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Southern Porch Extension

A place for general chat (non-writing related). Please keep political discussions to the relevant neighborhood forum.

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Edy
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby Edy » Tue Jan 07, 2014 7:46 pm

Oh, no, not what I thought; rather perhaps the investigator actually "found" the guy, but didn't realize it. And Greg slipped from his clutches by deflecting attention away from himself and on to you as a convenient scape goat. Just an idea!
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ready2go
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby ready2go » Tue Jan 07, 2014 8:23 pm

Maybe Edy, but I just don't know. I'll never know.

It's been my experience that investigators don't always accomplish that which they set out to do.

I hired a private investigator once (through my lawyer). He was unable to complete the job I hired him to do.

He was supposed to do a stake-out while hiding in far-away bushes. Then, with a hi-powered camera he was to take photos of a person engaging in physical work that was medically not permitted due to physical limitations (it's a long story).

Well, the bad news was that the person never showed up during numerous stake-outs, plus...the investigator tripped and fell into the bushes - causing himself to be all scratched up and his camera damaged.

:lol:

Don
John 14:6
Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me."

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Edy
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby Edy » Tue Jan 07, 2014 11:00 pm

Time for some funnies:


Norwegian Math Test...

Verks 4 me.
A Norwegian Math Test --- This only works for those in Minnna soda , Nort DaKoda, or Viskonsin dont cha know!

Ole, a Norwegian fella wants a job, but the foreman doesn't want to hire him, so he says he won't hire him until he passes a little math test. Here is your first question, the foreman said. 'Without using numbers, represent the number 9.'

'Witout numbers?' The Norwegian says, 'Dat's easy.' and proceeds to draw three trees.

What's this?' the boss asks.
Vot! You got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine,' says the Norwegian.

'Fair enough,' says the boss. 'Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time represent the number 99.'

The Norwegian stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. 'Dar ya go!'

The boss scratches his head and says, 'How on earth do you get that to represent 99?'
'You must be from Iowa. Each of Da trees is dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Dat is 99.'

The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire this Norwegian, so he says, 'All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100.'

The Norwegian fella stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, 'Dar ya go! Von hundred!'

The boss looks at the attempt. 'You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!'
The Norwegian winces and shakes his head. UFF-DAH! you must be a Finlander from Iowa; he leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says, 'A little dog come along and pooped by each tree. So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, and dat makes von hundred !!

So, ven do I start

:oops: :P :lol: :mrgreen:
"Jesus Never Fails!" Love, Edy
The Gospel is such Good News even Christians don't believe it!
The Power of Story
We are the third temple! Acts 7:48, 1 Peter 2:4-5
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BeachGrandma
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby BeachGrandma » Wed Jan 08, 2014 3:00 am

hehe You're on a roll, Edy. I saw this tonight on Lucianne.com

State Mottoes: :superhappy :clap :superhappy :clap

Alabama: At Least We're not Mississippi

Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't be Wrong!

Arizona: But It's a Dry Heat

Arkansas: Litterasy Ain't Everthing

California: As Seen on TV

Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother

Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only Dirtier and With Less Character

Delaware: We Really Do Like the Chemicals in our Water

Florida: Ask Us About Our Grand kids

Georgia: We Put the "Fun" in Fundamentalist Extremism

Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death to Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money )

Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes... Well Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Are Real Good

Illinois: Please Don't Pronounce the "S"

Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free

Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn

Kansas: First Of The Rectangle States

Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names

Louisiana: We're Not All Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign

Maine: We're Wicked Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster

Maryland: A Thinking Man's Delaware

Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most Tax Brackets )

Michigan: First Line of Defense From the Canadians

Minnesota: "10,000 Lakes and 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes"

Mississippi: Come Feel Better About Your Own State

Missouri: Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars at Work

Montana: Land of the Big Sky, the Unabomber, Right-Wing Crazies and Very Little Else

Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest

Nevada: Whores and Poker! New Hampshire: Go Away and Leave Us Alone

New Jersey: Ya Wanna ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here!

New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent Pets

New York: You Have the Right to Remain Silent, You Have the Right to an Attorney...

North Carolina: Tobacco is a Vegetable

North Dakota: We Really are One of the 50 States!

Ohio: We Wish We Were In Michigan

Oklahoma: Like the Play, only No Singing

Oregon: Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner

Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal

Rhode Island: We're Not REALLY An Island

South Carolina: Remember the Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender

South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota

Tennessee: The Educashun State

Texas: Si' Hablo Ing'les (Yes, I speak English )

Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus

Vermont: Yep

Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs and Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?

Washington: Help! We're Overrun By Nerds and Slackers!

Washington, D.C.: Wanna Be Mayor?

West Virginia: One Big Happy Family-Really!

Wisconsin: Eat Cheese or Die

Wyoming: Wynot?
"I long, O I long to be holy, conformed to His will and His Word.
I long to be gentle and Christ-like; I long to be just like my Lord."

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Verna
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby Verna » Wed Jan 08, 2014 11:37 am

Glad to see nobody's brain dead or lost their sense of humor from the cold! Thanks for the smiles.
When I saw the weather predictions, I said a little prayer for my Minnesota porch friends!
Yesterday morning it was 6 degrees here, and I assure you that's rare for my neck of the woods.
Verna

A merry heart doeth good like a medicine...
Proverb 17:22

Facebook author page: Verna Cole Mitchell
http://www.magnificomanuscripts.com/

ready2go
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby ready2go » Wed Jan 08, 2014 12:41 pm

It will warm up so much later today (maybe above zero) that I might even try licking a metal flag pole so see if tongues only freeze/stick in really cold temperatures.

I should probably have my cell phone with me just in case there's trouble.

Thhhello...thhelp...hurthhs bad...thhsos...thhongue sthhuck...thhmaydayth...thhelp!!!

:brrr

Don
John 14:6
Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me."

"My Journey To Jesus"
http://faithwriters.com/article-details.php?id=41225

http://faithwriters.com/member-profile.php?id=18654

"The Israel Connection"
http://theisraelconnection.blogspot.com/

"I have a story to tell...the saving gospel to share...and the fire of the Holy Spirit burning deep within my soul."

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deejay
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby deejay » Wed Jan 08, 2014 5:22 pm

As to the "Greg" episode, I think that guy was casing your house for a robbery/burglary, and was waiting for you to leave so he could break in. His being a PI was just an excuse to cover himself.

The new state motto for California just about sums it up. I still can't understand why they show California tourism ads on TV when we live in California; maybe they're trying to get Californians to leave home and actually see what else the state has to offer. If so, those ads don't scratch the surface. There is so much more to California than missions, beaches, mountains, Holly-weird, etc..

ready2go
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby ready2go » Wed Jan 08, 2014 6:10 pm

deejay wrote:As to the "Greg" episode, I think that guy was casing your house for a robbery/burglary, and was waiting for you to leave so he could break in. His being a PI was just an excuse to cover himself.

The new state motto for California just about sums it up. I still can't understand why they show California tourism ads on TV when we live in California; maybe they're trying to get Californians to leave home and actually see what else the state has to offer. If so, those ads don't scratch the surface. There is so much more to California than missions, beaches, mountains, Holly-weird, etc..


Yeah, I always wondered about that. My lakeside rear of the house is very secluded with lots of woods. It would be easy for someone to sneak up from the lake and not be seen by the neighbors (or me). I do have automatic motion security lights back there, but they only work at night.

Nobody has ever attempted a break-in, but if they were to try, my security system would have cops surrounding the house in 3-4 minutes. I have had items stolen from my boat at night while it was on the lift by the dock.

Yes, there is lots to see and do in California. I've been there from top to bottom several times.

Don
John 14:6
Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me."

"My Journey To Jesus"
http://faithwriters.com/article-details.php?id=41225

http://faithwriters.com/member-profile.php?id=18654

"The Israel Connection"
http://theisraelconnection.blogspot.com/

"I have a story to tell...the saving gospel to share...and the fire of the Holy Spirit burning deep within my soul."

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Allison
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby Allison » Wed Jan 08, 2014 9:11 pm

My brother from Main is coming for a visit, and his plane just landed. Only a few more minutes unitl he's here and I get to see him. I haven't seen him for 2 1/2 years. :superhappy :superhappy :superhappy

Unfortunately, his wife had to stay behind, as she's working a seasonal job. and I have to work tomorrow and Friday, so I won't get to see him much, but I'll take what I can get. :superhappy
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Isaiah 40:30-31 (NIV)

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RedBaron
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby RedBaron » Wed Jan 08, 2014 11:10 pm

I have a prayer request, but instead of posting it here, I'm just going to link to it. I'd appreciate it if y'all popped over there.

viewtopic.php?f=6&t=37752
<><
Shari
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RiversidePeace
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby RiversidePeace » Thu Jan 09, 2014 6:05 pm

Well, today is Norm and my 33rd wedding anniversary and we are about to leave for the city where we'll spend the weekend. We haven't been into Sydney City for some years so we have a lot of tourist stuff to do.

Back on line Monday.

Chrissy

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BeachGrandma
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby BeachGrandma » Thu Jan 09, 2014 8:28 pm

Checking in on the prayer requests. We like to see them printed in red so they stick out better but God can read them in black, blue or any color, can't He?

:brrr :brrr :brrr :brrr :brrr :brrr It's been cold here too but tomorrow we're heading back to the 60s! Yippee.
Last edited by BeachGrandma on Thu Jan 09, 2014 10:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"I long, O I long to be holy, conformed to His will and His Word.
I long to be gentle and Christ-like; I long to be just like my Lord."

Mariane Holbrook

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BeachGrandma
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby BeachGrandma » Thu Jan 09, 2014 8:33 pm

Shari, I have a fear of the dentists,too. When I was a kid I even passed out one time, in sheer terror. Dr.Rounds was an alcoholic and whenever he came at me with that drill, I'd scream, thinking he would drill right through my eye or cheek or something. Thankfully,he finally retired.

Congratulation, Chrissy, on your anniversary. Have a wonderful time on your trip.


:grouphug2 :loveyou :grouphug2 :loveyou :grouphug2 :loveyou :love2 :love2 :love2
"I long, O I long to be holy, conformed to His will and His Word.
I long to be gentle and Christ-like; I long to be just like my Lord."

Mariane Holbrook

ready2go
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby ready2go » Thu Jan 09, 2014 9:04 pm

. . . .

Don
Last edited by ready2go on Fri Jan 10, 2014 7:43 am, edited 1 time in total.
John 14:6
Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me."

"My Journey To Jesus"
http://faithwriters.com/article-details.php?id=41225

http://faithwriters.com/member-profile.php?id=18654

"The Israel Connection"
http://theisraelconnection.blogspot.com/

"I have a story to tell...the saving gospel to share...and the fire of the Holy Spirit burning deep within my soul."

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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby RedBaron » Thu Jan 09, 2014 9:17 pm

Congrats! (You'll see this when you get back) Hope you had an amazing time!

RiversidePeace wrote:Well, today is Norm and my 33rd wedding anniversary and we are about to leave for the city where we'll spend the weekend. We haven't been into Sydney City for some years so we have a lot of tourist stuff to do.

Back on line Monday.

Chrissy
<><
Shari
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