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Jan's Poetry Class--LIMERICK

These lessons, by one of our most consistent FaithWriters' Challenge Champions, should not be missed. So we're making a permanent home for them here.

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kahoosbt
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Postby kahoosbt » Mon Nov 02, 2009 5:40 pm

Okay... Here's my silly limerick. A true story, by the way.

Between submitting an entry to the Page Turner contest, doing a challenge entry (my first in weeks), a Clerihew and preparing for NaNoWriMo, I was on a bit of writerly overload and wanted to do something different before all of the NaNo craziness started up. So on Saturday, hubby and I went on a photo expedition. And, well, the limerick tells it from there...

A writer who too much had writ
Tried to clear her head just a bit.
So she drove to a bay
Watched pelicans all day,
Then said penguins she saw--what a twit!

:roll: :oops:

I got some great photos, btw! Of pelicans, that is. :rolling

Okay...that was my silliness break. Back to NaNo... 8)

Shelley
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Postby Kid Denver » Mon Nov 02, 2009 5:59 pm

There was a Prez named Obama,
who made big banks go, "Oh Mama!" :shock:
They said, "We need money." :roll:
"How much?" said the dumby. :wink:
"Twelve figures around four commas." 8)

- Henry (I repent) :oops:
Whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men,... Col. 3:23

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Postby CatLin » Mon Nov 02, 2009 7:08 pm

Here are a couple originals (finally) for my homework. Writing limericks is a great poetry (and brain) exercise!


There was an old man from McDonough
Who once nodded off in the sauna
When he finally awoke
What he saw made him choke
He was sure he had turned part iguana

(to make the meter work in the 3rd line above, you have to say "finally" like you live in the South - "finely". ;))



I flinch when I’m off in my meter
Inaccurate rhymes must be neater!
Then Miss Jan comes along
And she says that’s all wrong
If your Clerihew is to be sweeter.
Catrina Bradley
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Postby CatLin » Mon Nov 02, 2009 7:16 pm

Oh, snap. I was writing by "ear" and just now counted my syllables. I see I have one too many in the last line of both limericks!

(edit to say - "Oh, snap." isn't in my usual vocabulary, but I'm watching "My Name Is Earl" - Joy says it all of the time, and it must have been sticking in my subconscious. :D)
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Postby OldManRivers » Mon Nov 02, 2009 7:20 pm

I once met a girl from Shanghai,
who was pretty and lovely and shy,
but when I gave her a kiss,
her lips I did miss,
and I ended up kissing her eye.

Ah, such poetry!
May God's gentle grace be with you.

Jim McWhinnie

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Postby yvonne » Mon Nov 02, 2009 7:37 pm

OldManRivers wrote:I once met a girl from Shanghai,
who was pretty and lovely and shy,
but when I gave her a kiss,
her lips I did miss,
and I ended up kissing her eye.

Ah, such poetry!



HA HA HA... :heehee
This one made me laugh out loud!

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Postby glorybee » Mon Nov 02, 2009 7:41 pm

kahoosbt wrote:A writer who too much had writ
Tried to clear her head just a bit.
So she drove to a bay
Watched pelicans all day,
Then said penguins she saw--what a twit!


Shelley, that's funny! We'd love to see your pictures of peng...I mean, pelicans.

What about this slight tweak for a more limerick-y meter?

A writer who too much had write
Tried to clear out her head just a bit
So she drove to a bay
And watched pelicans play
Then said penguins she saw--what a twit!

Notice very minor changes in lines 2 and 5.
Jan Ackerson

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Postby glorybee » Mon Nov 02, 2009 8:02 pm

Kid Denver wrote:There was a Prez named Obama,
who made big banks go, "Oh Mama!" :shock:
They said, "We need money." :roll:
"How much?" said the dumby. :wink:
"Twelve figures around four commas." 8)

- Henry (I repent) :oops:


Oh, Henry! I'm biting my tongue, because this is so funny--but I really, really want to avoid political commentary on my poetry threads. I just find politics and poetry to be strange bedfellows...almost antithetical to each other, yes?

With that in mind, and your promise not to do it again, I'd propose the following minor changes (keeping in mind that people "scan" their own poetry in different ways, as Steven reminded us as few lessons ago).

There once was a Prez named Obama
Who made the big banks go "Oh, mama!"
They said, "We need money"
"How much?" said the dumby
"Twelve figures surrounding four commas."

I added a syllable each to lines 1, 2, and 5--I think they scan better. What say you?

Oh--anyone who can rhyme "Obama" so exquisitely deserves this week's gold star, despite the political commentary.
Jan Ackerson

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Postby glorybee » Mon Nov 02, 2009 8:06 pm

CatLin wrote:Here are a couple originals (finally) for my homework. Writing limericks is a great poetry (and brain) exercise!


There was an old man from McDonough
Who once nodded off in the sauna
When he finally awoke
What he saw made him choke
He was sure he had turned part iguana

(to make the meter work in the 3rd line above, you have to say "finally" like you live in the South - "finely". ;))



I flinch when I’m off in my meter
Inaccurate rhymes must be neater!
Then Miss Jan comes along
And she says that’s all wrong
If your Clerihew is to be sweeter.


Catrina, these are adorable, and your meter is fine. Limericks are a little bit more flexible in the meter department than some other forms (watch out when we get to sonnets!)
Jan Ackerson

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Postby glorybee » Mon Nov 02, 2009 8:07 pm

OldManRivers wrote:I once met a girl from Shanghai,
who was pretty and lovely and shy,
but when I gave her a kiss,
her lips I did miss,
and I ended up kissing her eye.

Ah, such poetry!


So deep! So meaingful! So life-changing!

So funny, anyway...
Jan Ackerson

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Postby glorybee » Mon Nov 02, 2009 8:20 pm

Oh! Oh! I just remembered some very silly limericks that I wrote for a college class on Children's Literature.

The first two were my attempt to rhyme unusual words. In the first, I picked the triplet to feature fun rhymes, and in the second, I picked the couplet.

A charming young lady from Glasgow
Tried seasoning her tea with Tabasco.
She flavored the beef
With a large hemlock leaf
So the meal was quite a fiasco.

A painter was feeling quite ill,
But his doctor would not give a pill.
So in the gazebo
He took a placebo
Mixed up in a cupful of swill.


And in these last two, I played with "eye rhymes" in line 5.

A certain young man named Jerome,
When touring in Paris and Rome,
Said, "Of richness in art,
Fine culture, and heart,
Only London is the epitome."

There once was a wise antelope
Who mailed a pink envelope.
It was addressed, they say
In the usual way--
To his "deer" girlfriend named Penelope.


Anyone care to kick your limericks up a notch, and try for some similar wordplay?
Jan Ackerson

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Postby Kid Denver » Mon Nov 02, 2009 8:41 pm

Yes, but I thought we were writing limericks?

I had "Once" in my original, but I edited it out; didn't want any political commentary in it. I'll behave. In fact, I entered something for "White" just to stay sane; not that I mind the fun stuff. And, I do not believe it is political... that should be good for two yellow boxes with question marks and a 100th place finish. Thanks for straightening (re-scanning) me out again. I hate it when my scan gets out of whack.
So, I guess I can't do my limerick on Biden? THat went into hidin', when from Alaska came Palin ... Okay, I'll quit. Good night.

glorybee wrote:
Kid Denver wrote:There was a Prez named Obama,
who made big banks go, "Oh Mama!" :shock:
They said, "We need money." :roll:
"How much?" said the dumby. :wink:
"Twelve figures around four commas." 8)

- Henry (I repent) :oops:


Oh, Henry! I'm biting my tongue, because this is so funny--but I really, really want to avoid political commentary on my poetry threads. I just find politics and poetry to be strange bedfellows...almost antithetical to each other, yes?
With that in mind, and your promise not to do it again, I'd propose the following minor changes (keeping in mind that people "scan" their own poetry in different ways, as Steven reminded us as few lessons ago).

There once was a Prez named Obama
Who made the big banks go "Oh, mama!"
They said, "We need money"
"How much?" said the dumby
"Twelve figures surrounding four commas."

I added a syllable each to lines 1, 2, and 5--I think they scan better. What say you?

Oh--anyone who can rhyme "Obama" so exquisitely deserves this week's gold star, despite the political commentary.
Whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men,... Col. 3:23

My Member Profile Page: http://www.faithwriters.com/member-profile.php?id=27052

My Blog: The Underside of Green: http://henryclemmonspoet.blogspot.com/

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Postby kahoosbt » Mon Nov 02, 2009 10:56 pm

glorybee wrote:Shelley, that's funny! We'd love to see your pictures of peng...I mean, pelicans.

What about this slight tweak for a more limerick-y meter?

A writer who too much had write
Tried to clear out her head just a bit
So she drove to a bay
And watched pelicans play
Then said penguins she saw--what a twit!

Notice very minor changes in lines 2 and 5.


Ooh! That is better! I knew line 4, especially, didn't fit the stressed / unstressed recommendation well, but I couldn't figure out how to get around that and still use the word "pelican". I like your tweak! :D

And since you asked... :mrgreen:

Here are a few peng...er, I mean pelican photos. (Those with white heads are adults...the brown headed one is still in juvenile feathering.)

Image

Image

Image

Image

Shelley
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2009 FaithWriters Page Turner Contest Runner Up

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Postby swfdoc1 » Mon Nov 02, 2009 11:23 pm

Wow! Those are great. My avatar used to be a pelican. Maybe I'll change back. Or maybe I can photoshop a pelican in front of the family.
Steve
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“The chief purpose of life … is to increase according to our capacity our knowledge of God by all the means we have, and to be moved by it to praise and thanks. To do as we say in the Gloria in Excelsis ... We praise you, we call you holy, we worship you, we proclaim your glory, we thank you for the greatness of your splendor.” J.R.R. Tolkien

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Postby Symphonic » Mon Nov 02, 2009 11:46 pm

Wow... fantastic pelican pictures!

Limericks are hard... or maybe I'm just focusing all my creativity on my November novel (yes, I know that's not an original excuse! :)).

Anyway, here's my attempt, dedicated to our east-side-of-the-Metroplex neighbors who like to live WAY north of the city center... despite the horrible traffic:

There was a young woman named Alice
Who worked in a city called Dallas.
She rose each day at five
And braved two-hour drives
To live in a Plano McPalace.


Carol S.
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