Several posts ago a question was asked about Thanksgiving plans, food, etc. This year, Thanksgiving will be...well, different, strange, and difficult...because Carol will never again be with us for the holiday. Christmas will be a challenge as well.
You see, Carol felt a special closeness to Thanksgiving. She was the most caring and giving persons I know - and was always heavily involved with the preparations and the people who attended to insure that all felt welcome.
The reason is that Carol's bloodlines have been traced back to Chief Massasoit (1590-1661), chief of the powerful Wampanoag tribe that inhabited the New England area. He signed a peace treaty with the Pilgrim settlers in Plymouth Colony, Mass. in 1621. Massasoit was instrumental in organizing the first Thanksgiving. Today, the area south of Boston has statues, buildings, roads, and parks named in his honor.
Since Carol was called Home to be with her Savior and Lord eight nonths ago, it is as if a horrific storm devasted my life, and the storm rages on. It feels as if my heart and soul has been ripped apart and shredded, then, blown away like confetti in the wind.
What had been normal for almost 50 years is now gone - never to return. I don't know if anything will ever feel normal again.
This year, instead of doing any cooking as I have done in the past, I will only be providing a warm house, the dishes, the tables, and a welcome mat for guests. Thirteen quests (mostly family) will be bringing the entire meal with them. Oh, I will make a pecan pie and pumpkin pie, but that is all.
It will be difficult not having my bride with us. Even though I cannot touch her, I cannot see her smiling face, and I cannot hear her voice, I know exactly where she is. She is with the Lord, and He is with me, so she cannot be far away. Carol will be near to our hearts and thoughts on Thanksgiving day.
Next Monday evening I will be attending a special support group gathering at my church for those who have lost a loved one during the past year. It will be a time of remembering, hugs, inspitational counseling, and sharing with fellow believers to help all survive the difficult holidays. I believe I will need that.