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Posted: Sun Oct 11, 2009 5:25 pm
by glorybee
CherieAnn wrote:This is my first Jan's class! And my first haiku since elementary school. We'll see how it goes....


Fields of yellow orange
North Dakota sunflowers
Standing tall as me.


"Orange" is one syllable where I'm from, so I think that's acceptable.
And here is my silly one; it breaks the ryhming rule and (I think)the subjective:

I would like to rhyme
Me a silly little line
And I hope that's fine!
Both of these are excellent, Cherie! I love the image in the first one, and of course, I always love a bit of silliness! Can't want to see what you have to write for the next class!

Haiku - The Mountain River

Posted: Sun Oct 11, 2009 9:54 pm
by OldManRivers
sparkling diamonds,
drift by as liquid laughter,
cool and blue, she flows.

Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 3:09 am
by Chely
Sliding into my seat moments before the final bell...

Glad to see you back, Mrs. A :wink:

Here's my attempt at the assignment:

Wind whips, willows bend,

whispering soliloquies,

extolling His Son.

Re: Haiku - The Mountain River

Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 7:23 am
by glorybee
OldManRivers wrote:sparkling diamonds,
drift by as liquid laughter,
cool and blue, she flows.
Jim, that's beautiful! Perfect haiku form, and a bit of personification, and a lovely image.

Thanks for popping by!

Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 7:24 am
by glorybee
Chely wrote: Wind whips, willows bend,

whispering soliloquies,

extolling His Son.
Oh, Chely, so pretty! I love the alliteration of the "W" sounds, suggesting the wind, and the use of "soliloquies", such a gorgeous word.

Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 11:41 am
by Jer2911
Here is my attempt if it's not to late.

Under the trees shade
I feel the cool summer breeze
writing this Haiku

Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 11:45 am
by glorybee
Jer2911 wrote:Here is my attempt if it's not to late.

Under the trees shade
I feel the cool summer breeze
writing this Haiku
Hey, Jer (is that what I should call you?), welcome!

Not too late at all...there's no tardy bell in this class.

I love the fact that this haiku is self-referential...gives it a little "zinger" at the end. And it fits all the other criteria; syllable count is correct, you mention nature, no rhyming...

Only thing I'd do is add an apostrophe to "tree's".

Thanks for popping in! I've started the next thread--quatrain. Hope to see you there!

Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 11:16 pm
by CatLin
Since I've been working on a few Haiku's, I thought I'd go ahead and post them. Besides, what else am I going to do with them? (Do I get extra credit? :wink:)


smokey autumn air
red flames nibbling at darkness
camp fires dot the night


Glistening turquoise
roils into foaming whitecaps,
crests, curls, crashes ebbs.


Like a bolt of lightning
Your Holy Spirit pierces
Illuminating

Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 11:25 pm
by glorybee
Sure, Catrina, you can have extra credit. You're the haiku queen! These are marvelous!

Posted: Tue Oct 13, 2009 2:46 pm
by beff
sneaking in here... :)

a common sight here in Arizona--

Updraft, funnel, wind
Faux treacherous appearance
Benign dust devil

Posted: Tue Oct 13, 2009 3:21 pm
by glorybee
Beth, that's a good one!

Just a suggestion: the "faux" in the 2nd line gives away the "punch" in the 3rd. Can you add a different 7th syllable?

I'd love to visit Arizona some day; it's COLD here in Michigan already!

Posted: Tue Oct 13, 2009 3:51 pm
by Allison
Pine trees green with white
First snowfall of the season
Cool crisp air bites me

And now... for all the "sickies" out there...

Cough and cough some more
Let's add to the symphony
Blowing noses. Honk!

Posted: Tue Oct 13, 2009 3:54 pm
by glorybee
Very good, Allison--and I'm so sorry you're sick. Your haiku are great; I love the image of the air "biting".

How about wandering over to "quatrain" and trying your hand at one of those?

Now, stay away from me.

Posted: Thu Oct 15, 2009 1:23 am
by GShuler
I know these shouldn't rhyme but is internal rhyming taboo as well?


I see you flying
in defiance of science.
Stay free, Bumblebee.

This one is just for fun:

Don't count your chickens
while they are still in the egg...
they may be guineas.

Posted: Thu Oct 15, 2009 1:21 pm
by beff
glorybee wrote:Beth, that's a good one!

Just a suggestion: the "faux" in the 2nd line gives away the "punch" in the 3rd. Can you add a different 7th syllable?

I'd love to visit Arizona some day; it's COLD here in Michigan already!
yes, you're right, I gave away the "punch" :) ...

we'd love to have you visit AZ! ... we're high desert, so not quite as warm as Phoenix though..