Pacific Coast Rest-Stop

[writermom]

Rebecky, It does sound like you have issues to deal with but praise God your grandpa is home. That is good news. Blessings, Lori

[JesusPuppy]

Oh gee, did I ramble. I apologize to all who actually read this long, drawn out, piece of stupidity.

Oh that's okay, it was still shorter than some of Shann's old late-night "sleeptyping" posts.

I have had the WORST day ever.

Yesterday my comp was wierding out... running slow and not opening some folder pages.. SO, I redid the compute. I saved all my important stuff on backups, then copy over the writings files, music, pictures, etc.... But, and here is the BAD part, a special file of pictures was stored on my desktop instead of the 'Pictures' folder, and I forgot to save it. And yes... it was the ones of Slug.

Eight years worth............

[Shann]

Thanks for the encouragement Pup. I've been in a very dark place because of that and because of all the hoopla concerning Dad and the memorial service. I wish I'd never brought it up. It's just dragging on and I want to stop thinking about his wife and all the things she did.

Becky, I'd never skip over what you wrote. It is hard to go through someone you love not being well and personality changes. I totally can relate. I wish I could make it better for you. Know I'm always here for you and thank you for helping me not give up on myself today. Hugs

[Rebecky]

PUP! You're supposed to keep BACKUPS ONLINE!

UGH... Have I taught you nothing?!

(you don't by any chance have it where your computer backs up stuff online that you don't really know about do you?) How old/new is your compy?

Anyway... so right when things can't get worse with everything it has.

Grandpa has been officially kicked out of hospice and I found out some sensitive information about our aides that have been coming. Reason enough to fire them... reason enough they'd be fired from other jobs.

[Shann]

Hey Pup, it's probably still there. I thought I'd deleted a document. I was able to retrieve it and it says most stuff is saved for 3 days.

Sorry about everything Becky. It's hard to know what's right to do when emotions are all tied together. I'll be praying for wisdom and clarity.

[JesusPuppy]

Naaaa. I did a total wipe and reset. As for back ups, I save the "Exec-program-set-up file" and then copy all my others documents to an external hard-drive, and I did save all my files.... except that one. Normally takes about 4 hours to go through up-dating all the files once a month just so I have any new ones added in and stored.... except that one file I had on my desk-top.

Baby pictures, Slug WALKING into the storew the first time, her first pair of glasses (she makes such a cute little nerd). The picture of Monkey falling asleep in my arms while getting a hug. Had one from Valentines Day with both of them all dressed up stuffed into a "Kiddie Kart", each had a stuffed animal that was even bigger than they were. Slug trying to ride my bike the first time... when she was 4. Her little legs weren't long enough to reach the peddles, but she wanted to try. I even had one of Slug holding her baby sister just after she was born. Such a tiny thing.

[Shann]

Ahh Pup I'm sorry. My heart hurts for you.

So I was talking to my sister and decided I don't want to do or go to my dad's memorial service. I wish I'd never suggested it. All it does is bring up bad memories. I just want to be done and move on to happy things like M's baby shower. I talked to my sister and we both agreed and felt relieved. My brother said he wouldn't go or even have his family involved because he doesn't want to risk exposing them to the wife (cough) . I also thought we should ask my brother's wife because she did want to have one too. Well, she thinks we should do although very sweet and said whatever we decide. We thought about making a FB page with pictures of Mom and Dad and a place for people to comment, but my sil doesn't like that idea either. I feel like I have to help my sister because it was my idea. My sil said it'd be nice to see everyone. We don't get together since Mom died and I miss that, but don't want to do it at a memorial service where people will be talking about the estranged relationship and all the evil things his wife said and did like once telling me that my dad told her that he loves her way more than he ever loved Mom, if he even did love her. He wasn't sure since he started loving the witch...err ...I mean wife. I think that was the same time she called my grandmother (mom's mom) a gold-digging sl#@...because she had been remarried once. Sigh life is too hard and complicated.

[Shann]

Hey Puppers, I asked Chris anyway and he said to try this: http://www.easeus.com/datarecoverywizar ... tition.htm

Maybe you have already, but I thought it was worth asking since that's stuff he does all day long.

[JesusPuppy]

I can try that... see what happens.

Oh and Shann, I think you all should get together someplace. Maybe just have breakfast, just the siblings. It may seem odd, but... he was your dad way before he was her husband.

[writermom]

And Shann, we wouldn't want you to carry any regrets into the new year. Blessings, Lori

[Shann]

Thanks guys, I suggested we three kids go out to dinner on his birthday. I just don't want to risk dealing with her. She is toxic and I can't handle risking it in my fragile state of mind. I really won't have regrets. My father died years ago. At least the one I knew.

[Rebecky]

I saw grandpa today for the first time since he came home from the hospital. He's very weak and fragile. He's starting to realize he's gone to die and probably soon. He's very anxious and doesn't like to be alone. His food has now been switched to all mush and he can't drink water or any liquids without it being thickened otherwise we risk him aspirating it and it causing a lot of lung damage.

Today I sat with him for a few hours and just held his hand.

He cried, a man who never cries, and said he is scared he is going to die.

[Shann]

My dad was afraid too and then I offered to pray with him. I held his hand and it helped so much. Meanwhile I'm praying.

Dear Jesus, please wrap your loving arms around Becky's grandfather. Bless him with courage and peace. Give him what he needs to be at peace with you and to sense your presence. Grant those taking care of him wisdom and kindness. Thank you for all the wonderful memories Becky and her family have. Thank you for medicine and staff who take care of him. Thank you for his part in bringing Becky into this world. Bless her with strength and the wisdom to say and do the right things. Remind her of your love and willingness to carry her worries and burdens Bathe this family in your love as they face this difficult and sad time. Amen

[AnneRene']

Ohhhhhhh my dear sweet friends....my heart weeps for you both. I have also walked under and through the barrage of emotions similar to both of your situations. I asked the Lord to lead me in comforting you as best I could and He reminded me of this old classic. Hope it lightens your steps just a little.

[AnneRene']

And Pup....no, you ain't chopped livah! (liver...in case you can't figure it out)