Southern Porch Extension

[Laurie]

Don, I was afraid Carol may not be able to come home even with 24 hour nursing care. I realize it's early to say for sure one way or the other, but in her current condition, it's clear that she needs to be right where she is. I'm crying as I type this because I can't imagine how hard this must be for you watching her decline like this and knowing she won't be with you for much longer.

When we found out my dad's cancer had spread to the brain, he was confused off and on, but we felt satisfied that he understood the decision he was making - to stay in a nursing home an hour away from home so he could be in the same town where he could have radiation treatments. He was not only too weak to come home, but was also too weak to manage the trip. My mom stayed with him at the hospital, but got the stomach flu in the night and had to leave. So I helped with his nursing home admission. The admission went well, and he seemed to understand what he was doing. But that evening, it was, "I'm tempted to go home," "I don't know how I'm going to get home," "When you leave, are you going to my place or to yours?" "I don't care about the treatments. I just want to go home." The only breaks from those comments were when he asked (repeatedly because he would forget), "Where's your ma?" One of his greatest fears was to end up in a nursing home, but he made the decision, and he just simply needed to be there. My mom couldn't take care of him at home anymore, and it wasn't safe for either of them. Anyway, leaving him at the nursing home that first night was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Ultimately, of course, he never got home. He got to the point that he couldn't eat and then it was just a matter of days. I was so saddened that we didn't get to bring him home because I know he really wanted to be there. And yet he was right where he was supposed to be, and we have no regrets.

Joanney, what a trying time wondering how you're going to feel and when your surgery is going to be. I wondered if there was some kind of financial assistance you could get. I figured there must be since we have such options even here in Mayberry.

Allison, I'm glad it went well getting the staples out. I've had three surgeries, and each time it hurt like the dickens to get the stitches out.

Welcome, pacwriter. Why don't you tell us more about yourself and how you found FaithWriters.

[Verna]

Message from Mariane!
Her computer is in the shop for a complete overhaul, and she hopes to get it back tomorrow. She has been without her addresses and passwords and has wanted so much to write to Don and to see how Carol is doing. She is praying for them--and so am I. She got a shot for arthritis in her right hand, and I'm praying that will ease her pain. She is so very dear!

Allison, I hope it didn't hurt to get the staples out. You're now officially our "stapleless girl"!

Glad for sunshine today--hope there's some at your houses!

[Allison]

Actually, getting the staples out didn't really hurt much at all! Just a few pinches was all it was.

[Verna]

There is chocolate cake on the porch--for anyone who wanders in and wants to celebrate Barb's birthday today. Happy Birthday, dear Barb! May this year hold many rich blessings for you!

[Edy]

Miss Barbie!

And, thank you, Verna, for the lovely invitation-reminder. I put a container of Blue Bunny Bordeaux Cherry Chocolate ice cream in the freezer, just inside the kitchen door, to go with the cake. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! Enjoy the party, all!

[Ms. Barbie]

Oh thank you for the cake and ice cream and blessing! Much appreciated.

[Joanney]

I received an email from Don (in response to one I sent to him) this morning saying he "was just advised by phone that Carol has taken a turn for the worse, and might not be with us much longer. Sad news to hear." I noticed when I got home this afternoon that he hasn't been on the porch, so I assume he is at the hospital.

[Edy]

Thanks for checking, Joanney, and letting us know.

[BeachGrandma]

My, oh my, what a time to be without a good computer! All my passwords were stored in the computer which was in the shop all week. I know I should have made a hard copy to have.

I've been trying to use my grandson's computer but it's worse than mine is. When I used my regular password to get into Faithwriters, it wouldn't accept it. I've used it for years and couldn't even get into FW to talk to the owners. My computer came back last night but still isn't working, so Tim returned it to the shop. Today it still doesn't work, has all kinds of blocks on it and freezes all the time. I'm on it now but it will have to go back to the shop tomorrow.

My heart is aching for Don and Carol. Her quality of life has been so poor the last few years since we've known her and Don is so worn out I wonder how he's kept going, except for the grace of God. I hope their son and daughter are still there.

Joanney, you are on my mind all the time, too, and I know every hospital has a financial assistance program to help those in need. When my uncle was a heart surgeon in NC and chief of staff at the hospital before he died, he told me about the assistance program and said one hospital in North Carolina has $50 million set aside to help those who can't pay. They don't advertise it, of course, but every hospital has this fund. Don't be afraid to actively pursue it.
Is that latest hemoglobin number the lowest it's ever been or did you get a transfusion to bring it up to that point. Mine was at 12 and I'm taking a liquid to get it up to 20.

I'll be back. I need to help Jackson with his homework. His mother was remarried last week, did I tell you?

Love you all.

[Laurie]

Joanney, thanks for letting us know. I've been checking FW often throughout the day to see if there's any news on Carol.

Don, when you get the chance to check in I hope you'll feel the love from us on the porch and especially feel the love of God on you. What a heartbreaking time for you, dear friend. Hugs.

Mariane, sorry to hear about that aggravating computer. My goodness, what a fiasco. How are you feeling since your surgery? Eating any better?

Joanney, how are you feeling?

Allison, how are you doing? Sleeping any better?

[Joanney]

Mariane, they let me go from the hospital when it got up to 8. The lowest I tested was 5.8 and the test that put me there was 6.4. The doctor said it had to be at least 10 to operate, otherwise, he was ready to do so Monday night.

I am a little frustrated with Paul. I asked him via voicemail and text to pick up Greg from school Monday night, giving the reason that I was in the hospital. He dropped Greg off at home and texted me to complain that I spent money on a very nice car (2002 Mercury Sable). Then it occurred to him on TUESDAY night that perhaps since I was in the hospital, maybe he should have taken the boys to his house for the night rather than leaving them home alone Monday night. I had assumed since the reason he was picking up Greg was given in the text asking him to do so, that the parent in him would have thought to take them for the night and had expressed to a friend the concern that he wouldn't let them visit me. They had an offer via Facebook to spend the night with a family from church who live in a town 20 miles away, but not from their own father. Yet he thinks that he should have custody?

Mariane, I am sorry to hear that the boys' mother got remarried last week. I know that it was really hard on my boys when their dad got remarried.

[ready2go]

I just wanted to let you know that Carol was called Home to be with her Savior and Lord about 3:00pm this afternoon. It was a difficult 8 days for her in the hospital ICU, but now she is at peace and rest.

When we lose someone we love dearly, it can feel as if our heart and soul has been ripped apart and shredded, then, blown away like confetti in a wind storm. For me, that is especially true when the loved one was my best friend who stood beside me for almost 50 years through good times and bad, through thick and thin, through sickness and health, and through times of sadness and joy.

But wait! Carol is not lost! Oh...I cannot touch her...I cannot see her smiling face...and I cannot hear her voice. I know exactly where she is. She is safe in the arms of Jesus!

There she will suffer no more pain. Heart disease, diabetes, and all the other related ailments will be things of the past and remembered no more. There will be no more hospitals, walkers, and wheel chairs, either. The sick will be healed, the lame will leap for joy, the blind will see, and the trials of this world will be gone forever.

It was Carol’s appointed time to leave us for a little while. God had called her name. As a born-again believer she went on down the path ahead of us to meet her Savior and Lord. She was not only ready, but was anxious to meet Him. That is a journey we all must take one day. Are you ready to do that? Do you know Him? You must be very sure.

I know that I am ready...and soon I will see her again!

Don

[Allison]

Oh, Don. I'm so sorry for your loss. But know you did ALL YOU COULD for her here on earth.

Sleeping has been a little bit better. I"m still waking up every 1 1/2 to 2 hours, getting up to use the restroom, mostly becuase I just need to move around a bit! lol But the good thing is the past couple of nights, I've at least been able to fall asleep again fairly easily, so I've been getting 1 1/2 to 2 hour blocks of sleep, rather than 2 hours and then fragmented after that. So... it's getting better.

[Edy]

Dear Don - I can weep with you as you experience the empty arms and empty rooms at home. Like others in my family, I have never liked good-byes, even temporary earthly ones. So, such times - even anticipating such moments - moves me to more than tears. I do know how what you are going through is like having your heart pulled out through a shredder.

If you are one to cry, don't hold it in. Tears bring healing, cleansing our system as nothing else can, both emotionally and physically. But, don't be alarmed if you cannot cry. Somewhere I read that when we have done everything we can for the one who has departed, we have nothing to regret. The real sorrow is reserved for those with a lot of regrets they can never correct.

It's peculiar how our tears can be mixed with joy, but that is the experience we have, resting assured that the Lord who died to open the Door beyond the grave is welcoming our loved ones into His presence, face to face. What a day that will be, when God's banquet table is ready for us all! And so, we comfort one another with God's Word, and praying you will feel His arms around you in a special way in the days ahead.

[Laurie]

Hugs to you, Don. What an incredibly difficult day for you. What a comfort that your separation from Carol is temporary, but I realize you still have difficult days of mourning ahead of you.