Being an editor, I know exactly what you mean Edd. Until you develop a thick hide, it can be really hard not to take it personally--but an editor should never make demands, as such.
If you really can't see any benefit from making a change, and it isn't your publisher saying that a change has to be made, then you are definitely free to rework the editor's suggestion to something you feel more comfortable with. Weigh everything up carefully though. Their experience may be able to see something that you, being very close to your work, may have missed.
The big key, though, is to realize that they are working with you--not against you, and the goal of both of you is to present the manuscript in its best light. Keep in mind that every author needs to be edited--even the very best, so if changes are recommended, don't think it means you have made a mistake or are a poor writer. It's just giving your work that finishing touch.
Believe me, we see a lot of self-published books for review here at FaithWriters, and probably 60% of them would have benefited greatly from being edited. The other 40% probably knew that and made sure they were edited before going to the expense of publishing.