The perfect place for general chat (non-writing related). Please, no political discussions.
OK.. I checked with the guy doing the insurance for the store and he explained it better. For anyone needing medical care of any kind it will soon be handled only through Insurance and not cash payments. To get E.R. care will be Insurance only. (Which is odd, if one gets hurt in an accident EMTs wont even be able to assist them if they don't have it..?? ) BUT.. as I refuse to go to doctors, (unless he is a time traveling type ) and they can't legally force me to go to a doctor unless I am unconscious, I don't NEED to have it, therefore they cant force me to buy it.
The new ruling, as he explained it, is for "Companies" to provide low cost insurance for their employees, or be fined, not the individual employee.
So, if the ruling is different later when it actually comes out.. I guess I will need to sue the government.
Now on to better topics. My insanity.
I know it is just my craziness, but my dreams of late have been getting more intense. The haunting memories are getting worse as well as the "End-time vision" dreams. I know it is probably due to the Mayans and their "End of the World" calendar. (that and the silly shows I watch that keep reminding me) If it does come about, I know I am ready, but the dreams seem so real, they hurt. It is bad enough to get so little sleep, but to have what sleep I do get haunted but such dreams... I really do think it is driving me crazy.
Oh Pup, I can so relate about the dream thing. Ever since I was a little girl I had a horrible death phobia with full-blown panic attacks. I'd literally be in my parents' bed climbing the walls because the fear was so intense. It used to irritate my dad and he'd grumble there is nothing to do to change so what's the point of worrying. I missed a lot of school because I'd be up so late terrified.
I've also had night terrors. I felt like I am dying and the panic is horrible. I'd leave my bed screaming and looking for another human. I had thought for years that what was happening was I started to fall asleep but then would catch myself and it felt like dying. No one really understood what I meant. Then last week I had a horrible nightmare and Chris had to come in to get me to stop screaming (often my family would ignore it because it happened so often) I questioned him about what I was saying and how long I'd been screaming and he answered It's the same as usual. I looked at him and said are you sure because now that I'm thinking about it I haven't had one of these in ages. He agreed and between the two of us we figured out what probably was happening was the sleep apnea. The night I had the nightmare I fell asleep without it on. So those feeling like I was dying feelings probably were because I was so close to dying. I know in the hospital my o2 sats and vital signs were super low.
I know you won't go to a doctor but I wonder if you have sleep apnea too. I had another night terror and this time I did have the mask on but it hadn't been working right plus I've gained back so much of my weight. Has anyone ever told you that you snore? I know you live alone but figure you've had roommates at conferences and what not.
I do get it and it scares me too. In fact I wrote a story about it in my sleep! (Ironic now that I think about it) In it the girl worries that she isn't a good Christian because she is afraid. After all if you believe in God why would you worry about the end of the world. But even Jesus understood it crying out Why have you forsaken me? Now he has inside information but still had a sense of fear--most likely because as humans we need to know we're not alone and if Jesus can have a moment then who are we to say someone is a "bad" Christian just because they are afraid? Here is the story if you're interested. http://www.faithwriters.com/wc-article- ... p?id=44208
I also think before you go to bed you should rebuke Satan in Jesus'name and tell him he has no power over you. I think you need to say it aloud since he doesn't reside inside us like the Holy Spirit does. But try doing that and see if it makes a difference. Also you may want to think about the sleep study and sleep apnea. I hate going to doctors too but waking up with my throat raw from screaming and my heart pumping at 200 bpm is worse than going to the doctors--I think. I'll be praying for you my friend.
I just want to thank all of you who had my back this week and reached out to me. Reading a challenge story and feeling like I'm the reason the numbers have gone down was like being hit in the gut. Plus it came just a week or so after receiving a PM from another person who was leaving FW because I took the fun out of it. I went back and read all the comments I made on the one person who bashed me in the story (No he didn't use my name but it was quite clear that he was talking about me) and the comments didn't seem that harsh at all. I did leave a comment on every entry this year and there were a few times where I gave what I believed to be constructive criticism plus added plenty of good things about his story. It has taken me almost a full week to get to the point where I can be near the computer and not feel like puking. I know many people say shake it off, it's his problem not yours. But I don't think they get what FW means to me. It has literally and figuratively saved my life before. I think everyone here knows to some degree that I can get in really dark places. I just want to thank everyone who prayed or offered some comfort. It means so much that I have this little group of oddballs that really love me and I in return really love each one of you!
I'm also one that has had bad dreams ever since I was little. I guess you could say I was always scared of everything. Well not always.
I was scared of little things when I was younger, like snakes and worms. I'd have nightmares about them and be stuck in a pit full of worms and snakes and that I couldn't breathe or get out of it. One night it was so bad my mom had to sleep in my bed with me but I still couldn't sleep and I kept looking at my mom and seeing a big snake instead of my mom.
I remember being scared of ghosts. I would have nightmares of them too or I couldn't fall asleep. One night I crept into my parents room and told my dad i was too scared to go to sleep. He asked why and all I said was "ghosts". He gave me some cockamamie excuse not to be afraid and sent me back to bed.
as I got older I would have dreams about people breaking into our house. People hurting me and/or my family or killing us. Basically I started to have more violent dreams of varying violence.
At this point I still have the same kind of dreams, or about ghosts or about car accidents.
Anyway... I guess I just rambled on and on. lol
Dum Spiro Spero
I wonder if you and Pup both have a mild to moderate case of sleep apnea. When I was in for the epilepsy monitoring, they said I never slept more than 5 minutes at a time and probably have been like that since I was a kid.
My sister-in-law used to have terrifying dreams over and over again, and then last year she found out she had sleep apnea too. I didn't ask if her dreams went away, but I will when I see her next.
I'm glad you're getting back on the horse, Shann. You are probably THE most consistent and encouraging Faithwriter who ever helped people every single week. I know the Jewelers used to divide up the Challenge articles to comment on everyone, but you do it singlehandedly! I seriously don't know how you find time! So yeah, don't let those meanies get you down.
After losing ten zillion hours when we had no patients, I put in a full week's work this week including overtime to make up for it. Guess it's because the moon got full and it started raining, or God answered my prayers and those of all you who lifted one up for me. Anyway, I much appreciate the prayers answered and the additional income. The Hyundai ended up costing more than we anticipated, so it will be nice to get that paid off.
Hope you all are doing well. I'm pretty tired, as I got up early for our Advent festival. I played Greensleeves (What Child Is This?) with only a quick run through beforehand. It turned out okay; maybe I'll work up something a little more advanced for next year. Last year I did my standard O Holy Night, so I didn't want to repeat it, just in case people remembered.
Hummmmm.. where is everyone.
I know the aliens didn't get them. It's not the 21st yet.
I have decided that I can keep the end of the world at bay. As one of my earliest "End of the World" dreams was about me finding the girl of my dreams right before the end came, as long as I don't find her, we are all safe.
I know what she looks like. Short and elfish looking... with long hair... and ummmm.
That bit about the end of the world coming on Dec. 15th because of the end of the Mayan calendar is a myth. To the Mayans, it would've been partytime, not the end of the world. All the end of the Long Count calendar means is the same as when we change calendars on Dec. 31st.
And forget about the so-called "zombie apocalypse" while you're at it.
Sorry to be a party-pooper, but come on....
Who cares about zombies, I just want the government to admit to hiding aliens in people basements.
I was wondering too. I worked almost two hours overtime yesterday. Tonight I was off, but put myself available, though they never called me. Ryan was happy, though. He's pulling an all-nighter writing his history paper. So I caught up email, did the budget, paid the bills, etc. I may jump on the Wii in a bit and work on my balance. The nights at work where I've been super busy, I noticed some tinges in my back. I can't afford the chiropractor right now, so I need to do what I can on my own.
I am thinking about entering the Christmas contest, but I'm not sure I had the "proper" reaction to the video, and would I really offend people if I write what I really think? Hmmm....
Tonight is the first night of Ryan's Christmas play. He joined the acting group this fall and they've been practicing since September. I am excited to see it all come together. I am bringing a gal from work and another friend from nearby who actually used to know Ryan back in Seattle even before I met him. Should be a good night.
Now if he can hurry up and finish his paper so we can go to bed..............
Balance Leah, balance. It is all a matter of balance. Budget, back, books, bed... balance.
Hi all ... Long time no gab I posted this on facebook last night, so I thought I'd check in here and let you all know what is going on. I am not trying to worry anyone ... I am doing fine, just thought you would want to know.
My blog Da Bus Stop
I don't care whether the glass is half full or half empty. I want to know what's in the glass!
One of these days I will stop biting the bullet ... I will put it back in my gun and shoot
Timmy!!!!!!! Good to "see" you again. Glad to hear you're okay despite the health issues. Hope your surgery goes well without any problems. Ya know, it would be fun someday to hang with you and Pam since I'm somewhat in your neck of the woods now. Ryan and I still need people to play games with us.
Ryan finally finished his paper around 6:30, then we were editing it until after 8am...needless to say I didn't balance well on the sleep today, so I'll have to make up for it tonight/tomorrow. The good news is I called his professor and he had received it and said it looked GREAT. Obviously he hadn't read it yet in depth, but he said the formatting looked terrific (we followed his directions very carefully) so it was a good chance that he'd aced it. I can vouch for the content - I forced him to cite a source for EVERY sentence minus his thesis and the final sentence. So if he doesn't get an "A" in the class I'd seriously be surprised. He has one more paper for science but he already wrote the intro and conclusion last week with a full outline of the rest, so he should have a much easier job putting it together.
His play was awesome tonight; a ton of fun and the actors really pulled it together. It was a musical, and the sound and lighting worked well. Only one prop went tumbling, and a few people paused during their lines, but overall Ryan said it was the best they've ever done. I know both the girls with me enjoyed it as well. It's great to see it totally put together. I've heard the music when Ryan practices, and he told me about different lines and stuff, so it was even better than I imagined. One of the actors wrote the screenplay, which kinda gives me inspiration to think about writing my own...
Well, I'm pretty wiped, and I have two nights of work coming up, so I'll sign off. I miss Shann and the rest of our regulars. Everyone must be pretty busy. Night night.
Ahh Tim, I love you and if there is anything I can do let me know. I'll even send you my phone number so you or Pam could call any time. I do remember some nursing stuff like the lungs are in the chest cavity right? (I'd know more if you were having a baby or a hysterectomy) But I am here for you anytime. I know you don't want to worry Pam so if you need to talk to someone please know I'm here for you. I'll be definitely keeping your whole family in my prayers and thoughts. I was so excited when I saw you had popped in but then saddened to hear your news. Whatever you or Pam needs, we will be here for you? Hugs and prayers zipping through cyberspace right now.
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