by aussiegal » Tue Nov 17, 2009 11:24 pm
Just because you do not see the answer to some of your prayers, do not give up. Just make sure you have asked for the right things.
I asked to prosper financially, and found that He couldn't do it, because I was a tightwad and covetous.
I asked for a husband, and when I got one I dicovered that I acted mean and selfish way more than I was loving and kind.
I wanted to be healed, yet rarely gave thought to those around me who were suffering more.
So I ask, what should I pray for, and how should I pray.
The question has taken me down the back alleys and twists and turns of my own soul.
I believe God heals. I know He provides. I know all of His promises are true.
So why was I sick. Why always short of money. Why all the problems.
The long answer is in the book I have not written yet.
The short answer is that He does want to give me all these things. But I am not ready nor able to receive them. Not with the sins I allow and justify in my life. Not when I do so much of the explicit things He said not to. Like lying, gossiping, complaining, letting fear control me?
How can He give me more when I am not grateful for what I already have?
My right arm hurts for sure, but my left arm and the rest of me is fine. My head aches, yes, but I can walk and see and hear just fine.
I may not have a million bucks, but I do have some money. I can give. I have time and energy to do something for someone besides myself.
So now in my prayers I ask for grace to "die", to make room for the Holy Spirit to invade me with love. Stretch me to increase my capacity to not only receive but to listen more, hear more, give more, for His glory and for His praise.
