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Jan's Poetry Class--TRIOLET

These lessons, by one of our most consistent FaithWriters' Challenge Champions, should not be missed. So we're making a permanent home for them here.

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CatLin
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Postby CatLin » Wed Nov 25, 2009 10:34 pm

Here's my 5-minute attempt...

Darkness suffocates my heart
Threatening to do me in
Soul and marrow torn apart
Darkness suffocates my heart
Poison dealt by Satan’s dart
I hear voices; demon’s din
Darkness suffocates my heart
Threatening to do me in



I think I got the rhymes and repeats right? I left it unpunctuated (except for the lone semi-colon). I couldn't figure out where the sentence breaks should be. And as you can see, I'm feeling just a wee bit down.

(PS: I thought "triolet" rhymed with "toilet" until I looked closer at the word. :roll: :lol:)
Catrina Bradley
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Scattered Seeds
Jewels of Encouragement

"God rewrote the text of my life when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes." Psalm 18:24 (The Message)

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Allison
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Postby Allison » Wed Nov 25, 2009 10:43 pm

CatLin wrote:Here's my 5-minute attempt...

Darkness suffocates my heart
Threatening to do me in
Soul and marrow torn apart
Darkness suffocates my heart
Poison dealt by Satan’s dart
I hear voices; demon’s din
Darkness suffocates my heart
Threatening to do me in



I think I got the rhymes and repeats right? I left it unpunctuated (except for the lone semi-colon). I couldn't figure out where the sentence breaks should be. And as you can see, I'm feeling just a wee bit down.

(PS: I thought "triolet" rhymed with "toilet" until I looked closer at the word. :roll: :lol:)


Don't worry. You are not the only one. And now I can't get the "toilet" version out of my head. :lol: :roll:

*hug* I like this, even though it does have a bit of a dark/sad tone to it.
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Isaiah 40:30-31 (NIV)

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CatLin
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Postby CatLin » Wed Nov 25, 2009 10:51 pm

Ok, this is how I will feel tomorrow cuz I know it's true ....
(I'm finding triolets as addictive as haikus) :D

The morning sings with joy abounding
God is on His throne
Creation’s beauty is astounding
The morning sings with joy abounding
God's kindness, mercy, love – confounding
His heart I call my home
The morning sings with joy abounding
God is on His throne
Catrina Bradley
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"God rewrote the text of my life when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes." Psalm 18:24 (The Message)

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pheeweed
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Postby pheeweed » Thu Nov 26, 2009 9:09 am

Catrina,
I love it!
Phee
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"And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise." Philippians 4:8 NLT

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Postby glorybee » Mon Nov 30, 2009 7:11 pm

Oh Cat, am I ever glad you nudged me in this direction!

I've definitely felt both ways in my lifetime, and these triolets both capture the different emotions perfectly. I really like them both, but the second one is very appealing both for its content and its lines with varied lengths. It just really "works" for me.

Now--scoot over and write a villanelle!

p.s.--I snorted at the "rhymes with toilet" bit.
Jan Ackerson

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beff
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Postby beff » Wed Dec 09, 2009 10:54 am

glorybee wrote:I'd love to see you do a chain of triolets for one of your charming story poems. Yes?


I combined poetic forms for this challenge entry

The Farmer and His Ladye

I probably wouldn't have tried this without your challenge.. :)
Beth LaBuff

..in these last days He has spoken to us by His Son... Hebrews 1:2

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yvonne
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Postby yvonne » Wed Dec 09, 2009 9:34 pm

Are you taking a break this week?

I've been so busy I forgot to look until today. (Wed.)

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glorybee
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Postby glorybee » Wed Dec 09, 2009 9:39 pm

Yeah, and maybe through the rest of the year. Too much Christmas stuff going on. I'll post something soon.
Jan Ackerson

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Postby yvonne » Wed Dec 09, 2009 9:40 pm

Good!

It's hard to concentrate right now. :roll:

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the wild geese

Postby OldManRivers » Thu Dec 10, 2009 9:06 pm

the wild geese

sometimes I can hear the wild geese passing by,
high above, far beyond, somewhere there in the morning mist,
here in the melancholy of the wistful why,
sometimes I can hear the wild geese passing by,
here where old men and dreams do come to cry,
here where old hearts are once more kissed,
sometimes I can hear the wild geese passing by,
high above, far beyond, somewhere there in the morning mist.
May God's gentle grace be with you.

Jim McWhinnie

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Postby OldManRivers » Tue Dec 15, 2009 10:31 pm

I started out trying to write a Shakespearean sonnet but somehow lost my way, so I suppose I shall name this NEW FORM, an Ackermanian sonnet.

in barley fields of honey-gold


walk on we must, through painful, lonely nights,
candles melting, drop by drop, upon the floor,
as step by step, we make our way through wispy lights,
searching, searching, always searching for that something more,
that haunting, chilling mist that drifts in from unknown realms of time,
upon the silent shore, this fearful, fitful, frayed frontier,
here as frosted winds blow in from failure's wintry clime,
still I walk on, in search of summer warmth, though still so far from here.
the miles, the days, the sands that fall, become but traces of my life,
coming, going, one by one, in the ebb and flow of joy, despair,
through trial and glory, rain and fire, sweet victory and strife,
I make my way to that great somewhere, where angels dare,
to romp in barley fields of honey-gold,
to be forever young and old, forever young and old.
May God's gentle grace be with you.

Jim McWhinnie

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semmie
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Postby semmie » Thu Dec 17, 2009 1:01 pm

Mmk.

I actually learned about Triolets earlier this year, but I didn't take the time to attempt writing any.

Now I remember why. :shock:

I stink at this game.
let mercy lead
let love be the strength in your legs
and with every footprint that you leave
there'll be a drop of grace

~Rich Mullins

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Postby semmie » Sun Dec 20, 2009 12:56 pm

Okay, Okay...I told you I stink at this game, and I know I'm late to the party...but once I saw this thread, I just HAD to try. Here's what I came up with. No eye-rolling at my lameness.

Triolet Attempt #1:
Absent fathers lose their daughters.
Daughters lose their confidence,
chasing mythic, fairy-fathers.
Absent fathers lose their daughters.

Even though they say "it's not her,"
she can't find her innocence.
Absent fathers lose their daughters.
Daughters lose their confidence.


Triolet Attempt #2:
She graces upon us with mem'ries unbidden,
tender and welcome. And warm
upon our cold hearts are the moments we've hidden.
She graces upon us with mem'ries unbidden

with laughter and tales of a love long forbidden,
stubborn to weather life's storm.
She graces upon us with mem'ries unbidden,
tender and welcome and warm.
let mercy lead
let love be the strength in your legs
and with every footprint that you leave
there'll be a drop of grace

~Rich Mullins

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Postby OldManRivers » Thu Dec 24, 2009 2:58 pm

Jan, is there a name for this rhyme scheme?

abcbcdadefef



the midnight watch


Upon these seas, we chart our course,

by the howling wind, through the briny air,

above the fathoms and through the waves,

in stormy tempest and weather fair,

to a savage mistress we are bondaged slaves,

born to serve her constant need,

to weep her tears of doom's remorse,

her Siren's call we must give heed,

she beckons from realms beyond our sight,

her ghastly fire does dance the mast,

she screams her horrors in moonless light,

into the darkness, the devil's darkness, our fate is cast.
May God's gentle grace be with you.

Jim McWhinnie

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