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Jan's Master Class--SLANT RHYME

These lessons, by one of our most consistent FaithWriters' Challenge Champions, should not be missed. So we're making a permanent home for them here.

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CatLin
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Postby CatLin » Tue Feb 10, 2009 1:27 pm

Avoiding my Saviour, I dithered all day
Who would have known it was me that He saved?
I didn't reveal Him by action or deed
So how will they know Him if Him they can't see?



Ok, weak, but see the slant rhymes?? :mrgreen:

I've used this poem as an example before, but I don't have a whole lot of poetry to pick from. I was proud of the "almost rhymes" - mainly because I had the nerve to use them. After this poem failed with the judges, I try never to do it again. Not that it matters - none of my poems do well with the judges.

:roll:

http://www.faithwriters.com/wc-article- ... p?id=14644
Catrina Bradley
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"God rewrote the text of my life when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes." Psalm 18:24 (The Message)

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glorybee
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Postby glorybee » Tue Feb 10, 2009 1:49 pm

Catrina, you did an excellent job with the "homework", and I also really enjoyed re-reading your linked poem. It may not have placed that week, but it's apparent from your comments that it resonated with several people.

Thanks for stopping by with your insights!
Jan Ackerson

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Verna
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Postby Verna » Tue Feb 10, 2009 3:32 pm

Avoiding my Savior, I'd dithered all day,
Then wondered why all in my life was awry.

Do you know how hard that was for me to do? I love slant rhyme when Emily Dickinson did it, but find it hard to do for myself. It's sort of like how the girls are parting their hair in two or three different chunks now. I want to smooth it out for them--make it straight--just my left brain hopping out, when usually my right one works harder.

The poem you used first is one of my favorites of Dickinson. I can't read it without a lump in my throat.

Thanks for how you stretch us.
Verna

A merry heart doeth good like a medicine...
Proverb 17:22

Facebook author page: Verna Cole Mitchell
http://www.magnificomanuscripts.com/

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Postby Pat » Tue Feb 10, 2009 6:14 pm

Here are two different types of poems with some slant rhymes ...

http://www.faithwriters.com/article-det ... p?id=36659

http://www.faithwriters.com/wc-article- ... p?id=16102 (some good slants in this one) :wink:

I love slants because I feel they are more interesting to read - they give depth to a piece - something that reaches inside the reader (and writer) and stays a while to play with the mind yet satisfies the meaning.

I'm probably not making any sense
but I love slant rhymes the best. :mrgreen:
Last edited by Pat on Tue Feb 10, 2009 6:16 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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glorybee
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Postby glorybee » Tue Feb 10, 2009 6:14 pm

Excellent, Verna!

I love that poem, too...she could say so much in just a few dozen words, couldn't she?
Jan Ackerson

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Postby Pat » Tue Feb 10, 2009 8:04 pm

Did I not slant enough? 8) Maybe I am misunderstanding slant ... :shock:

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Postby glorybee » Tue Feb 10, 2009 8:38 pm

Sorry I missed that one post, Pat! There was a brief interruption in our internet today, and you must have slipped in while I was separated from the cyberworld.

You did it absolutely right, and I really love

tummy/mommy rhythm/vision

in that second poem, which I'll be glad to feature any time you want to link to it! Thanks too for your feelings about why you like slant rhyme best. I think you're correct that it works very well in a less structured, almost-free-verse type poem, because of the relative freedom it gives the poet.
Jan Ackerson

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Postby Pat » Tue Feb 10, 2009 9:02 pm

Jan, thanks! And you can use that one anytime you want!

Counting down .....!

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Postby beff » Wed Feb 11, 2009 4:07 pm

Yes, I've done this... I do try to use exact rhymes, but when I positively, absolutely have to "have" a certain word, I'll use it...

one that comes to mind is, farm/barn

Folks said he went to market.
Some said he bought the farm.
Perhaps he cashed his cow chips in --
He ain’t been ’round this barn.

from: General Bullregard--A North South Tale
Beth LaBuff

..in these last days He has spoken to us by His Son... Hebrews 1:2

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Postby Kid Denver » Wed Feb 11, 2009 7:16 pm

Not what you are looking for, I am sure, but it does slant.

Protrusions
Produce ugly songs
Sung while stinging bees search
Outside hanging hives from rural eaves
For love lost during stormy nights of untimely woe
While the quiet Queen dies, draped in honey, praying alone

-Henry C
Whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men,... Col. 3:23

My Member Profile Page: http://www.faithwriters.com/member-profile.php?id=27052

My Blog: The Underside of Green: http://henryclemmonspoet.blogspot.com/

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Postby glorybee » Wed Feb 11, 2009 7:29 pm

Beth, thanks for the reminder of your charming barnyard tale. I certainly hope that you've got a collection of your poetry somewhere!

Feel free to slant any time you wish!
Jan Ackerson

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glorybee
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Postby glorybee » Wed Feb 11, 2009 7:33 pm

Kid Denver wrote:Not what you are looking for, I am sure, but it does slant.

Protrusions
Produce ugly songs
Sung while stinging bees search
Outside hanging hives from rural eaves
For love lost during stormy nights of untimely woe
While the quiet Queen dies, draped in honey, praying alone

-Henry C


Yes, it does, Mr. Literal, and I see you've tossed in an actual slant rhyme there to make me happy, too.

And if I were playing "Count the Poetic Devices", I'd list quite a few others besides....as always, thanks for your contribution. I'd love to hear your thoughts on slant rhyme.
Jan Ackerson

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Kid Denver
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Postby Kid Denver » Wed Feb 11, 2009 8:01 pm

Why would I use two words that almost rhyme? Because I want the reader out of the box, on guard, so to speak, on their mental toes, ready for what comes next instead of expecting it. In rhymes, sometimes, you can almost write the next line before you read it. In slant rhyme, it slows the reader down, there’s suspense; a certain artistry, an unorthodox math involved where one plus one does not always equal two, but the answer is still relative. It also takes some of the attention away from the last word of each line and gives the writer the opportunity to use more tools, involve more words and paint a more detailed picture. Granted the piece I entered above probably makes no sense as far as an exact, one interpretation only meaning goes (like an exact rhyme), but hopefully it might illustrate the ills of a corporate distraction; a slanted meaning, for sure.

Yes, I think I’ve lost it :o

Blessings,

Henry C.
Whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men,... Col. 3:23

My Member Profile Page: http://www.faithwriters.com/member-profile.php?id=27052

My Blog: The Underside of Green: http://henryclemmonspoet.blogspot.com/

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Postby glorybee » Wed Feb 11, 2009 8:42 pm

Kid Denver wrote:Why would I use two words that almost rhyme? Because I want the reader out of the box, on guard, so to speak, on their mental toes, ready for what comes next instead of expecting it. In rhymes, sometimes, you can almost write the next line before you read it. In slant rhyme, it slows the reader down, there’s suspense; a certain artistry, an unorthodox math involved where one plus one does not always equal two, but the answer is still relative. It also takes some of the attention away from the last word of each line and gives the writer the opportunity to use more tools, involve more words and paint a more detailed picture. Granted the piece I entered above probably makes no sense as far as an exact, one interpretation only meaning goes (like an exact rhyme), but hopefully it might illustrate the ills of a corporate distraction; a slanted meaning, for sure.

Henry C.


What he said.
Jan Ackerson

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poems

Postby yvonne » Mon Feb 16, 2009 4:41 pm

I"ve been busy this last week and didn't get to join the class. I've also gotten a new laptop and have to retrieve some of my files(from my old computer) to find my poetry.

I like to read slant poetry because they are almost like puns. They give that little twist just when you think you know what word the poet will use. It's not easy to try to use slant poetry. Usually I use it when I can't find just the right rhyme to mean what I want it to mean.

I'll get back with my homework....need to think and search a little first.

Vonnie

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