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Southern Porch Extension

A place for general chat (non-writing related). Please keep political discussions to the relevant neighborhood forum.

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BeachGrandma
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby BeachGrandma » Sat Jan 18, 2014 10:53 am

I took this test today: http://www.gotoquiz.com/politics/politi ... -quiz.html


and my result was that I'm 'conservative authoritarian' Yikes! That sounds harsh, doesn't it?
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I long to be gentle and Christ-like; I long to be just like my Lord."

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Verna
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby Verna » Sat Jan 18, 2014 12:42 pm

Mariane, you're the least harshest person I know--maybe very principled!

Don, I took a couple of accent tests. One said I was just plain American, probably moved around a lot when I was young. Bingo! I was a preacher's daughter. The other said I didn't have a particular accent, but listed some places I might have come from originally. One of them was Southern Ohio. Bingo again! The first five years of my life I lived in Cincinnati. However, my friend from New Jersey thinks I have a very strong southern accent.

Marianne and Edy, your stories are wonderful. When my father-in-law was in a nursing home, there was a woman there who went around "borrowing" everyone's false teeth. When he visited, he was wearing somebody's else's teeth. Oh my!

Glad for a smile this morning. I need to go back to work on an editing job.It's a good day to stay in--just now up to 32, and Wednesday of next week, we are not supposed to get out of the 30's. That's cold for us in the South! The weatherman says maybe some snow flurries on Tuesday.
Verna

A merry heart doeth good like a medicine...
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Edy
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby Edy » Sat Jan 18, 2014 10:47 pm

It sounds as if my readers are ready for another installment. 8)

My poor eccentric patient wore a mother's ring with several stones. I rolled that thought around in my mind, concluding that a 50-something spinster could have been wearing the ring inherited from her own mother. But, I was in for another surprise. When I went to retrieve something from her closet, I could hardly believe my eyes. I'd never seen anywhere such a collection of semi-sheer negligees, replete with maribou feather trimming, certainly never in a patient's closet...a skeleton in fancy night wear? This was at the point of ghoulish!

From her meager social history, I began to develop a complicated fictional past for this once young woman, weaving it into the lives of the other characters I collected for my mystery.

The End...(for now) :P
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby RiversidePeace » Sun Jan 19, 2014 5:04 am

Hi,

Any ideas to stop cramps? My hands and feet have been cramping up a lot lately but not at night. It's mostly when I've been using them for any length of time.

Chrissy

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Edy
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby Edy » Sun Jan 19, 2014 9:46 pm

Chrissy, when my hands give me trouble, I get them into hot water (dish washing!). That usually relieves the discomfort. Your hands may be telling you to take a bit of rest, too. Does aspirin or ibuprofen help? I never found any benefit from acetaminophen (Tylenol), plus the danger for one's liver means I don't recommend it as a solution.
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby BeachGrandma » Mon Jan 20, 2014 8:03 am

Chrissy, I use a cream with Emu oil it, then put on my warm gloves for arthritis patients. I get relief that way, though sometimes it's hard to fit my toes into a pair of those warm gloves. (hehehe) I'm in a good mood this morning. The kids are here, no school today, MLK's birthday, and I feel good! Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

Love your story, Edy, and the way you keep us on pins and needles.

My mother's roommate loved to sneak over to Mother's side of the room at night when Mother finally was in deep sleep, quietly open the drawer of the bedside table and withdraw the container that held Mother's teeth. She'd take it over to her side, and at her mirror would try to wear them. The problem was, she still had her own teeth, so she wore Mother's on top of her own natural teeth. They looked ghoulish, sticking out at all angles, when she tried to smile at herself in the mirror. A nurse came in one night when she was doing this, and it scared her senseless. There was only a night light in that darkened room, just enough for Mrs. Gibbs to see her ghostly self in the mirror. When the nurse told Mother about it the next morning, Mother said, "Oh please don't be harsh on her. She's such a dear and I'm not using them that time of night, anyway."

I wondered then who was crazier - Mrs. Gibbs or my mother! :-) ROF :superhappy :thumbs :rolling :rolling :fingerwag :rockon :party :sofa :heehee :zipped
"I long, O I long to be holy, conformed to His will and His Word.
I long to be gentle and Christ-like; I long to be just like my Lord."

Mariane Holbrook

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Edy
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby Edy » Mon Jan 20, 2014 2:12 pm

:lol: Your mom was such a sweetheart, and generous to a fault---just like you, Mariane.

I am just imagining how that scene would turn out in our sit-com. We'd have to include a disclaimer before every episode: "Attention, please visit the bathroom before watching the following program...you will regret it if you don't." :oops: You do know how to make us laugh!

Please keep writing!

Oh, and the title for the show would be simply "Elliot Park." That's the name of the centrally located park out the front door of Augustana, with the small Christian college in the buildings facing the park on the left, and across the park, further on the left, the medical building, with the hospital rising above the street on the north side, opposite Augustana.
"Jesus Never Fails!" Love, Edy
The Gospel is such Good News even Christians don't believe it!
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby Edy » Mon Jan 20, 2014 2:37 pm

Verna, we could have an entire episode devoted to the problems with dentures in the nursing home setting. Thankfully, at least some dental labs I know inscribe them with the client's name, so in a jumble, somebody could hopefully sort which belonged to whom! 8) Wouldn't the prop people have fun creating dental appliances to "fit" (horribly?) the actors' mouths?

We'd have to have one stage setting being the laundry department, receiving a frantic call to check all the dirty laundry for a missing pair of dentures, too. That happened more than once in my experience. Though not so funny as both of your patient-involved stories, it could gross people out to imagine that sort of workload! :lol:

I can see the opening scene introducing the sit-com. A bright autumn noon hour, a bashful young couple walk hand in hand in the park, and find a bench to sit down. Along comes a bent old man pushing his older friend in a wheelchair. A suspicious-looking teen (in a hoodie?), hands in pockets, observes from a distance, but makes a point of avoiding contact with anyone (Elliot Park is in a not-so-low crime zone of the city). Another pair of elders play checkers on a picnic table while a doctor in lab coat makes a dash from the medical building over to the hospital.

Then the title spins out from a center dot into full size: "Elliot Park!"

Hey! Let's make this a collaboration so the "author" would be listed as "by Southern Porch!" Do we know a faithwriter "fluent" in screenwriting, after we feed him/her our stories?
:D
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The Gospel is such Good News even Christians don't believe it!
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby ready2go » Mon Jan 20, 2014 4:04 pm

Screenwriting is waayyyy above my pay grade! :roll:

The "author" would be listed as "by Southern Porch minus Don." :lol:

Don
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby Edy » Mon Jan 20, 2014 5:05 pm

ready2go wrote:Screenwriting is waayyyy above my pay grade! :roll:

The "author" would be listed as "by Southern Porch minus Don."

Don


Don, perhaps none of us on the Porch has experience screen writing (but, I'm hoping there's some other FaithWriter not necessarily on the Porch who does like such a challenge). Our contribution would be that we have lots of terrific stories to weave into such a play/movie/tv program. Your nature stories would be a refreshing part of the "Elliot Park" people. Perhaps a sparkling-eyes old grandpa, who feeds crumbs and crusts from his meals to the birds and bunnies in the park interrupts the staff in the middle of some critical work to try and tell his stories. Or, he entertains a dayroom full of half asleep patients slumped in their seats, giving them a view to the outdoors that they are missing.

I think this wonderful grandpa could add just the needed pathos and delight to keep our story from being labeled a joke that disparages the aged (and would be a door to adding visiting children into the mix). We could show a continuum of how we're all doomed to age but we can hang onto our vision for living to the fullest in spite of the drawbacks.

We might even introduce some tears through this character. Have him take sick, after enough time for everyone to fall in love with him, so he can only observe the birds in the trees outside his window. We could make the audience fear that he could even be "killed off" from the program, but after leaving them dangling, bring him back to health to continue his ministry to new life in the nursing home setting.

What do you think of that idea?
"Jesus Never Fails!" Love, Edy
The Gospel is such Good News even Christians don't believe it!
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We are the third temple! Acts 7:48, 1 Peter 2:4-5
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby Edy » Mon Jan 20, 2014 5:10 pm

Here are a bunch more real-life characters for the story:

Dayroom Diary

Hilma was a little spit-fire. Everything made her angry. She stomped around the ward using her cane as a handy weapon, waving it in a threatening manner at anyone who displeased her. She made so many phone calls to the health department (reporting all her perceived complaints) that the health department actually phoned the nurses’ station to ask if we couldn’t please keep her off the phone! As a “last straw” attack on the staff, she would stop briefly to interrupt a nurse’s activities, spitting her words like so many darts, “No wonder you work in a nursing home!” She would have been a very depressing addition to a full workload day, if she hadn’t been so amusing in her cantankerous ways. Eventually, she became too much to handle and was transferred to the confused ward.

Here, she had a new head nurse to deal with. And they got along famously! Ardelle seemed to know just what Hilma needed. “Hilma, will you help me?” She handed Hilma a little ice-cream pail of soapy water. “I need you to wipe off the tables in the day room.” Hilma proceeded immediately to the task, pushing in between the wheelchairs, grumbling all the while. “You’d think people could leave the table when they finish eating....!” When she completed one task, she reported to Ardelle for her next assignment. Amazing!

Another resident on the confused floor, Marie, had been an Avon lady. She remained a serene, aristocratic lady, with one, annoying to her table-mates, exception. If she saw something she wanted, she just helped herself, off her neighbor’s plate as well as her own. Her neighbors regularly swatted her offending hand. But, Marie never seemed ruffled or angered by this. She simply replied, every time, in a most gracious voice, “I’m so sorry, I did not mean to disturb you.”

Wally had an alarming habit of ending up on the floor. The first few times the staff found him, they dutifully filled out the accident report on his “fall.” Then somebody connected the dots and realized it was his lifelong occupation as a carpet layer in operation. Wally wasn’t falling. He was down on hands and knees on purpose, measuring for new carpet!

One day, as I helped with feeding, I sat beside Wally, who kept nodding off between bites. “Wake up, Wally. Chew!” He would raise his drooping head just enough to look at me out of the corner of his sleepy eyes, give me a rather flirty grin, swallow and open for another spoonful.

Across the table, dear old Pastor Collins managed to feed himself, his usual glowing smile intact through every mouthful. His constant companion, a large-print Bible, lay open alongside his plate. How much he was reading, and how much was memory was a guess, as it was often in use upside down. As he ate and “read,” his body swayed back and forth the way Jewish men do in synagogue.

“Pastor Collins,” I said, waiting for Wally, again, “What’s the Good News, today?”

He looked up at me with his skinny, wrinkled face creased with smiling. His thin, aged voice cracked, but he spoke with remarkable power, “Jesus loves me, this I know. For the Bible tells me so!”

In my mind, I sang the next line, “Little ones to Him belong; they are weak, but He is strong.” What more needed to be said? The first song most Christian mothers teach to their children conveyed the heart of all the Gospel, and that core gift of faith remained strong, bearing fruit even into old age.

The meal finished, Pastor Collins tucked his Bible under one arm and made his rather shaky rounds of the dayroom. As he always did at the end of every meal, he placed his hand in blessing on the head of each resident in the dayroom, and then, “off duty,” he proceeded down the hall to his room for a nap.
(written for a Writing Challenge assignment by Edy T Johnson)
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The Gospel is such Good News even Christians don't believe it!
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby RiversidePeace » Mon Jan 20, 2014 5:24 pm

Thanks.

I have emu oil and I will try the washing up. Usually Norm does that for me but I could do for a change. ;)

A little cooler here today. Bearable enough to step out side so I'll take the grandson out for the day.

Later

Love, Chrissy

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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby Edy » Mon Jan 20, 2014 5:43 pm

While I'm working on my next Salt & Light Report, around the edges of posting here, I thought of a couple more scenarios we could cover in our stories. Both mystery/danger and romantic connections.

But, I'll keep those to tell you later (I know you all like the suspense!). :P
"Jesus Never Fails!" Love, Edy
The Gospel is such Good News even Christians don't believe it!
The Power of Story
We are the third temple! Acts 7:48, 1 Peter 2:4-5
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby ready2go » Mon Jan 20, 2014 8:21 pm

All right Edy...the suspense is killin' me here.

Did you call me an old story-tellin' grandpa who doles out crumbs and crusts to my chipmunk friends? Crumbs and crusts are all I have to share...and critters is all the friends I got.

Oh...about the old part. Yeah, it hurts, but I'll give you that one. :(

Don
John 14:6
Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me."

"My Journey To Jesus"
http://faithwriters.com/article-details.php?id=41225

http://faithwriters.com/member-profile.php?id=18654

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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby Edy » Mon Jan 20, 2014 8:29 pm

No, Don, I figured you more for the role of Pr. Collins. :lol: On second thought....when did you become a grandpa?
"Jesus Never Fails!" Love, Edy
The Gospel is such Good News even Christians don't believe it!
The Power of Story
We are the third temple! Acts 7:48, 1 Peter 2:4-5
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