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Pacific Coast Rest-Stop

A place for general chat (non-writing related). Please keep political discussions to the relevant neighborhood forum.

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Shann
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Re: Pacific Coast Rest-Stop

Postby Shann » Fri Jun 08, 2012 12:52 pm

jaybird wrote:
Shann wrote:That sounds cool Cynthia. I always thought loofahs were a type of sponge that grew in the ocean or something. I wonder if they would grow around here. I need to start planting my garden too. It's been such a weird year first unseasonable warm then a freak snowstorm plus we have had a couple of frosts this month. I do have my tomatoes planted but need to get going on the rest


A loofah sounds like a critter in Oz.

Yes, I'm still here, folks! I was in here reading.

3 days 'til my sis's wedding! Got my tux - pink shirt, cool!

I'm deleting all exclamation points and semi-colons in my YA novel. Should I get rid of dates like this:

Chapter One


June 2000


It appeared to be an ordinary June day as I sat on in the front porch, engrossed in a western novel, until a thundering noise made me jerk up. A full-sized pickup truck pulling a trailer screeched to a halt across the street. A big man stepped out and stretched. When a boy about my age jumped out of the truck my heart began to race. Oh, to have a friend right across the street, I thought with excitement.
“Dad, we’re home!” the boy hollered. He gestured for his dad. “Hurry up, Dad. I can’t wait to see my room.”
“Oh, give your old man a minute,” I heard the man groan.


I would say unless the dates are pertinent to the story line you should ditch them. Also the last sentence at the end of the quote it should be a period not a comma because you use a narration line not a tag line. The sentence I heard the man groan is complete so the end of the quote would be a period. If you wrote"... a minute," said the old man, the it would be a comma because you don't know what the old man said without the quote. Does that make sense?

Becky it's too bad you can't come to work at camp. They really need people. Lyd is nervous she is going to pull double duty and work as a counselor and lifeguard. It wouldn't be bad for the little kid camp but would be hard for the senior high camp. Some of the campers would be kids she has gone to camp with for the last 10 years. It would be hard to be an authority figure for them.

Amy and I need to stop txting cuz she gave me her stomach bug. Now I have to do what my g-ma used to say, "The backdoor trot." TMI I know but how else would you totally appreciate me saying Thank you God for indoor plumbing. Okay gotta run!
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Re: Pacific Coast Rest-Stop

Postby jaybird » Fri Jun 08, 2012 7:50 pm

or “Oh, give your old man a minute,” groaned the man.
or “Oh, give your old man a minute,” said the man with a groan.
I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Philippians 4:13

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Re: Pacific Coast Rest-Stop

Postby Rebecky » Fri Jun 08, 2012 8:12 pm

I like the first part better, Jay. It seems more fluid.
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Re: Pacific Coast Rest-Stop

Postby JoyAnn » Fri Jun 08, 2012 9:02 pm

JesusPuppy wrote:
JoyAnn wrote:
JesusPuppy wrote:You are right I don't pick on you as much.. then too you have become more civilised, I am still working on those two. :wink:


awrghaethnbaet I resent that!!!!

You wouldn't if you were more civilised. :P
I am civilized!!!!!
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"Yeah, I am a Moron."

In His Love and Mercy, Tiara Joy


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(I can't even get into this one, so if you sent anything to it I won't get it....)
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Re: Pacific Coast Rest-Stop

Postby Shann » Sat Jun 09, 2012 12:17 am

CONGRATULATIONS CYNTHIA FOR RANKING 13 IN LEVEL ONE! HAPPY DANCE! :thumbs :thumbs :superhappy :superhappy :clap :party :party :party :party
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Re: Pacific Coast Rest-Stop

Postby Kalnozoli Kate » Sat Jun 09, 2012 1:17 am

So glad Squeaky is all better now. Our Lass has one more week of wearing a stylish band to keep her from licking/scratching her key hole site. She is now an adult doggie no more junior food :thumbs
Blessings, Kathleen
"The only thing that can change us, the world, is this~~~all His love." [b][i]Ann Voskamp[/b][/i]

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Re: Pacific Coast Rest-Stop

Postby JesusPuppy » Sat Jun 09, 2012 5:09 am

JoyAnn wrote:I am civilized!!!!!

If you say so Spunky, I will go along with you. :wink:
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Re: Pacific Coast Rest-Stop

Postby cdawson41 » Sat Jun 09, 2012 6:07 am


:thankssign Thank you Shann!
Cynthia

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Re: Pacific Coast Rest-Stop

Postby Sparrow » Sun Jun 10, 2012 5:01 am

Just to go with the underwear theme, I wore a purple shirt and purple undies for my certification today. Of course, I did put pants on over them, so no one actually saw them except me, but I knew Shann would appreciate hearing about it. ;)

The certification test had five parts I had to interpret and two ethical delemas* I had to discuss in ASL, using the professional code of conduct tenants. I feel like I did really awesomely on three of them, pretty bad for on, and so-so for the others. :| So I'm not holding my breath that I passed. But I won't know anything for several months.

Leah, hope you can start sleeping better. I've at least been falling asleep by 2 or 3 again instead of 5 or 6 am. But I've had to take two sleep meds for it sometimes. I try not to do two very often. I gotta head to bed now since it's 2.

Jay, I agree that I wouldn't include the dates unless they are really important to the story for some reason. Otherwise just show time passing by something like, "The next morning, we..." And as for the dialogue tags, I encourage people never to use he said or any tag like that if you can help it. Try to show what the character is doing or expressions or tone of voice instead. If you describe an action in the same paragraph as the spoken words, then you don't need the he said at all. the reader will know that if it's in the same paragraph then it's that character who said it.

I have my booklet on "show; don't tell" ready except I had one other person giving me a critique on it. I'm a bit frustrated because she's really busy and can't do much on it, but what she has done she keeps doing on the wrong draft. I have sent in the new draft like three times and she even asked for it, but still just keeps working on the old draft. So it's way more work for her (meaning she can't get through it as fast) and not nearly as helpful for me. But I'm still thankful she's willing to help.
Amy Michelle Wiley
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Re: Pacific Coast Rest-Stop

Postby Rebecky » Sun Jun 10, 2012 11:00 am

I went with my friend and her boyfriend to the Mall that is further away and we went and saw Snow White and the Huntsman. It was really good movie and I had a lot of fun.

Now today is sit back and relax day lol
Dum Spiro Spero

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Re: Pacific Coast Rest-Stop

Postby Shann » Sun Jun 10, 2012 5:22 pm

I can't wait until your booklet is ready. I've already spoken to quite a few people that need it and want it. The POV shift chapter was the most helpful to me because I always thought third person was omniscient. Now that I know the difference I'm spotting it quite a bit. It took me a while to see the difference.
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Re: Pacific Coast Rest-Stop

Postby JesusPuppy » Mon Jun 11, 2012 5:25 am

Snow White and the Huntsman.

Hummmmmm.... must be a different Snow White than I remember. :roll:





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Re: Pacific Coast Rest-Stop

Postby Rebecky » Mon Jun 11, 2012 8:01 am

Yeah it was a little different, but there was still dwarves!! :)
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Re: Pacific Coast Rest-Stop

Postby JesusPuppy » Tue Jun 12, 2012 2:59 pm

Were they real dwarves or tall people they shrunk the film on. :roll:

Ever have one of those time you are soooo tire you could fall asleep standing up, but when you lay down.... BANG.. wide awake. :shock:

I am SOOOOooooo tired. :?
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Re: Pacific Coast Rest-Stop

Postby Shann » Tue Jun 12, 2012 6:46 pm

I heard that the Little People of America were upset when they used oh what's the politically correct term for not dwarf average-sized. Any way I thought it a bit funny because they also protest when the only parts they get are for elves or gnomes or fairies or whatever. Can't win for losing. Hmm I wonder if that statement came from someone who let a little kid win at a game and the little kid realized so they got super upset. That's exactly why I never let someone beat me or maybe it's just cuz I'm super competitive :mrgreen:

Yes Pup I get that feeling all the time. Maybe next time you should just let yourself fall over and maybe you're super lucky and you whack your head so you pass out and get even more sleep.

If I seem a bit peckish it's because Tim is trying to play a 700 Words with Friends game with me and keeps playing 7 and 8 letter words. I tried to only get small points so he wouldn't have a 700 point game on account of me but couldn't help myself and gave him a 50 point word right after I declared I was only going to play like 3 pointers.
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