by Kid Denver » Fri Jan 30, 2009 11:33 am
It's called serendipity in a Holy Spirit led kind of way. I don't know if the idea is original or not, Jan. The piece just kind of evolved into a "Wow, if I do this and then that, then this could possibly be the outcome" type of thing.
But, to maybe help with this topic, I like rhyme at times, but try to find unique ways of implementing it. So, if it wasn't for my refusal to write four lines where just the last lines rhymed, I would not have ventured into a poem you can read frontward and backward, rhyme, and still convey a message of hope that someone can forgive you.
I only spent 45 minutes from first line to hit submit, so I will be revisiting this idea, because I too thought it was pretty cool. I know the melody and flow needs work on this piece, but I thought I would offer the idea to show rhyme can be much more than similar sounding end words where the presence of every other word in the piece is there to provide a place for the rhyme. I have found when rhyming in a poem, sometimes we work so hard on the rhyme, we forget about all of the other words and present no vision or emotion other than rhyme. I think that any rhyme should be there to support all the other words, to sort of give them a fancy hat that highlights the beauty of the rest of the words, like a face. On the other hand, if all of the words are there to support the rhyme and give it presence, all you have is an expressionless face with a fancy hat and the only reason the face is even in the picture is to provide a head to place the hat on.
For whatever all of that gibberish is worth, is my two cents. I have to go back to the bat cave now. Keep up the good work. I'll drop in again.
-Henry C.
