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Edy wrote:Out of the mouth of two or three witnesses, Don!
Thanks, Carole! I betcha Don is going to have to give it a try, for sure, now.
APPLE PIE WITHOUT SOME CHEESE
IS LIKE A KISS WITHOUT A SQUEEZE
I dialed a number and got the following recording: "I am not available
right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some
changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not
return your call, you are one of the changes."
At pilots’ training back in the Air Corps, they taught us, "Always try to
keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you
Little Tommy had been to a birthday party at a friend's house.
Knowing his sweet tooth, Tommy's mother looked straight into his eyes
and said, "I hope you didn't ask for a second piece of cake."
"No, but I asked Mrs. Smith for the recipe so you could make some like it,
and she gave me two more pieces without asking."
My wife and I had words, but I didn't get to use mine.
As my five year old son and I were headed to McDonald's one day, we passed
a car accident. Usually when we see something terrible like that, we say a
prayer for those who might be hurt, so I pointed and said to my son, "We
From the back seat I heard his earnest request: "Please, God, don't let
those cars block the entrance to McDonald's."
Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.
Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without
The irony of life is that, by the time you're old enough to know your way
around, you're not going anywhere.
God made man before woman so as to give him time to think of an answer for
her first question.
I was always taught to respect my elders, but it keeps getting harder to
A man appeared before St. Peter at the pearly gates. "Have you ever done
anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked.
"Well, I can think of one thing," the man offered. "On a trip to the Black
Hills in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of high-testosterone bikers, who
were threatening a young woman.
I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. "So, I
approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and smacked him on
the head, kicked his bike over, and ripped out his nose ring, and threw it
on the ground." I yelled, "Now back off!! Or you'll answer to me!"
St. Peter was impressed: "When did this happen?"
"Just a couple minutes ago."
BeachGrandma wrote:Get ready to be blown away. Please turn up your volume. I'm speechless.
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