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Jan's Poetry Class--ACROSTIC

These lessons, by one of our most consistent FaithWriters' Challenge Champions, should not be missed. So we're making a permanent home for them here.

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glorybee
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Postby glorybee » Wed Nov 11, 2009 11:47 am

Wonderful, Henry! Very moving, with haunting images. The pillow that's cool on both sides put a lump in my throat.
Jan Ackerson

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Postby pheeweed » Wed Nov 11, 2009 11:10 pm

It's getting harder. What am I going to do when you get to epic poetry?

The hardest part of this poem was trying to find a word that started with the right letter but still conveyed the meaning I wanted. I'm not sure why I opted for rhyme, since that's so hard for me. And the meter is all over the place. But I hope it's good for a laugh.

Conor was a small boy.
His mama’s pride and joy.
Only she thought that maybe
Conor was still a baby.
On the potty he refused to sit;
Laughing, he would not submit.
All her bribes he rejected,
Till one day, unexpected,
Everything came out all right for chocolate!


I also tried a more serious one, which was easier because it doesn't have rhyme or rhythm.

Glorious flowers bloom
As
Roots grow
Deep
Excellence requires
Nourishment

Phee
Phee
A friend of the Bridegroom

http://www.delightedmeditations.blogspot.com

"And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise." Philippians 4:8 NLT

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Postby GShuler » Thu Nov 12, 2009 3:33 am

I know I usually write fun, light fluff but please forgive me this time. My wife just passed away and this is the only time I plan on giving in to writing how I feel. Funny can come later.

The main thing I was trying to do was let the acrostic answer the question in the first line.

Climbing Out

Climbing out... can it be done?
Letting depression keep its hold on me,
I am intangled in the depths of futility and dispair,
more miserable than I thought possible
before my love got swallowed
in the bowels of disease and unavoidable death.
Nobody cared, nobody cares,
God, am I left alone at such a time?

Once upon a time I trusted You;
until she died.
There is now little left in me with which to trust.

I know, Lord. Deep inside I truly know
the coldness I feel has also been felt by others.

Cancer taunts and teases even those of faith
and, when least able to stand strong,
nudges the weakened faithful into doubting Your love.

But doubt was not in You, Lord... I fought only myself.
Each bout of faithlessness blinded me from the truth.

Depression’s lies tried to hide how much You truly care.
Only Your love, Lord, can sustain me in my sorrow,
neutralizing every negative and pulling me from the mire.
Eagerly, Lord, I rush back to your arms to be loved.
I had something really memorable to write here but I forgot what it was.
Gerald Shuler

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Postby violin4jesus » Thu Nov 12, 2009 3:50 am

Sorry to hear of your loss, Gerald. I have wondered where you have been and now I understand. Praying for peace and comfort for you and your family. :cry:

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Postby yvonne » Thu Nov 12, 2009 7:18 am

So sorry, Gerald (((hugs)))

It's a beautiful poem...I could feel the heart cry to the Lord.

You have some loving friends here, to help with that "climbing out."
:grouphug

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Postby glorybee » Thu Nov 12, 2009 7:18 am

Nice job, Phee! You get the gold star this week, for stretching, stretching, stretching!
Jan Ackerson

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Postby glorybee » Thu Nov 12, 2009 7:20 am

Gerald, my heart goes out to you, and I pray that you'll soon feel the reality of the last two lines of your heartfelt psalm.
Jan Ackerson

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Postby pheeweed » Thu Nov 12, 2009 8:19 am

Gerald,
My prayers are with you too. I can't imagine the pain you're feeling.
Phee
Phee
A friend of the Bridegroom

http://www.delightedmeditations.blogspot.com

"And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise." Philippians 4:8 NLT

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Postby itsjoanne » Thu Nov 12, 2009 9:53 am

Also praying, Jerry my friend. Beautiful piece. We're here for you, my friend.

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Postby Allison » Thu Nov 12, 2009 9:44 pm

Okay. Here's one I just wrote.

Redeemed, how I love to proclaim it,
Evermore my Savior and Lord
Delivered me from the grips of sin.
Emmanuel, with me now and forever
Evening fell that blessed night
Mercy came in the form of the infant Child.
Eternal father, I think you. I am
Redeemed. Forever.


I'm not thrilled with the fact that I'm "stealing" from a hymn for the first line, but it was the first thing that popped in my head when I thought of the word. I may try another one or two later. :)
Image
Isaiah 40:30-31 (NIV)

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Postby swfdoc1 » Thu Nov 12, 2009 10:35 pm

Gerald, I am so sorry for your loss.

It prompted me to think of my own wife and her many sacrifices on my behalf and to write an acrostic for her. So I will follow Poe and lots of love-sick teenagers and write an embarrassing love poem. (Fortunately, my wife has a short name.)

Darling, Darling, Donna, delight of all my days
One and only love of all my life, let me tell
Now the world how blessed by your blessed love I am.
Not seeking self’s best wish, but mine, through life’s long maze.
Always sacrificing your plans, your goals, your ways.

Each line has two parts, a trochaic trimeter followed by an iambic trimeter. There are more substitutions in the iambic part than in the trochaic part. Rhyme: a,b,c,a,a
Steve
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"When the Round Table is broken every man must follow Galahad or Mordred; middle
things are gone." C.S. Lewis
“The chief purpose of life … is to increase according to our capacity our knowledge of God by all the means we have, and to be moved by it to praise and thanks. To do as we say in the Gloria in Excelsis ... We praise you, we call you holy, we worship you, we proclaim your glory, we thank you for the greatness of your splendor.” J.R.R. Tolkien

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Postby glorybee » Thu Nov 12, 2009 11:15 pm

Allison wrote:Okay. Here's one I just wrote.

Redeemed, how I love to proclaim it,
Evermore my Savior and Lord
Delivered me from the grips of sin.
Emmanuel, with me now and forever
Evening fell that blessed night
Mercy came in the form of the infant Child.
Eternal father, I think you. I am
Redeemed. Forever.




Lovely, Allison! And thanks for the reminder of that wonderful old hymn!
Jan Ackerson

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Postby glorybee » Thu Nov 12, 2009 11:17 pm

swfdoc1 wrote:Darling, Darling, Donna, delight of all my days
One and only love of all my life, let me tell
Now the world how blessed by your blessed love I am.
Not seeking self’s best wish, but mine, through life’s long maze.
Always sacrificing your plans, your goals, your ways.


Steve, thanks for this--I sincerely hope you've given this to her!
Jan Ackerson

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swfdoc1
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Postby swfdoc1 » Thu Nov 12, 2009 11:33 pm

glorybee wrote:Steve, thanks for this--I sincerely hope you've given this to her!


Oh, yes!
Steve
nlf.net
________
"When the Round Table is broken every man must follow Galahad or Mordred; middle
things are gone." C.S. Lewis
“The chief purpose of life … is to increase according to our capacity our knowledge of God by all the means we have, and to be moved by it to praise and thanks. To do as we say in the Gloria in Excelsis ... We praise you, we call you holy, we worship you, we proclaim your glory, we thank you for the greatness of your splendor.” J.R.R. Tolkien

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Pat
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Postby Pat » Fri Nov 13, 2009 9:47 am

I too, have wondered Gerald -- you have been missed and my heart goes out to you.

And you know, God is not only there when you turn to Him -- He's there even when you don't. His arms are around you even as you struggle against Him. Nothing you do or say will make Him turn away.

We are the ones haunted by the images of pain and suffering of our loved one -- they no longer remember and are alive and free, and feel a wonderful healthy beyond our comprehension.

Fast forward your heart and mind to the day when all this is over and we too, no longer remember and all things are new. That day is really going to happen Gerald.


Now is not reality of,
Eternity beyond,
When all things are new … forever.


Prayers and hugs,
Pat

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