My heart hurts for you. I was never even what one could call a chubby kid, but I remember vividly my bus driver telling me that my sister would be the tall, thin beautiful one and I would be the short, chubby, dumpy one. I have no idea why someone would say that to a 12 yo.
It was the beginning of a lifetime battle with eating disorders. Even when I had my kids I never weighed more than 135, but then suddenly when I became chronically ill and on medications and became inactive my weight doubled from the too-thin 110 to over 240.
In order to lose weight, I actually had to cut out all carbs except for natural ones like fruit, then forced myself to eat at least 500 calories a day, but I tried to get closer to 800 to 1,000. Because I literally will go days without eating, (I used to get all my calories from soda and flavored milk and juices) it was hard to get to a decent caloric intake. I lost 65 pounds in three months.
Then I slipped back to eating carbs (rice cakes with honey and yogurt was my main food) so my body went into starvation mode and stored it as fat and I gained about 25 pounds back of the 65 I had lost.
So now, I'm back to no longer eating rice cakes, trying to exercise and I need to eat a balanced diet again. It's tough so I really respect you. Of course I want you to be healthy, but in my humble opinion, I think your profile picture is absolutely beautiful.