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Posted: Thu May 27, 2010 12:41 pm
by honeyrock
Oh, yes, I see! and I wont tell you how long I fiddled with that phrase! Your encouragements mean the world! And the story was a "snippet" I actually lived to tell about - :lol:

Posted: Thu May 27, 2010 5:35 pm
by lthomas
No homework from me yet, Jan. But in response to your question regarding building a good short story, I've read that most readers will get through the first 4/5 of the story only to be let down by the conclusion.

I don't know why this is, possibly it's due to poor plotting, not really having the elements of a beginning and a middle that builds to a meaningful climax. Maybe the ending is too convenient (the MC awoke to find it was all only a dream) or simply too predictable.

As you are pointing out the importance of grammar, punctuation, dialogue and characters, I think such things as poor plotting can ruin a good story just as easily.

Loren

Posted: Thu May 27, 2010 6:26 pm
by glorybee
Thanks, Loren! I wholeheartedly agree, and I'll be covering plotting in more detail in the coming weeks.

Posted: Sat May 29, 2010 3:02 pm
by eireann
Jan, what I want to know is:
a)Did you go to the store?
b) Did you get your chocolate cake?
c) Was it delicious?
:mrgreen:

Posted: Sat May 29, 2010 3:08 pm
by glorybee
Sally, the answer to all of your questions is no, accampanied by a pout.

Posted: Sat May 29, 2010 7:56 pm
by Amanda1991
Since joining Faithwriters, I've been working a lot on showing rather than telling. I think that sometimes, describing a character's thoughts can be necessary in telling a story. (Which should be done very carefully.) However, most of what needs to be conveyed can be done better in showing -- especially in a Writing Challenge entry.

Also, "showing" allows the reader to think for themselves rather have every detail explained to them. It engages them, urging them to fit together pieces of a puzzle by examining the actions and dialogue of the characters. Which makes the story more fun for the writer and the reader. :mrgreen:

Sentence structure has always been a pet peeve of mine. In my writing, as I'm proofreading, if I discover that a certain sentence structure has been overused, I try to shake it up a bit.

This is an invaluable lesson! I find that although I somehow made it to Advanced (by God's grace), I need to work on all the topics that you covered as much as anyone. ;)

Show not tell

Posted: Wed Jun 02, 2010 7:34 pm
by WriterFearNot
Tell:

Shark Boy didn't know it yet, but he was in love with Lava Girl and would soon wish to spend an eternity with her.

Show:
Raging bursts of flame flowed from Lava Girl's palms. Shark boy had seen this before, but this time it was different.

"You saved me," he said, not willing to remove his eyes from hers. His stomach was fluttery and he couldn't shake the feeling of wanting to stay near her. "I'm not sure what's happening to me," he said, "But I don't want it to end."

PS: The movie 'SharkBoy and LavaGirl' is playing on the tv in the background, so I kinda cheated here.

WFN :lol:

Re: Show not tell

Posted: Wed Jun 02, 2010 9:22 pm
by Amanda1991
WriterFearNot wrote:Tell:

Shark Boy didn't know it yet, but he was in love with Lava Girl and would soon wish to spend an eternity with her.

Show:
Raging bursts of flame flowed from Lava Girl's palms. Shark boy had seen this before, but this time it was different.

"You saved me," he said, not willing to remove his eyes from hers. His stomach was fluttery and he couldn't shake the feeling of wanting to stay near her. "I'm not sure what's happening to me," he said, "But I don't want it to end."

PS: The movie 'SharkBoy and LavaGirl' is playing on the tv in the background, so I kinda cheated here.

WFN :lol:
HaHa! I was gonna say, "Somebody likes kid superhero movies!" :D Great job with the showing rather than telling. Love it. 8)

Posted: Wed Jun 02, 2010 9:23 pm
by glorybee
Definitely showing, not telling. Am I showing my age if I tell you that I've never heard of Shark Girl and Lava Boy?

Sharkboy and Lavagirl

Posted: Wed Jun 02, 2010 9:41 pm
by WriterFearNot
Jan,

Consider yourself lucky, for never having seen or heard of this movie.

WFN :D

Posted: Thu Jun 03, 2010 1:25 am
by Amanda1991
Yeah, it was created based on a little boy's imagination, so it's extremely crazy. :D

Posted: Tue Jul 13, 2010 2:59 pm
by grandmalovesbabies
Telling: Laura was awake all night with her crying daughter. She was exhausted from walking the hall for hours.

Showing: Tripping over her bunny-slippered feet, Laura stopped to lean against the hallway wall. With little Susie still threshing in her arms, Laura squeezed the infant snuggly while heavy eyelids involuntarily closed.

Re: Show not tell

Posted: Tue Jul 13, 2010 3:01 pm
by grandmalovesbabies
Amanda1991 wrote:
WriterFearNot wrote:Tell:

Shark Boy didn't know it yet, but he was in love with Lava Girl and would soon wish to spend an eternity with her.

Show:
Raging bursts of flame flowed from Lava Girl's palms. Shark boy had seen this before, but this time it was different.

"You saved me," he said, not willing to remove his eyes from hers. His stomach was fluttery and he couldn't shake the feeling of wanting to stay near her. "I'm not sure what's happening to me," he said, "But I don't want it to end."

PS: The movie 'SharkBoy and LavaGirl' is playing on the tv in the background, so I kinda cheated here.

WFN :lol:
HaHa! I was gonna say, "Somebody likes kid superhero movies!" :D Great job with the showing rather than telling. Love it. 8)

FUNNY. The grandkids and I just watched this movie yesterday. I thought we were the only ones goofy enough to enjoy it. Glad to see there are other strange folks out there too.

Re: #13--The Well-Crafted Short Story

Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2011 8:55 pm
by FirstLove
:shock: Oh, my...reading through these posts...I have so much to LEARN. Well, i'm just going to continue entering the Writer's Challenge, and expect to learn from them. If i wait to write until I know more, I'll be 90 before I enter another challenge. :book2

:(

Love,
Debbie

Thanks for all these interesting posts!

Re: #13--The Well-Crafted Short Story

Posted: Sun May 01, 2011 5:15 am
by FirstLove
After writing for my third challenge, I am back to learn some more...

Perusing these lessons helped me refine my second challenge entry!

I love reading these threads!

So helpful!
:bow
Love,
Debbie