Jan's Poetry Class: Haiku

[glorybee]

This is my first Jan's class! And my first haiku since elementary school. We'll see how it goes....


Fields of yellow orange
North Dakota sunflowers
Standing tall as me.


"Orange" is one syllable where I'm from, so I think that's acceptable.
And here is my silly one; it breaks the ryhming rule and (I think)the subjective:

I would like to rhyme
Me a silly little line
And I hope that's fine!

Both of these are excellent, Cherie! I love the image in the first one, and of course, I always love a bit of silliness! Can't want to see what you have to write for the next class!

[OldManRivers]

sparkling diamonds,
drift by as liquid laughter,
cool and blue, she flows.

[Chely]

Sliding into my seat moments before the final bell...

Glad to see you back, Mrs. A

Here's my attempt at the assignment:

Wind whips, willows bend,

whispering soliloquies,

extolling His Son.

[glorybee]

sparkling diamonds,
drift by as liquid laughter,
cool and blue, she flows.

Jim, that's beautiful! Perfect haiku form, and a bit of personification, and a lovely image.

Thanks for popping by!

[glorybee]

Wind whips, willows bend,

whispering soliloquies,

extolling His Son.

Oh, Chely, so pretty! I love the alliteration of the "W" sounds, suggesting the wind, and the use of "soliloquies", such a gorgeous word.

[Jer2911]

Here is my attempt if it's not to late.

Under the trees shade
I feel the cool summer breeze
writing this Haiku

[glorybee]

Here is my attempt if it's not to late.

Under the trees shade
I feel the cool summer breeze
writing this Haiku

Hey, Jer (is that what I should call you?), welcome!

Not too late at all...there's no tardy bell in this class.

I love the fact that this haiku is self-referential...gives it a little "zinger" at the end. And it fits all the other criteria; syllable count is correct, you mention nature, no rhyming...

Only thing I'd do is add an apostrophe to "tree's".

Thanks for popping in! I've started the next thread--quatrain. Hope to see you there!

[CatLin]

Since I've been working on a few Haiku's, I thought I'd go ahead and post them. Besides, what else am I going to do with them? (Do I get extra credit? )


smokey autumn air
red flames nibbling at darkness
camp fires dot the night


Glistening turquoise
roils into foaming whitecaps,
crests, curls, crashes ebbs.


Like a bolt of lightning
Your Holy Spirit pierces
Illuminating

[glorybee]

Sure, Catrina, you can have extra credit. You're the haiku queen! These are marvelous!

[beff]

sneaking in here...

a common sight here in Arizona--

Updraft, funnel, wind
Faux treacherous appearance
Benign dust devil

[glorybee]

Beth, that's a good one!

Just a suggestion: the "faux" in the 2nd line gives away the "punch" in the 3rd. Can you add a different 7th syllable?

I'd love to visit Arizona some day; it's COLD here in Michigan already!

[Allison]

Pine trees green with white
First snowfall of the season
Cool crisp air bites me

And now... for all the "sickies" out there...

Cough and cough some more
Let's add to the symphony
Blowing noses. Honk!

[glorybee]

Very good, Allison--and I'm so sorry you're sick. Your haiku are great; I love the image of the air "biting".

How about wandering over to "quatrain" and trying your hand at one of those?

Now, stay away from me.

[GShuler]

I know these shouldn't rhyme but is internal rhyming taboo as well?


I see you flying
in defiance of science.
Stay free, Bumblebee.

This one is just for fun:

Don't count your chickens
while they are still in the egg...
they may be guineas.

[beff]

Beth, that's a good one!

Just a suggestion: the "faux" in the 2nd line gives away the "punch" in the 3rd. Can you add a different 7th syllable?

I'd love to visit Arizona some day; it's COLD here in Michigan already!

yes, you're right, I gave away the "punch" ...

we'd love to have you visit AZ! ... we're high desert, so not quite as warm as Phoenix though..