To view this notification widget you need to have JavaScript enabled. This notification widget was easily created with NotifySnack.
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join Login
My Account
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  




The HOME for Christian writers!
The Home for Christian Writers!

Forums

This area is only a small portion of FaithWriters. The main site can be joined HERE.
Shop & Save to SUPPORT FaithWriters.
Upgrade to SUPPORT FaithWriters.

Jan's Master Class--RHYME

These lessons, by one of our most consistent FaithWriters' Challenge Champions, should not be missed. So we're making a permanent home for them here.

Moderators: mikeedwards, glorybee

User avatar
Kid Denver
Pencil 4 (150-199 Posts)
Pencil 4 (150-199 Posts)
 
Posts: 161
Joined: Sat Apr 14, 2007 2:02 pm
Location: Montreal

Postby Kid Denver » Fri Jan 30, 2009 11:33 am

It's called serendipity in a Holy Spirit led kind of way. I don't know if the idea is original or not, Jan. The piece just kind of evolved into a "Wow, if I do this and then that, then this could possibly be the outcome" type of thing.
But, to maybe help with this topic, I like rhyme at times, but try to find unique ways of implementing it. So, if it wasn't for my refusal to write four lines where just the last lines rhymed, I would not have ventured into a poem you can read frontward and backward, rhyme, and still convey a message of hope that someone can forgive you.
I only spent 45 minutes from first line to hit submit, so I will be revisiting this idea, because I too thought it was pretty cool. I know the melody and flow needs work on this piece, but I thought I would offer the idea to show rhyme can be much more than similar sounding end words where the presence of every other word in the piece is there to provide a place for the rhyme. I have found when rhyming in a poem, sometimes we work so hard on the rhyme, we forget about all of the other words and present no vision or emotion other than rhyme. I think that any rhyme should be there to support all the other words, to sort of give them a fancy hat that highlights the beauty of the rest of the words, like a face. On the other hand, if all of the words are there to support the rhyme and give it presence, all you have is an expressionless face with a fancy hat and the only reason the face is even in the picture is to provide a head to place the hat on.
For whatever all of that gibberish is worth, is my two cents. I have to go back to the bat cave now. Keep up the good work. I'll drop in again.
-Henry C.
Whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men,... Col. 3:23

My Member Profile Page: http://www.faithwriters.com/member-profile.php?id=27052

My Blog: The Underside of Green: http://henryclemmonspoet.blogspot.com/

User avatar
glorybee
Moderator
Moderator
 
Posts: 6027
Joined: Thu Nov 10, 2005 11:46 pm
Location: Michigan

Postby glorybee » Fri Jan 30, 2009 12:14 pm

Thanks so much for that, Henry! I'd love it if this sort of thinking would become epidemic here!

Glad you put in your two cents worth. It's worth a whole lot more than that!
Jan Ackerson

User avatar
Colswann1
Pencil Plus (Over 500 Posts)
Pencil Plus (Over 500 Posts)
 
Posts: 1056
Joined: Fri Nov 25, 2005 1:02 pm
Location: UK

RHYME

Postby Colswann1 » Wed Mar 04, 2009 10:44 am

Hi Jan

Can't say I'm trying to catch up as I'm still falling behind.

Homework:- (Just one verse)

Cloak adorned for a winter's rest,
And covered with an earth clad vest,
Then wind blew hard from north and west,
To squeeze the life from nature's breast.

User avatar
glorybee
Moderator
Moderator
 
Posts: 6027
Joined: Thu Nov 10, 2005 11:46 pm
Location: Michigan

Postby glorybee » Wed Mar 04, 2009 4:30 pm

Beautiful (and chilly) quatrain, Colin! Thanks for dropping by!
Jan Ackerson

User avatar
gborgstedefw
Pencil 3 (100-149 Posts)
Pencil 3 (100-149 Posts)
 
Posts: 119
Joined: Thu Feb 05, 2009 10:53 pm
Location: New Orleans, Louisiana

Postby gborgstedefw » Sun Mar 08, 2009 12:25 am

Thank you Jan for this excellent lesson. As a novice poet, I didn't really know the different meanings between the poetic terms "forced rhyme", "inexact rhyme"", and "slant rhyme". Before having access to your awesome lessons, I actually thought that "forced rhyme" was a term used to describe all poems that rhymed. :lol:

With your outstanding teaching, I now have a basic understanding of what the term "forced rhyme" really means as well as the terms "inexact rhyme" and "slant rhyme". Thank you so much for taking the time to share your writing knowledge and insights with others to help us learn and grow as writers! I sincerely appreciate it!

The following link is to the poem titled, Heart Cry, which I wrote for the India weekly challenge; however, this version includes edited revisions based on the feedback provided in the challenge.

http://www.faithwriters.com/article-det ... p?id=95154

In the poem, I have an inexact rhyme which didn't seem natural for me to do, but with your coaching provided through these lessons, I was encouraged to get out of the box I was in and go with the inexact rhyme. I'm glad I did. Again, thanks Jan for a great lesson! Have a blessed evening! :D

Sincerely,

Gary B.
Gary J. Borgstede
Founder and President of The Make It Happen Learning Institute - Reaching People, Unleashing The Extraordinary! ® www.makeithappenlearninginstitute.com

"To live life on purpose is a choice and a privilege."

User avatar
glorybee
Moderator
Moderator
 
Posts: 6027
Joined: Thu Nov 10, 2005 11:46 pm
Location: Michigan

Postby glorybee » Mon Mar 09, 2009 5:55 pm

Nice to see this poem again in its revised form, Gary, and to see your enthusiasm for stretching and growing.
Jan Ackerson

Previous

Return to Jan's Writing Basics

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 4 guests

cron

© MeasurelessMedia. All rights reservedTerms of Service



Jesus - True for You But not for Me      Website Builder     Build Website     Is Jesus God?    
Does God exist?     Build a writers website     Does truth exist?     Website online in minutes