To view this notification widget you need to have JavaScript enabled. This notification widget was easily created with NotifySnack.
Home Tour About What's New Help Forums Join Login
My Account
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
I Need
A
Savior
  

The HOME for Christian writers!
The Home for Christian Writers!

Forums




Enter the Weekly Writing Challenge HERE.
Enter our New Monthly Blog Contest HERE.



Shop & Save to SUPPORT FaithWriters.
Upgrade to SUPPORT FaithWriters.

Lighten up-funny emails, jokes and stories

A place for general chat (non-writing related). Please keep political discussions to the relevant neighborhood forum.

Moderators: RedBaron, cori67, Shann, eaglelion

User avatar
beaedwards
Site Admin
Site Admin
 
Posts: 349
Joined: Thu Mar 08, 2012 12:46 pm

Lighten up-funny emails, jokes and stories

Postby beaedwards » Sat Jan 19, 2013 4:10 pm

OK just had to share this as it had me crying I was laughing sooooo hard and I wanted to share :lol: the wealth.
Love (and laughter),
Bea


When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30-year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures and communicates with Facebook and Twitter. I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, 13 grand kids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.

That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twittererific Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that sends every message to my cell phone and every other program within the texting World.

My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.

The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.

I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-u-lating." You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then if I made a right turn instead. Well, it was not a good relationship... When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.

To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven't figured out how I can lose three phones all at once and have to run around digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.

The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them with me.

Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or Plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual." Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look. I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, No, but I do fart a lot."

P.S. I know some of you are not over 50. I sent it to you to allow you to forward it to those who are.
We senior citizens don't need anymore gadgets. The TV remote and the garage door remote are about all we can handle.

User avatar
deejay
Pencil Plus (Over 500 Posts)
Pencil Plus (Over 500 Posts)
 
Posts: 5043
Joined: Mon Jun 05, 2006 8:16 am
Location: SoCal

Re: Lighten up-funny emails, jokes and stories

Postby deejay » Sat Jan 19, 2013 4:55 pm

I'm a member of the older crowd, and manage fine with a basic cellphone, but prefer to use a good old-fashioned paper map when I need to go somewhere I haven't been to in a long time or ever. I deal gracefully with the paper or plastic question, though most stores I shop in give you plastic. Only at Trader Joe's do I get an option--paper, plastic or none. I f I carry my items from there in my hand or in my backpack, I get to fill out a ticket for a chance to win a gift card from Trader Joe's. Haven't won yet, but it sure would be easier if I could remember my phone number, LOL!

I'm fortunate that nobody tries to buy me electronic gewgaws--I make the decisions on what to buy myself.

User avatar
Sparrow
Moderator
Moderator
 
Posts: 13478
Joined: Fri Nov 11, 2005 11:00 am
Location: Washington State

Re: Lighten up-funny emails, jokes and stories

Postby Sparrow » Tue Jan 22, 2013 4:12 am

Every once in a while we bring my grandparents one of our old computers and set them up with email. My grandma will use it for a while to talk to her sisters and then will get frustrated and make us come get it again. But they did keep the cell phone and Nook that we gave, though I have to help a lot with questions like, "I charged it, but it won't turn on." "Did you try the power button?" "I didn't know it had a power button..."
Amy Michelle Wiley
NEW RELEASE! Bring Your Writing to Life: a writer's guide to "show; don't tell" Buy it here.
My Website, Sparrow's Flight
Director of Peculiar People fiction collaborations
Assistant Coordinator for the FaithWriters Conference. Mark your calendars for June 28th and 29th, 2013 in Portland, OR!


Return to The Water Cooler

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest


© MeasurelessMedia. All rights reservedTerms of Service



Jesus - True for You But not for Me      Website Builder     Build Website     Is Jesus God?    
Does God exist?     Build a writers website     Does truth exist?     Website online in minutes