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S...x Revisited

A place for general chat (non-writing related). Please keep political discussions to the relevant neighborhood forum.

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lish1936
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S...x Revisited

Postby lish1936 » Mon Nov 11, 2013 2:19 pm

As witnessed by the number of "hits" on the original thread about this topic, there is obviously no lack of interest. That's why I thought it would be interesting to post excerpts from last week's Faithwriter's Blog on the subject by author, Delia Latham. For me, it summarized my thoughts about sex and Christian Fiction.

1. The sensuality meter

I was once challenged by a reader who felt the words “Christian” and “romance” conflicted.

“You cannot write about romance and call it a Christian book,” he stated. “Christians don’t partake in romance, at least not until after they’re married. And no one wants to read about that stuff between a husband and wife. What’s the point?”

How sad, this inability to distinguish between sex and romance!

Let me try to make it easy.

Romance is the wooing of another’s heart and the emotions involved in that courtship.

Sex is the physical consummation of a physical attraction (no relationship necessary).

In a Christian romance, sex is off limits for the unmarried hero/heroine, and takes place behind closed doors for married ones. What’s left? Relationship.

That said, eliminating blatant sexual activity is not the be-all and end-all of an inspirational novel. What is important is the interweaving of the characters’ spiritual journeys into their lives—and that includes their romantic overtures.

Physical attraction should be a part of the story, but it will be communicated through emotions instead of hormones. He may notice the way the heroine’s dress accentuates her curves, but he won’t focus on those curves. He’ll be drawn to her sense of humor, her generosity, her sweetness of spirit. Neither is she blind to how he looks in those hip-hugging jeans, or the way his muscles bulge when he ropes that heifer! But her emotional reactions will supersede any physical ones. She’ll be moved by his gentleness with an injured animal…touched by the respectful way he handles an annoying elderly neighbor…moved to tears by his love for children.


Lillian
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Re: S...x Revisited

Postby Shann » Mon Nov 11, 2013 3:46 pm

Wow! I felt a sense of sadness when I read the line “You cannot write about romance and call it a Christian book,” he stated. “Christians don’t partake in romance, at least not until after they’re married.

There is so much more to intimacy than physical attraction. In fact, I find cuddling or spooning far more intimate than the act of intercourse, I know I'm often a tad wackier than some, but this really surprised me. People need human touch and interaction whether Christian or not. That doesn't mean the actual act, but so much can be portrayed by simply wrapping your arms around another and holding on.

You really hit the nail on the head when you described sex and said no relationship necessary. We see that today in all forms of media: TV, movies, print. I so totally don't understand casual sex or why anyone would want that. It seems cold and unnatural to me.
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Re: S...x Revisited

Postby RedBaron » Mon Nov 11, 2013 3:56 pm

A relationship starts with the mind, and so does sin. The body just follows where the mind goes. Depending on whether or not we're Spirit led, what happens.

As many know, my husband and I met through a Christian singles chat room. the majority of our relationship, before being married, was 90% words, as we were in different states for a year, from when we became friends, to in a relationship, to engaged for 10 months, to finally married.

I knew I loved him before I even saw a picture of him. His sense of humor was the first thing I noticed about him.

It's sad that Christians feel we have to "avoid sex", when God made it and gave it to us.
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Re: S...x Revisited

Postby lish1936 » Mon Nov 11, 2013 5:25 pm

Shann wrote:Wow! I felt a sense of sadness when I read the line “You cannot write about romance and call it a Christian book,” he stated. “Christians don’t partake in romance, at least not until after they’re married.


Shann,
Just to clarify - that statement was a quote from someone other than the author of the article.
The rest of the article explains why Latham(the author)disagrees with the statement. And she explains why.

Blessings,

Lillian
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I write even when I think I can't, because I must. :-)

I love to write. Nothing escapes the crush I have on the written word. I'm hooked on words!!

"Let words bewitch you. Scrutinze them, mull them, savor them, and in combination, until you see their subtle differences and the ways they tint each other." Francis Flaherty

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Re: S...x Revisited

Postby lish1936 » Mon Nov 11, 2013 5:41 pm

Shari wrote:It's sad that Christians feel we have to "avoid sex", when God made it and gave it to us.


Shari,

I don't think that's what the article said.

"In a Christian romance, sex is off limits for the unmarried hero/heroine, and takes place behind closed doors for married ones. What’s left? Relationship

How sad, this inability to distinguish between sex and romance!"


Blessings,

Lillian
E-Book - Retirement Lane - How to Celebrate Life After 60

Fortunate 500


I write even when I think I can't, because I must. :-)

I love to write. Nothing escapes the crush I have on the written word. I'm hooked on words!!

"Let words bewitch you. Scrutinze them, mull them, savor them, and in combination, until you see their subtle differences and the ways they tint each other." Francis Flaherty

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Re: S...x Revisited

Postby RedBaron » Mon Nov 11, 2013 5:51 pm

I know. I'm just stating that many Christians don't even want to talk about it, in a safe, healthy, Biblical way. They want to just pretend it doesn't exist. And yes, agreed, sex should happen only between married couples, and we don't need the details :)

And yes, sex does not equal romance.

lish1936 wrote:
Shari wrote:It's sad that Christians feel we have to "avoid sex", when God made it and gave it to us.


Shari,

I don't think that's what the article said.

"In a Christian romance, sex is off limits for the unmarried hero/heroine, and takes place behind closed doors for married ones. What’s left? Relationship

How sad, this inability to distinguish between sex and romance!"


Blessings,

Lillian
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Re: S...x Revisited

Postby david_ian » Sun Dec 29, 2013 2:31 am

I dunno. We're obliged to write about real people. The more "idealized" characters become, the less we buy into their situation. Can we sympathize with characters who have "naughty thoughts" and struggle with them? Or how about someone with a sexually active past and have to deal with that in light of a current relationship? Or how about a couple of characters who cross the line because they ignored due-diligence?
None of these character situations have to be graphic in any way, but should we not explore the human condition and not an idealized one?

David_Ian 8)
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