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Southern Porch Extension

A place for general chat (non-writing related). Please keep political discussions to the relevant neighborhood forum.

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Edy
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby Edy » Tue May 07, 2013 4:36 pm

BeachGrandma, you are one hilarious hoot! :lol:
"Jesus Never Fails!" Love, Edy
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BeachGrandma
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby BeachGrandma » Tue May 07, 2013 4:53 pm

Ya think?? :superhappy :superhappy :superhappy :superhappy :superhappy :helpwobble :helpwobble :helpwobble :helpwobble :helpwobble :helpwobble :helpwobble
(singing):
"Cover me, Lord, with Your presence,
Cover me, Lord, with Your righteousness,
Cover me, Lord, with Your holiness,
Lord Jesus, cover me."

[b]
Mariane Holbrook

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BeachGrandma
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby BeachGrandma » Tue May 07, 2013 4:55 pm

Dub, what storm? It's sunny, warm and bikini weather here at the beach. (like I'd know!) I don't think you read your weather report right! :book2 :book2 :book2 :book2
(singing):
"Cover me, Lord, with Your presence,
Cover me, Lord, with Your righteousness,
Cover me, Lord, with Your holiness,
Lord Jesus, cover me."

[b]
Mariane Holbrook

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Carole L
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby Carole L » Tue May 07, 2013 6:21 pm

Some of these have been around several times, but they are still funny.

Church Ladies With computers!
They're Back!
Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with computers.
These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:
------------------------

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
------------------------

The sermon this morning: Jesus Walks on the Water. The sermon tonight: Searching for Jesus.
------------------------

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
------------------------

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
------------------------

Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
------------------------

Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
------------------------

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
------------------------

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
------------------------

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
------------------------

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM . All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
------------------------

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
------------------------

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM.
Please use the back door.
------------------------

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
------------------------

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.
Please use the large double doors at the side entrance.
------------------------

The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."
Carole

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Green Leaves
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby Green Leaves » Tue May 07, 2013 10:58 pm

I am crawling to get to my IPad....

That extra weight from my birthday gifts is a killer...

And I can't get far from the bathroom either....

Some people (we won't mention names) have "killer" instincts when it comes to birthday gifts. :lol:


And add laughing at the bloopers, I am miserable!




Seriously..

Thank you for the birthday wishes. This was a particularly hard one since I guess I now am officially old now qualifying for Medicare at 65. It's sooo painful. :shock:
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Edy
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby Edy » Wed May 08, 2013 12:25 am

Don't feel bad, Carol! 65 is the new 45 - so you're still younger than springtime!

And, think of all the advantages, all the history we don't have to study since we lived through it! Besides that, we're all going in the same direction; nobody has met someone on the journey of life that is getting younger by retracing their steps. As Red Green says, "We're all in this together!" :roll: :cry: 8)
"Jesus Never Fails!" Love, Edy
The Gospel is such Good News even Christians don't believe it!
The Power of Story
We are the third temple! Acts 7:48, 1 Peter 2:4-5
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dub
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby dub » Wed May 08, 2013 8:36 am

What a beautiful day the Lord Hath Made in East Carolina ... Y'all have a wonderful day.
"Here I am Lord, send me."

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Allison
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby Allison » Wed May 08, 2013 9:46 am

I have news! :) viewtopic.php?f=4&t=36982 (I figured everyone would want to see this, so I just made a new thread, rather than posting in multiple places.)
Image
Isaiah 40:30-31 (NIV)

ready2go
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby ready2go » Wed May 08, 2013 10:09 am

Allison wrote:I have news! :) viewtopic.php?f=4&t=36982 (I figured everyone would want to see this, so I just made a new thread, rather than posting in multiple places.)


Allison wrote:Today, I am 12 weeks post op. That means NO MORE DOCTOR IMPOSED RESTRICTIONS!!! I can bend over (as far as I can)! I can cross by legs! I can go past "midline" with my left leg!! I don't have to think about how to do something as simple as sitting down or standing up. I can actually do it naturally without worrying about bending too far!! I can sit up in a chair without feeling like I have to slouch so I'm not bending too far! And lean over my plate when I eat (is that TMI? ) I even picked up something from the floor without using my grabber!! And got dressed, except for my left sock, without my grabber!!

Yes. I'm still a bit easily excited these days... :)


Today is the 15th day following my daughter's hip replacement surgery. She claims all is going very well, but still has some pain - especially aching at night.

She did get a "hip kit" as you had suggested. She thanks you for your helpful advice and survival tips.

Don
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby ready2go » Wed May 08, 2013 12:05 pm

Is anyone feeling older than dirt today? If so, this might explain why. You better be sitting down before you do this!

http://www.korn19.ch/coding/days.php

Don
John 14:6
Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me."

"My Journey To Jesus"
http://faithwriters.com/article-details.php?id=41225

http://faithwriters.com/member-profile.php?id=18654

"The Israel Connection"
http://theisraelconnection.blogspot.com/

"I have a story to tell...the saving gospel to share...and the fire of the Holy Spirit burning deep within my soul."

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dub
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby dub » Thu May 09, 2013 6:47 am

Toasty warm and beautiful Carolina morning. Great day to Praise the Lord.

Top down and shorts day.
"Here I am Lord, send me."

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Verna
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby Verna » Thu May 09, 2013 11:13 am

Greetings all!
When you see how many days old you are, you really think about how OLD you are. Thanks a lot, Don!
I had wondered on what day I was born--and my husband and I were both born on Thursday, but his was three months of Thursdays before me!

So glad you're doing well, Allison, and wishing Don's daughter a steady improvement!

Made me smile, Carole.

You can send me some of that chocolate, Mariane!

Thankful for a lovely Carolina day! Hope you're all enjoying your day wherever you are.

Looks like I forgot to hit "color" smile!
Verna

A merry heart doeth good like a medicine...
Proverb 17:22

Facebook author page: Verna Cole Mitchell
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dub
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby dub » Thu May 09, 2013 11:27 am

VERNA we have Carolina blue skies and 83F ... here on the coast, hope y'all in the Piedmont and Highlands are doing as well.
"Here I am Lord, send me."

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Verna
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby Verna » Thu May 09, 2013 1:12 pm

Dub, currently it's 78--supposed to get to 81--from 58 this morning--just perfect!
Verna

A merry heart doeth good like a medicine...
Proverb 17:22

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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby ready2go » Thu May 09, 2013 4:08 pm

Verna wrote:
and wishing Don's daughter a steady improvement!



She just found out about a glitch that occurred during her hip replacement surgery. Apparently, her femur bone (upper leg bone) cracked while installing the new hip. They needed to wrap the bone with a cable to stabilize it while the bone healing takes place.

She was told it happens in about 10% of hip replacement surgeries, and should not be a problem.

Don
John 14:6
Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me."

"My Journey To Jesus"
http://faithwriters.com/article-details.php?id=41225

http://faithwriters.com/member-profile.php?id=18654

"The Israel Connection"
http://theisraelconnection.blogspot.com/

"I have a story to tell...the saving gospel to share...and the fire of the Holy Spirit burning deep within my soul."

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