My heart aches for your pain Richard but I am also so impressed with your courage to reach out and help other people. My brother has a similar diagnosis and I know many people can react to him much like people treated lepers in the Bible times. We've come a long way in helping the public understand mental disorders but we still have a long way to go.
I had a horrible year in 97. I was given an anti-depressant to help with my chronic pain. About 6 weeks later, I became obsessed with killing or hurting myself. I was admitted to the hospital to many times to count and was told that I shouldn't have survived many of my attempts. God had other plans for me and I'm so thankful I didn't succeed.
About 4 weeks after deciding to stop all meds, the suicidal ideations disappeared. No one believed me it was thew medicine back then even though it takes 4 to 6 weeks to build up and that long to get out of your system. Now though, it is a known side-effect. God used my what I lovingly call crazy year to minister to others and to bring glory to his name.
I'll be wishing you luck as you write this down to share with the world as well as include you in my prayers.