Nah, don't worry--she hasn't died. She just...ceased to exist, since she never really existed in the first place. She was me, but since I've retired her, I thought I'd explain her existence, to anyone who might be curious.
When I took leave of FaithWriters quite a while ago, it was at a particularly dark point in my life. I was burned out from my work here and elsewhere--there was a series of family crises--I was at the low point of intermittent depression that has been my constant companion for most of my adult life. Something had to go, and I had a pretty loose grip on FaithWriters. It was easy to drop it.
However, I missed it pretty quickly. Part of my depression was crippling self-doubt, and while I missed writing, I also wondered if I could even write any more. I had a blog that no one was reading, and I didn't really have another forum to try out different kinds of writing. That's when it occurred to me to come back to FW, but without any pressure. Hence--Addie.
Her name was based on my granddaughter's middle name (Addison). "Pleasance" was because I wanted something...well, pleasant.
My idea was to see what kinds of reactions my writing would get when no one knew it was me. Of course the judging is anonymous, and from personal experience I know that the judges are scrupulous about that anonymity. But I thought that if it was known that Jan was back, there might be a subconscious "this might be Jan's; I recognize the style," and I didn't want even that--I wanted to be evaluated as 'purely' as possible. And as Addie, I chose not to 'hint' for the same reason--I wanted to read comments utterly uninfluenced by any knowledge of my identity.
I kept Addie off the forums because I didn't want to ever have to lie or deceive anybody about my identity. I already had relationships with many of you as myself, and I wasn't interested in creating a new person, with new relationships. I kept Addie's profile as bare as possible, but everything in it was true--about ME. After a while, I told Deb Porter, and Mike and Bea knew, but I liked keeping Addie my own little secret.
Interestingly, while Addie's writing was well-received, I've pretty much dropped writing from my life right now. I feel more secure when I'm editing, and that seems like what I should be doing for now.
For those of you who speculated about Addie's identity, I'm sorry that I made you guess. I was kind of amused at the speculation I saw (and surprised that no one made the connection. Jan's not here, Addie is, and they write the same sorts of things...hmmm...). But I just really didn't want to engage anyone in conversation, so I let it be.
To update the other issues--I'm happy to be back at FaithWriters, doing some writing lessons and occasional comments on Writing Challenge entries. I've missed you all. The family issues continue, but happily, I've added a second granddaughter. Depression will always be with me, but right now I'm doing well.
I plan to post a new writing lesson tomorrow morning, and probably to do one every week for a while. Hope to see a lot of you in that forum!