FaithWriters.com-Christian Writers Forum

Help please...what is the proper way to show someone speaking and quoting another.

For instance:

Jo then replied, "The other day Ann told me, 'Get going.'"

Right, wrong?

Also, someone speaking to themselves but not out loud, or a thought.

For instance:

Jo thought to herself, 'Is that the proper way?'

Right, wrong?

How go these?

Doing some personal editing and could use the help there.

Jo, I think Ann's on vacation, so I'll tackle this one.

You're right about the quote within a quote. Single quotation marks for the internal quote, just as you've done it. The example you've given is technically correct, but it might be better to just write "...Ann told me to get going."

For thoughts, however, it's best to use italics. Thus:

Jan thought, I hope Ben doesn't notice that I ate the last piece of pie.

A side note--avoid using the phrase "Jan thought to herself". It's redundant--who else could Jan think to? Just use "Jan thought". Better still, think of alternatives to the dialog tags altogether. Thus:

Jan brushed a few crumbs from her lap. I hope Ben doesn't notice that I ate the last piece of pie.

I had to laugh when I read this because I have been doing more editing today when I ran across the times I used, "Sarah thought to herself". I caught that and said to myself that of course it was to herself. Just say, "Sarah thought". Now here it is. How funny.

I'm a detailed gal and do have to watch that, and similar situations.

Thanks for the info on the quotes within a quote. Been a long time since I've been in school but thought that was how I learned it, and will look to make use of your suggestion on rephrasing.

Seeing your knowledge and the value of your expertise I now hope to get your opinion on something else, or anyone else that may have feedback for that matter.

I'll put it on a separate thread so others that may need help there can find it within the title displayed.

Geesh, although I generally try and use correct grammar and sentence structure, I generally don't give it too much emphasis when I am just communicating, but seeing how sharp you are there I felt the pressure...oh the pressure. I can hold my own (me thinks) but not a quizz kid there. At least if I thought so before, not so much anymore. May have to spend more time on this end.