It probably does not help in our modern culture that we have turned the wedding ceremony into something of an extravaganza. A man that I've worked with for most of the last thirty years recently remarried after the death of his wife a few years ago. A couple of weeks before the wedding, I asked him if they were going with a simple ceremony. He said, "That was the original plan. Forty thousand dollars later..."
It's not just the money. It's everything that couples are being told they just "have to" do for their wedding takes a lot of time to put together, and that additional wait time is just all the more opportunities for the temptations to get overwhelming. It only takes succumbing to the temptation one time to bring in two additional factors - once we've experienced it, the desire intensifies, and we already know "that ship has sailed." It can seem kind of pointless to go back to waiting on the wedding night, if you've already given in once.
I wonder, too, if those of us who are mature can coherently articulate practical, common-sense reasons for waiting, other than just the old argument that sex outside of marriage is wrong. We're swimming against a tide of cultural influence that says it's no big deal, and the perception that the church picks and chooses which areas of Biblical Morality to take seriously, and which to disregard under the concept of being under Grace instead of under Law.
Lovemaking helps us bond. In a new relationship, the frequency of lovemaking can be such that it's very easy to overlook other problems in the relationship, and therein is one of the dangers of skipping ahead to the bedroom too quickly. Once that novelty wears off, and the frequency of passion decreases, we can find ourselves with someone that might be great in the bedroom, but that we discover we really don't get along with very well anywhere else. In a truly good relationship, lovemaking is a wonderful part of the marriage, but as too many couples have learned the difficult way, it doesn't work very well to shore up a mediocre at best relationship. If we take the time to develop the friendship in a relationship before incorporating the "lovers" part, we have a better chance of discovering whether or not we CAN be good friends when we're not being lovers.
There's a quote attributed to Robin Williams that goes something like, "God gave men both a brain and a penis, but only enough blood to run one at a time." I don't say that to be crude, but because there's a reasonable amount of truth in that joke. Men tend to be worse about it, but both genders have a problem of being able to think clearly and rationally when we're letting our genitals take the lead. The desire - the need - we feel makes it very easy to justify almost anything.
If this subject is uncomfortable for us to discuss here, among other Christians, how do we expect to be able to discuss it with a world that needs to know there is a better way than to just jump in the sack with someone because it feels good at the moment?
If we can't discuss it in our writing, how will we discuss it in person? As has been said before in this topic, if we're not ready and willing to offer a Christian perspective on it, we can only stand back helplessly while the world offers their perspective without rebuttal.