music and song. For the LORD is the great God, the great King above all gods."

SING ALONG:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3dXCL34aEA

Mariane Holbrook

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Edy
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby Edy » Thu Jan 16, 2014 3:48 pm

Oh, my, Mariane! He has to be a genius to figure out such complicated music translating only from hearing to playing. What a lot of hours of labor to get it just right! Thank you for sharing the link.

By the way, if you can post a link to a picture, we can go see it, or post it for you.

I love all of everyone else's stories and story snippets posted here, too. I'd love to describe my "peculiar patient," who really should be in a novel, but I probably shouldn't just give it away! Except to tell you, the first time I walked into her hospital room, I thought I'd entered a funeral parlor. :shock: And, it only gets better. :mrgreen:
"Jesus Never Fails!" Love, Edy
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby BeachGrandma » Fri Jan 17, 2014 12:39 pm

Well, Edy, don't leave us on edge, Tell us more, more, MORE!

Between my mother,2 sisters and countless cousins, for 32 years there was always a family member at the same nursing home/assisted living facility in Penna. I always wanted to write a book about the dozens of people who were ummmmm, well, different there, funny, irritating, special, outrageous -- the whole spectrum. But we felt it wouldn't sell because the elderly or their families don't like to be made fun of, even if you try to explain that you're "sharing" and "not making fun of."

But like you, Edy, I had my favorites. One in particular,Sophie, always made me laugh. She could be adorable one minute and absolutely awful the next! I loved her to pieces! I was walking toward Mother's room one day and heard Sophie yelling at a nurse, "If you don't get me to the bathroom RIGHT THIS MINUTE, I'm going out in the hall and pee all up and down the hall! Then when people fall in it and break a hip,IT WILL BE ALL YOUR FAULT !! " The nurse finally helped her to the bathroom but Sophie was still in a bad mood. Her room was almost across from Mother's, so I walked over and said "Sophie, Mother isn't feeling well today. Could you come over and pray for her? Sophie jumped right up and was in Mother's room before I was. She took Mother's hand, and prayed so piously,"Oh dear Lord, dear precious Lord, we pray for our friend, Alma, this wonderful woman who is suffering so. Help her, I pray, and give her freedom from pain...." and on and on Sophie went while Mother and I kept peeking at each other, pressing our hands against our mouth to keep from bursting out laughing. Finally, finally, Sophie finished and so sweetly said, "Oh it's so good to be used of the Lord, to pray for others and to walk in His sweet presence every day." I coughed into my handkerchief to keep from choking to death, while mother pulled her blanket over her head and pretended to be in more pain. Sophie was an absolute darling, talking softly, hugging us and "just being a blessing," as she liked to call it.

So, she went over to her room, and so help me, if she didn't start yelling and screaming at her roommate because the sun was coming in through the blinds and hurting Sophie's eyes. Omigoodness, Mother and I burst out laughing and just let 'er rip. I went back over and got Sophie's roommate, who was cowed by Sophie, so kind and unassuming and loving, and brought her over to pray with Mother just to get her away from Sophie. At noon, we all went to the dining room, where the hostess called on my brother-in-law (who was visiting the nursing home with my sister and me),to ask the blessing before the meal. Just after Andy started praying, Sophie yelled out to no one in particular, "WHO IS THAT MAN? WHY DO THEY HAVE TO CALL ON HIM TO PRAY EVERY SINGLE MEAL? DON'T ANY OTHER MEN HERE KNOW HOW TO PRAY?"
Andy could barely get through his prayer before he sat down and put the big linen napkin across his face so Sophie couldn't see him roaring in laughter.

Tune in. There's more sometime. She never let up.
"Let us come before him with thanksgiving and extol him with music and song. For the LORD is the great God, the great King above all gods."

SING ALONG:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3dXCL34aEA

Mariane Holbrook

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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby Edy » Fri Jan 17, 2014 2:15 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol: Oh, BeachGrandma, you have to write the book...no, make that a screenplay for a sit-com. When I worked at the Augustana Home, with my doctor-brother Joel's office in the medical building across the street from the hospital, which was on the other side of the park---in the park the young sweethearts from the adjacent Christian college took their hand-in-hand walks---I told him we had the perfect setting for a heartwarming/hilarious sit com. Want to collaborate? It is made to order, showing so many facets of life from young to old.

Okay, why did I do a double-take when I walked into "Bella"s room:
The curtains were drawn shut. Her room was banked with "funeral flowers," the sprays of gladiolas, etc., that one only sees at funerals. No lovely little bouquets, here.

And, Bella was "lying in state." Her face covered with chalk-white make up, except for dark circles around her eyes, this skinny lady looked for all the world like someone beyond a corpse. She looked more like a skeleton!

Stay tuned...it gets better yet. :P
"Jesus Never Fails!" Love, Edy
The Gospel is such Good News even Christians don't believe it!
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby BeachGrandma » Fri Jan 17, 2014 5:55 pm

My goodness, Edy, it just gets "curioser and curioser!" I can hardly wait for the next segment.

What was the name of the Christian college you mentioned?

Here's something interesting, fun and quick:

What American accent do you have ?
What part of the country and where in our country is your accent from?
Try this just for fun.

http://www.lewrockwell.com/spl3/america ... -quiz.html

Mine was "Inland North" (I grew up in upstate New York)
Last edited by BeachGrandma on Fri Jan 17, 2014 5:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"Let us come before him with thanksgiving and extol him with music and song. For the LORD is the great God, the great King above all gods."

SING ALONG:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3dXCL34aEA

Mariane Holbrook

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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby RiversidePeace » Fri Jan 17, 2014 5:58 pm

BeachGrandma wrote:WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE??

In a cocktail lounge in Norway: LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

At a Budapest zoo: PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.

In a doctor's office in Rome: SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner in Japan: COOLES AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.

In a Nairobi restaurant: CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

On the grounds of a Nairobi private school: NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.

In a Mumbai restaurant: OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.

In a hotel in Japan: YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.

An advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS.

In a laundry in Rome: LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.

In a tourist agency in Czechoslovakia: TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS. WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES.

At an airline ticket office in Copenhagen: WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

A sign in a Japanese cemetery: PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.



Love them all.

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Edy
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby Edy » Fri Jan 17, 2014 6:57 pm

BeachGrandma wrote:My goodness, Edy, it just gets "curioser and curioser!" I can hardly wait for the next segment.

What was the name of the Christian college you mentioned?

Here's something interesting, fun and quick:

What American accent do you have ?
What part of the country and where in our country is your accent from?
Try this just for fun.

http://www.lewrockwell.com/spl3/america ... -quiz.html

Mine was "Inland North" (I grew up in upstate New York)


I'm 93% "Inland North," too - Great Lakes area. But, when my Army buddy from Tennessee said I talked funny, I reminded him that he didn't sound like any of the national newscasters, but I did, so I was not the one talking funny! :P

Next segment! :mrgreen: When I questioned the head nurse at the nurses' station about the strange doctor's order for her meds, I picked up another "clue" to Bella's eccentric personality. With a curious look on her face, the nurse remarked that I must be new to this patient. When I asked something about all the flowers, I was told, "She sends them to herself."

"How did you find that out?" I was stunned.

"We got a phone call from the florist informing us they couldn't send her any more flowers until she paid the bill already on the books."

And, that's not all.... :lol:

The school you asked about was North Central Bible College (I think it has since been renamed), and I heard it is where Jim and Tammy Baker first met. Who knew! I don't know if they were originally from Minnesota or not, or just came here to this (Assembly of God, I think) school.
"Jesus Never Fails!" Love, Edy
The Gospel is such Good News even Christians don't believe it!
The Power of Story
We are the third temple! Acts 7:48, 1 Peter 2:4-5
Essentially Lutheran
My StoriesMy Blog:The Prairie Nightingale

ready2go
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby ready2go » Fri Jan 17, 2014 8:09 pm

I just took the accent test, and mine is 100% Midland.

After four years living in southern Ohio, I returned to South Dakota when I was 10 years old. I recall being teased by the SD people about my strange foreign accent. :lol:

Don
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby RedBaron » Sat Jan 18, 2014 12:43 am

What American accent do you have ?
What part of the country and where in our country is your accent from?
Try this just for fun.

http://www.lewrockwell.com/spl3/america ... -quiz.html


Frank (from Memphis, TN, spent time in TX and OK) and I (Ohio, born and raised) almost got into a fight over No. 10 lol. I asked him for one and got the other, even though I say them differently, he hears/says them both the same.

10. Now for "pen" and "pin." Don't worry about what others say is correct, just tell us how they come out in an ordinary conversation.


I got:
Your Result: The West 96%

Your accent is the lowest common denominator of American speech. Unless you're a SoCal surfer, no one thinks you have an accent. And really, you may not even be from the West at all, you could easily be from Florida or one of those big Southern cities like Dallas or Atlanta.

The Midland 95%
Boston 75%
North Central 73%
The Inland North 27%
Philadelphia 27%
The South 27%
The Northeast 21%
<><
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BeachGrandma
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby BeachGrandma » Sat Jan 18, 2014 10:53 am

I took this test today: http://www.gotoquiz.com/politics/politi ... -quiz.html


and my result was that I'm 'conservative authoritarian' Yikes! That sounds harsh, doesn't it?
:fingerwag :fingerwag
"Let us come before him with thanksgiving and extol him with music and song. For the LORD is the great God, the great King above all gods."

SING ALONG:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3dXCL34aEA

Mariane Holbrook

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