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Jan's Master Class--REPETITION

These lessons, by one of our most consistent FaithWriters' Challenge Champions, should not be missed. So we're making a permanent home for them here.

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glorybee
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Postby glorybee » Fri Jan 16, 2009 12:51 pm

Oh Loren, I remember that one so well! What an awesome, beautiful piece of writing, and the repetition is a big part of that.

How did you feel once you'd written it? Did it feel to you like you'd done something very fine?
Jan Ackerson

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Postby lthomas » Fri Jan 16, 2009 2:15 pm

glorybee wrote:Oh Loren, I remember that one so well! What an awesome, beautiful piece of writing, and the repetition is a big part of that.

How did you feel once you'd written it? Did it feel to you like you'd done something very fine?


Thanks, Jan, that means a lot!

How did I feel? First, I must admit I felt it came through me and not from me, Yet, I also felt, in my own way, I had expressed as best I could, my belief in love's endurance - best expressed in this line:
Love shall be our legacy, can there be a greater gift to leave behind that others might say we loved and loved greatly. We will have left this world a better place in that we shared our love in the ordering of our common lifes

It is strange, but when I re-read the entire piece, it speaks and reaffirms some emberetic (my word from ember) conviction in my heart as if somewhere hidden within the phrases and lines, lies a wonderful truth spiritually revealed.

And, I can't help but think, by reading some of the replies, that others feel that conviction as well. A writer could not be more blessed.

Loren
"And this, our life, exempt from public haunt, finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, sermons in stones, and good in everything." From "As You Like It." Wm. Shakespeare.

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Postby jodiebanner » Mon Jan 19, 2009 3:12 pm

I know I'm late for class, but I didn't know this class was back in business.

This poem I used "she" alot!!!! a good example of what not to do.

http://www.faithwriters.com/wc-article- ... p?id=21999

This one is a poetry form, i wish my mommy mush brain could remember what its called but it purposefully reuses the same six words in a set repetition. I really liked the form, repeating those words really made me think of the meanings of them , and how they affected me.

http://www.faithwriters.com/article-det ... p?id=78752
<i>"Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever!"</i> Psalm 107:1

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Postby glorybee » Mon Jan 19, 2009 3:16 pm

Jodie, I've got to disagree with you about your repetition of "She" in that first poem. It's charming, and adds to the mood of your poem.

And the other one is called a "sestina"--a very difficult poetic form! You did a great job with it. I really liked what you said about the repetition of those words really making you dwell on their meaings. That's EXACTLY what poetry is supposed to do.
Jan Ackerson

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Postby jodiebanner » Mon Jan 19, 2009 4:19 pm

Thats the word "sestina" Its been driving me nuts! Thanks.
<i>"Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever!"</i> Psalm 107:1

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Postby yvonne » Tue Jan 20, 2009 2:50 pm

I've been busy this last few weeks with my new grandbaby. It's thrown off my routine.

Here's my addition to this class:

"Walkin' on the Water"

Here's another one: (the preface of my novel)

Home… Home is the place that calls you with a haunting, echoing yearning. It draws you from among strangers, from meandering along the winding trails of life; as the honking geese winging northward or the leaping salmon struggling upstre

Subtle hints evoke a forgotten memory; a whiff of freshly baked bread, a kitten’s purr, or a lullaby’s melody. The memory flows into the mind like a healing balm, soothing, but not able to erase the painful ache for something unattainable and far away. Its persistent call is not always from one’s origin, but from an unknown destination.

Home’s power tortures the restless soul; drawing, pulling, pushing, urging. The gypsy, the adventurer, the prodigal all searching for a place to rest, searching until that mystic place is found… and the weary, lonesome heart sighs with satisfied contentment…Home.


Repetition can be a great tool, if you use it sparingly and effectively.
Last edited by yvonne on Tue Jan 20, 2009 7:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Postby glorybee » Tue Jan 20, 2009 6:20 pm

Yvonne, the prose in that introduction is quite lovely, very lyrical, and with excellent utilization of repetition. Thanks so much!
Jan Ackerson

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Postby yvonne » Tue Jan 20, 2009 7:57 pm

I fixed the markings on my song "Walkin' on the Water". It had been so long since I did it on the boards (been working on my blog) that I forgot how to do it! :?

Yvonne

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Postby glorybee » Tue Jan 20, 2009 8:40 pm

Thanks, Yvonne! The repetition of "Have you ever..." work very well in this poem.

Glad you're back!
Jan Ackerson

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