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Southern Porch Extension

A place for general chat (non-writing related). Please keep political discussions to the relevant neighborhood forum.

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Edy
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby Edy » Wed Jul 09, 2014 2:45 pm

Oh, Don, thank you for the big laugh. :lol: :thankssign

Which reminds me of a couple other calls quite similar to yours with a woman trying to cast doubt on my husband's faithfulness! Like he would ever pick up anybody from a bar when he's never been in one in his life! Oh my, couldn't we write a book on such calls? I wish I could remember the details of those calls. Hmmm, I wonder if I might have a message she left on our old cassette tape answering machine. Some other taped messages are real winners, too, like the night somebody broke into my brother's house, stepping over company in sleeping bags on the floor and stole a purse and tv set. Nobody noticed until morning.
"Jesus Never Fails!" Love, Edy
The Gospel is such Good News even Christians don't believe it!
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BettyDee
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby BettyDee » Wed Jul 09, 2014 10:42 pm

Howdy. I came here to see what everyone's been up to, and practically got scared out of my wits.
You folks have some strange calls in the middle of the night, but some funny ones, too.

We are still hearing a few fireworks. They went wild with them this year. Probably because we've had a burn ban in place for the last few years, but it was lifted this year. Hopefully, everyone will have them all used up soon.

I really don't have much news; just wanted to say hi. So, HI! :D
I'm Bound for the Promised Land

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Edy
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby Edy » Wed Jul 09, 2014 11:16 pm

:hugs2 Betty! :hugs2
"Jesus Never Fails!" Love, Edy
The Gospel is such Good News even Christians don't believe it!
The Power of Story
We are the third temple! Acts 7:48, 1 Peter 2:4-5
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My StoriesMy Blog:The Prairie Nightingale

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BeachGrandma
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby BeachGrandma » Sat Jul 12, 2014 11:32 am

Speaking of calls, years ago we had nearly the same phone number as a car repair shop, a little place just outside of town. We got so tired of getting phone calls meant for them, so one day I told a lady who mistakenly had made a call to our home, "Why do you think people keep dialing our number by mistake?" She said, "The problem is that the garage has cheap stationery and it's hard to read their phone number on their invoices. We can't tell if one of the numbers is a 6 or an 8."
"Aha! So that's it," I thought. I called the garage and asked them to please buy some new invoices and explained why. He was less than charitable and said he had more important bills to pay than a printing bill for new invoices. So, the next time I got a phone call meant for the garage, I answered it and a lady told me who she was and asked how much her car repair bill was. I said, "It's $287.50."

"What?" screamed the lady. "That much just for changing the spark plugs?" She was irate.

"Take it or leave it," I answered quietly and hung up.

As I knew she would, she dialed my number again and I let it ring. I knew she would get in her car and hightail it to the garage, ready to duke it out with the manager. Of course, I never did know how it turned out but suddenly all phone calls to our house meant for the garage stopped! Not a person called our house again by mistake, wanting to speak to the garage owner. I could just see that woman arguing with the owner, and he finally figuring it had something to do with his unreadable invoices.

Note: Never mess with a little old grandma from North Carolina!
:superhappy :rolling
(singing):
"Cover me, Lord, with Your presence,
Cover me, Lord, with Your righteousness,
Cover me, Lord, with Your holiness,
Lord Jesus, cover me."

[b]
Mariane Holbrook

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Edy
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby Edy » Sat Jul 12, 2014 6:34 pm

Thanks for making me laugh, BeachGrandma! You do know how to solve problems.
"Jesus Never Fails!" Love, Edy
The Gospel is such Good News even Christians don't believe it!
The Power of Story
We are the third temple! Acts 7:48, 1 Peter 2:4-5
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Verna
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby Verna » Sat Jul 12, 2014 6:43 pm

Thank you for the smile today, Mariane! If I have a problem I can't solve, I'll check with you. So smart you are.

Edy, aren't you glad your husband is so trustworthy you didn't even have to worry. God is good to give us good mates!

Betty, I always love it when you drop in!
Verna

A merry heart doeth good like a medicine...
Proverb 17:22

Facebook author page: Verna Cole Mitchell
http://www.magnificomanuscripts.com/

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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby deejay » Sat Jul 12, 2014 7:11 pm

I once was given a single-speed bike at a church I used to go to many years ago. But it wasn't quite put together right. I looked up the number of the local bike shop, and called. I got an old lady telling me "This isn't the bike shop!" Used to be the Yellow Pages could be trusted to give reliable phone and business information. Now you can't depend on them for anything. No I don't have the bike--shortly after I moved in with mom, she made me get rid of it. As in the trash.

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Edy
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby Edy » Sat Jul 12, 2014 7:17 pm

Dittos, Verna! 8)

I do have another good story, not involving phone calls. When hubby told our pastor about this episode, pastor told him, "Howard, don't ever do that again!" :lol:

Here's what happened. He was driving home after some committee meeting at church, one evening, and saw this gal surrounded by several men. He was afraid she was in trouble, so he pulled up to the curb and asked her if she needed a ride. She jumped in the car and he asked her where she needed to go.

She said, "Do you want a date?"

Howard said, "I don't do dates." And, he let her out of the car where she indicated he should let her off.

My recommendation for a similar situation in the future: he should pull alongside and ask "Do you want me to phone the police?" :!:
"Jesus Never Fails!" Love, Edy
The Gospel is such Good News even Christians don't believe it!
The Power of Story
We are the third temple! Acts 7:48, 1 Peter 2:4-5
Essentially Lutheran
My StoriesMy Blog:The Prairie Nightingale

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BeachGrandma
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby BeachGrandma » Sat Jul 12, 2014 7:52 pm

Omigoodness, poor guy! That story could have ended a dozen different ways.

This is something I wouldn't believe if I hadn't seen it myself. John had to meet 4 busloads of jr and sr high school students at 5 a.m. one morning years ago at our K-Mart parking lot. He directed his western tour for teens every summer while he was on vacation from teaching at our local high school. I said goodbye to him and was driving home, taking the highway which was surrounded on both sides by woods. It was only a couple of miles to our house and still dark outside. Suddenly, I slammed on the brakes and stared straight ahead. There was a young woman (probably 20 or so) in the middle of the highway dressed only in a blouse, underwear and shoes, waving what looked like her skirt at something in the road. There was no other traffic on this 4 lane highway, divided by a narrow plot of grass. She seemed oblivious to me and I had no idea what in the world she was doing out there alone. A car was parked on the side of the road a ways ahead of her which I presumed to be hers. Finally, another car came up beside me on our side of the highway. He too, slammed on his brakes and sat there leaning toward the windshield, just staring. Shortly, he looked over at me with a "What's going on?" look. I shook my head, indicating I didn't know. In her underwear she kept waving her skirt for no apparent reason.Finally, in the tall grass we saw the backside of a turtle. She had apparently been forcing him off the highway and into the woods so it wouldn't be hit by a car. The other man and I watched as she kept waving her skirt at the turtle's head trying to get it safely in the woods. We stayed in our cars with our headlights on, providing light for her. After another 10 minutes, she seemed satisfied that the turtle was safe so without even looking our way, she threw her skirt over her shoulder, climbed into her car and drove away. The other man and I looked at each other and started laughing. We rolled our windows down at the same time and he said loud enough for me to hear, "If you hadn't been here to verify that this really happened, I'd swear I was losing my mind." I laughed and told him I was glad he showed up because I had no idea what she was up to until I saw the turtle at the edge of the road.

After I arrived home and went back to bed for a couple of hours, I woke up thinking, "Did I dream that or did I see a woman in her underwear waving a turtle off the road?" I wished I'd thought to get the man's phone number because he was probably wondering the same thing. LOL

:sofa :eyes :shocked
(singing):
"Cover me, Lord, with Your presence,
Cover me, Lord, with Your righteousness,
Cover me, Lord, with Your holiness,
Lord Jesus, cover me."

[b]
Mariane Holbrook

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Edy
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby Edy » Sat Jul 12, 2014 8:44 pm

Oh, Mariane, you remind me of something. Maybe you saw my post on facebook. Has your husband found this monument for his student tours? We saw the dvd of it last Sunday, and before that I had no idea.

Here's an introduction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wIIqXiF-z6E

The Forefathers Monument
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wIIqXiF-z6E
"Jesus Never Fails!" Love, Edy
The Gospel is such Good News even Christians don't believe it!
The Power of Story
We are the third temple! Acts 7:48, 1 Peter 2:4-5
Essentially Lutheran
My StoriesMy Blog:The Prairie Nightingale

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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby BeachGrandma » Mon Jul 14, 2014 6:35 am

I'll show it to him, Edy. Thanks!

I just woke up but found the following in my mailbox. As sleepy as I was, I laughed out loud over and over:

https://www.youtube.com/embed/fPXkUXXFoCw

My sister had a pet monkey when she and her family were missionaries in Africa. She often looked out the kitchen window and there would be Cindy, their monkey, who had crawled into the waist of blue jeans drying on the line, and was swinging back and forth, having the time of her life. My sis finally decided to hang the jeans upside down so the monkey would be less inclined to make swings out of them.
(singing):
"Cover me, Lord, with Your presence,
Cover me, Lord, with Your righteousness,
Cover me, Lord, with Your holiness,
Lord Jesus, cover me."

[b]
Mariane Holbrook

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Edy
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby Edy » Mon Jul 14, 2014 11:46 am

Thanks for the chuckles, BeachGrandma, that was entertaining. Animals sure can be funny...birds, too, huh Betty? 8)
"Jesus Never Fails!" Love, Edy
The Gospel is such Good News even Christians don't believe it!
The Power of Story
We are the third temple! Acts 7:48, 1 Peter 2:4-5
Essentially Lutheran
My StoriesMy Blog:The Prairie Nightingale

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BeachGrandma
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby BeachGrandma » Mon Jul 14, 2014 6:17 pm

Wanna have some fun when you're bored?

http://www.weeville.com/other_goofy_stuff.htm
(singing):
"Cover me, Lord, with Your presence,
Cover me, Lord, with Your righteousness,
Cover me, Lord, with Your holiness,
Lord Jesus, cover me."

[b]
Mariane Holbrook

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Edy
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby Edy » Tue Jul 15, 2014 11:56 am

What a perfectly gorgeous morning in Minneapolis! Clear, sunny and temps in the mid 60s, only supposed to reach 70, today. I expect to run rings around myself accomplishing what has been neglected for ........ weeks and more. :lol:

And, here's a bit of humor to charge your batteries:



U.S. Navy destroyer stops four Mexicans rowing towards Texas.
The Captain gets on the loud-hailer and shouts, "Ahoy, small craft. Where are you headed?"

One of the Mexicans puts down his oar, stands up, and shouts,

"We are invading the United States of America to reclaim the territory taken by the USA during the 1800's."

The entire crew on the destroyer doubles over in laughter.

When the Captain finally catches his breath, he gets back on the loud-hailer and asks, "Just the four of you?"

The same Mexican stands up again and shouts, "No, we're the last four. The other 12 million are already there!"


:shock: Could be true! 8)
"Jesus Never Fails!" Love, Edy
The Gospel is such Good News even Christians don't believe it!
The Power of Story
We are the third temple! Acts 7:48, 1 Peter 2:4-5
Essentially Lutheran
My StoriesMy Blog:The Prairie Nightingale

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BeachGrandma
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby BeachGrandma » Tue Jul 15, 2014 2:53 pm

funny, Edy!!

Here's one for you:


A preacher said, "Anyone with 'special needs' who wants to be prayed over, please come forward to the front by the altar."

With that, Leroy got in line, and when it was his turn, the Preacher asked, "Leroy, what do you want me to pray about for you?"

Leroy replied, "Preacher, I need you to pray for help with my hearing."

The preacher put one finger of one hand in Leroy's ear, placed his other hand on top of Leroy's head, and then prayed and prayed and prayed. He prayed a "blue streak" for Leroy, and the whole congregation joined in with great enthusiasm.

After a few minutes, the preacher removed his hands, stood back and asked, "Leroy, how is your hearing now?"

Leroy answered, "I don't know. It ain't 'til next week.


:superhappy :superhappy :superhappy :superhappy :rolling
(singing):
"Cover me, Lord, with Your presence,
Cover me, Lord, with Your righteousness,
Cover me, Lord, with Your holiness,
Lord Jesus, cover me."

[b]
Mariane Holbrook

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