#11--Creative, Unique, Fresh

[glorybee]

Pam, good job! I love your details like kicking the dust off his boots and feeling 'at home' in his truck.

Very well done.

[glorybee]

How about:

"I try to read my Bible every day because, in everyday life, its logic is very useful."

Great job on Homework #1!

Care to give #2 or #3 a shot?

[CatLin]

Cat, that was excellent! So different from the others submitted so far, and with a hint of a back story, even in those 150 words. Why would Daphne assume the worst like that? I wonder if I know...

Lots of great little details and salsa words--thanks for letting us read this!

I'd love to hear from you--how do you go about making your entries fresh and creative?

Wow, Jan. I read this comment at lunch today, and you set of a chain of thoughts that changed my outlook on a situation today...for the positive to be sure.

"A Million Little Reasons" was the 2nd thing I wrote for FW. I joined while the challenge was on break, and practiced by writing about some personal experiences for the general submissions area, including this story.

How do I make my entries "fresh and creative"? As a rule, I imagine myself in whatever situation, and write what I would actually feel, think, smell, etc. were I there.

Every person has different reactions, and notices different things. Instead of making a stereotype character reacting in stereotypical fashion , I try to make them real people, by inserting me into them. In this story, Daphne is me, in a fictional setting. This is how I would react.

Daphne doesn't have a "back-story" (but you did get me thinking about one - and a good idea for a novelette!). She merely suffers from depression and generalized anxiety disorder. She always assumes the worst, so this is her normal reaction to life.

Or If I'm feeling really writerly, I'll be an imaginary person, one who would talk back smartly and logically (without getting hysterical) to someone who has cut them down, or one who sings to a hall filled with fans...and I write what I would feel, think, etc if I had the confidence, talents, whatever to do those things.

I sometimes ask my pastor to read my entries before submitting, especially if they're "spiritual". I don't want to misrepresent the truth, ya know. One was pretty dark, and he asked jokingly, "This isn't autobiographical, is it?"

I said, "They're all autobiographical."

Sorry, I got long winded. Are you sorry you asked for more comments.

[trinkes2002]

He was in a hurry that Friday evening as he sped home around the sharp turns of Rt. 19. His sister was there, along with the kids and her husband, and he looked forward to a weekend with family and friends. As he made his way around the last right-hand turn before town he immediately thought:

“What was that? It shone brightly in the setting sun. I've never noticed it before; its probably nothing. I need gas.”

He pulled into the pumps at the Sunoco, but couldn't get the picture out of his head. What was it, he thought? It looked like...chrome. The proverb of the Good Samaritan filled his brain.

In a nanosecond he peeled out of the station, heading high speed back to the turn just in time to see a taillight, the right corner of a chrome bumper, a hand—and then the arm—grasping at the tall grass.

[glorybee]

Cat, those insights were AWESOME!

It's fascinating to me, because I almost NEVER wrote "myself" into a story. And the one that were 'me' didn't do so well...

Isn't it wonderful, the huge variety of ways that we different writers access the writer within us, and the different 'buttons' God has given us to push?

[glorybee]

He personal preference, and unrelated to this week's lesson--I'd suggest that you start with a name rather than a pronoun was in a hurry that Friday evening as he sped home around the sharp turns of Rt. 19. His sister was there, along with the kids and her husband, and he looked forward to a weekend with family and friends. As he made his way around the last right-hand turn before town he immediately thought: the thoughts in the next paragraph can be added to the end of this one. Use italics, and omit the colon.

“What was that? It shone brightly in the setting sun. I've never noticed it before; its probably nothing. I need gas.” This may be slightly too articulate for thoughts. Most of us think in fragments and bursts.

He pulled into the pumps at the Sunoco, but couldn't get the picture out of his head. What was it, he thought? It looked like...chrome. The proverb of the Good Samaritan filled his brain.

In a nanosecond he peeled out of the station, heading high speed back to the turn just in time to see a taillight, the right corner of a chrome bumper, a hand—and then the arm—grasping at the tall grass.

Those last two paragraphs are OUTSTANDING! The ending is open, but you've trusted both your own writing and your readers' intelligence--we know what's going to happen next because you expertly led us there.

Your words choices really worked in this selection: nanosecond, peeled, grasping...very, very well done. Thanks for stopping by!

Oh, you might want to pop into the "Newbie" forum and introduce yourself--and let me know if you're unfamiliar with the HTML code needed to make italics.

[trinkes2002]

Thanks Jan, because I don't know what an HTML is, or even what it looks like. I'll go there later, LOST is starting.

[trinkes2002]

Paul was in a hurry that Friday evening as he sped home around the sharp turns of Rt. 19. His sister was there, along with the kids and her husband, and he looked forward to a weekend with family and friends. As he made his way around the last right-hand turn before town he immediately thought, “What was that? It was shiny. Maybe it's the guardrail and the sun hit it just right...I need gas.”

He pulled into the pumps at the Sunoco, but couldn't get the picture out of his head. What was it, he thought? It looked like...chrome. The proverb of the Good Samaritan filled his brain.

In a nanosecond he peeled out of the station, heading high speed back to the turn just in time to see a taillight, the right corner of a chrome bumper, a hand—and then the arm—grasping at the tall grass.

Note: Jan, I use Open Office, and italics won't transfer if I write in text format. Can I use another format for this. Hope this version is better.

[CatLin]

Thanks Jan, because I don't know what an HTML is, or even what it looks like. I'll go there later, LOST is starting.

And we were all right there watching it with you.

[glorybee]

Tom, doing italics here at FaithWriters is tricky. If you're here on the message boards it's not TOO difficult: just highlight the words you want italicized, then click the little "i" button just above your text box. The HTML code will automatically appear in your text, and once you hit 'Submit', it'll show up on your posting.

When submitting a Challenge Entry, you have to type in the code yourself. If you want to italicize the phrase 'great teacher' in the next sentence, you'd type it like this:

Man, that Jan is really a <i>great teacher</i>, isn't she?

Once you hit 'submit', the words will be italicized in your entry. Use the 'Preview' button to make sure you got it right--if you miss even one keystroke, it won't work.

[Wanda]

Homework # 1

Doing the same things every day can get to be too much.
So, I watch Joyce Meyer, Enjoying Everyday Life, every day.

[glorybee]

Good job, Wanda!

Thanks for stopping in--hope to see you in future 'lessons', too!

[honeyrock]

Thanks, Jan for being here! I felt a need for a lesson this week since I "bombed" last week.....

Homework #1

Every day Barbel slathered cream cheese on a blueberry bagel precisely at 8:00 a.m. However, breakfast this morning warranted far more than everyday fare.

Homework #

Clint slowed for the dip in the road and fumbled at the radio on his shoulder. “Easy, buddy. Don’t wreck now," he cautioned inwardly.

“Four-nine to dispatch. Ten-ten. Maggie’s in labor,” he croaked.

“CLINT! I mean, 10-4!”

The sherriff grinned wide. He could be a dad by tonight!

Just then, a flash of light from behind a Tamerisk tree caught his attention. Cint craned his neck and peered out of his shades. “That’s odd, “he thought. His sandy hair prickled to attention. It was nothing! Lint was more dangerous than Crate Bend, Arizona. And Maggie needed him - now!

He steered toward the shoulder anyway and rolled to a stop. It would only take a moment, and his duty after all. Clint felt his heart race as he exited his patrol car and flipped the safety on his holster.
*****
My question for the moment is, how do you make italics to show when submitting a challenge entry??

[honeyrock]

oh wow, just saw the instructions on italics after I submitted. Got it!

[glorybee]

Homework #1

Every day Barbel slathered cream cheese on a blueberry bagel precisely at 8:00 a.m. However, breakfast this morning warranted far more than everyday fare. Good job, and you made me hungry.

Homework #

Clint slowed for the dip in the road and fumbled at the radio on his shoulder. “Easy, buddy. Don’t wreck now," he cautioned inwardly. If you use italics here (now that you know how), you can omit the tag, saving yourself three words.

“Four-nine to dispatch. Ten-ten. Maggie’s in labor,” he croaked. I'd attach this to the end of the previoius paragraph, since it's still Clint. For a moment, I thought it was someone else speaking to Clint, and I was a bit confused.

“CLINT! I mean, 10-4!”

The sherriff grinned wide. He could be a dad by tonight!

Just then, a flash of light from behind a Tamerisk tree caught his attention. Cint craned his neck and peered out of his shades. “That’s odd, “he thought. His sandy hair prickled to attention. It was nothing! Lint was more dangerous than Crate Bend, Arizona. And Maggie needed him - now!

He steered toward the shoulder anyway and rolled to a stop. It would only take a moment, and his duty after all. Clint felt his heart race as he exited his patrol car and flipped the safety on his holster.

Very well done--as with several others' homework entries, you have an open ending. This is something you can do in the challenge, too, even though you have 750 words. I'll write more about this when I get to that Judging Criteria.

You've got some superb word choices, especially your verbs. You've included conflict, and some nifty details. Good job!