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#11--Creative, Unique, Fresh

These lessons, by one of our most consistent FaithWriters' Challenge Champions, should not be missed. So we're making a permanent home for them here.

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choosingjoy
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Postby choosingjoy » Sun May 16, 2010 10:11 pm

Hi Jan, :lol:

#1
At the office where she worked, angry words from irate clients were becoming an everyday occurence.

The preschool graduate didn't understand why she had to attend kindergarten every day. :?

#2
Something that helps me to give a unique touch to fiction is to bring out some strong personality trait in a MC.
For instance: Andy drummed his thumbs impatiently on the magazine table. Didn't the receptionist realize he'd been waiting for over ten minutes ?

(Used my hubby for this illustration) :roll:

#3 - I have to think about, but I'll be back. I want to try it. :typing2

Your suggestions were all really good. Thanks for sharing your knowledge with us,
A child of the King!
Genia

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glorybee
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Postby glorybee » Sun May 16, 2010 10:24 pm

Excellent, Genia. I love your suggestion of a 'strong personality trait'. Too many stories have bland, vanilla characters.

I'm looking forward to your next contribution!
Jan Ackerson

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FreedomWriter
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Postby FreedomWriter » Thu May 20, 2010 2:57 pm

HOMEWORK #1

1. Must he blow his leaves in my yard every day?

2. His everyday habit of blowing leaves in my yard makes me want to get a blower of my own.

HOMEWORK #2

I enjoy reading short stories with a hidden interpretation within it. I sometimes navigate my writing that way, which is risky, risky!


HOMEWORK #3

Working on it. :D
-Rikki
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11

Started my very long journey May 29th 2012 toward continued education.
Destination: Doctor of Psychology.

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glorybee
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Postby glorybee » Thu May 20, 2010 5:53 pm

Thanks for you input--can you say more about the hidden meanings? How do you go about that?

Looking forward to your next post.
Jan Ackerson

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CatLin
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Postby CatLin » Thu May 20, 2010 5:56 pm

glorybee wrote:Looking forward to your next post.


Me too!!
:D
Catrina Bradley
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"God rewrote the text of my life when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes." Psalm 18:24 (The Message)

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Postby FreedomWriter » Wed May 26, 2010 2:15 pm

Well, that I am not sure!
I tried it this week with my challenge entry.

For instance-

Overinflated basketballs don't respond well. - (Puffed up).

Okay. So I have tweaking to do!
-Rikki
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11

Started my very long journey May 29th 2012 toward continued education.
Destination: Doctor of Psychology.

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eearth
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Homework #1

Postby eearth » Thu May 27, 2010 8:52 am

Every day is a different day, even when I just do everyday things during that day.
1 John 1:4 And these things write we unto you, that your joy may be full.

FREE writing lessons by Jan Ackerson can be found at:
http://www.faithwriters.com/Boards/phpB ... hp?t=29535
Now she is covering what the judges are looking for in the weekly Writers Challenge.

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glorybee
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Postby glorybee » Thu May 27, 2010 9:15 am

Freedom Writer--I think I understand what you're getting at--making statements that the reader can infer meaning from, rather than just outright saying the thing. It's essentially "showing, not telling". Am I right?
Jan Ackerson

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Postby glorybee » Thu May 27, 2010 9:16 am

Ernie--exactly!

Now, I just noticed that you're from Florida...and I see your picture...are you SURE you're not...

Ernest Hemingway?
Jan Ackerson

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Postby FreedomWriter » Thu May 27, 2010 6:53 pm

My goodness. Beth said it in her gold box to me on this week's challenge.
They're metaphors. Duh.
-Rikki
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11

Started my very long journey May 29th 2012 toward continued education.
Destination: Doctor of Psychology.

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#3 topic

Postby flyingcross » Tue Jun 01, 2010 9:48 am

“Only one person, that’s all I need--one person to care.” The fallen angel’s light glowed softly, beckoning someone, anyone to help her.

She was cast out, but had fallen hard, and without that one person she would die. She cried out, and her beacon glowed, but was slowly fading.

She felt them looking at her, hundreds of them flashing by with the soft whoosh of tires and intermittent horn, even loud music filtered to her as she lay in the ditch. They were all curious, but no one had time, she felt it all as her light started to go out. “Not one person,” she sighed.

Then she saw blonde curls and smiles. “Mommy, I told you I saw something shiny.”

“I know honey, I saw it too. I was just in such a hurry.”

The child picks up the injured puppy and reads its shiny tag-- “Angel”.

Thanks,
Cindy

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#1

Postby flyingcross » Tue Jun 01, 2010 7:33 pm

In my dreams I live every day like my last. That’s why everyday things are only outside my dreams.

Thanks,
Cindy

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glorybee
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Re: #3 topic

Postby glorybee » Wed Jun 02, 2010 4:42 pm

Cindy, I love how you took my scenario and looked at it from the POV of the 'something shiny'--I beleive you're the only person to do that, and for that I give you a belated gold star (I've been on vacation, sorry).

flyingcross wrote:“Only one person, that’s all I need--one person to care.” The fallen angel’s light glowed softly, beckoning someone, anyone to help her.

She was cast out, but had fallen hard, and without that one person she would die. She cried out, and her beacon glowed, but was slowly fading.

She felt them looking at her, hundreds of them flashing by with the soft whoosh of tires and intermittent horn, even loud music filtered to her as she lay in the ditch. They were all curious, but no one had time, she felt it all as her light started to go out. “Not one person,” she sighed.

Then she saw blonde curls and smiles. “Mommy, I told you I saw something shiny.”

“I know honey, I saw it too. I was just in such a hurry.”

The child picks up the injured puppy and reads its shiny tag-- “Angel”.

Thanks,
Cindy


A few things you might want to work on: the two sentences I have highlighted in green both contain comma splices, and the verbs highlighted in red are problematical--they are present tense verbs, while the rest of the verbs in your snippet are past tense verbs. The only one that might work is 'smiles' if you meant it as a plural noun rather than a verb--but that's a problem, too, as it's easily mis-read.

Those are very minor tweaks in a very creative bit of writing--well done! And your 'every day/everyday' homework was well done, too! Thanks for contributing to this lesson!
Jan Ackerson

ShayneThill
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Re: #11--Creative, Unique, Fresh

Postby ShayneThill » Tue Oct 22, 2013 1:44 am

Cell phone out of signals? Maybe, your phone was disabled by a phone blocker.

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