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Southern Porch Extension

A place for general chat (non-writing related). Please keep political discussions to the relevant neighborhood forum.

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BeachGrandma
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby BeachGrandma » Thu Aug 28, 2014 3:45 pm

I LOVE PUNOGRAPHY

I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

The girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I never met herbivore.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type O.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.

Energizer Bunny arrested: Charged with battery.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

Broken pencils are pointless
:clap :clap :clap :superhappy :party :party :rockon :rockon
"I long, O I long to be holy, conformed to His will and His Word.
I long to be gentle and Christ-like; I long to be just like my Lord."

Mariane Holbrook

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Edy
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby Edy » Fri Aug 29, 2014 12:56 am

Thanks for "the rest of the story," BeachGrandma - I'm relieved to hear the VW fellow had been asking for trouble with his bad attitude. Some folks have a negative way of making a name for themelves, don't they?! 8)

Our pastor loves puns, so we get a taste of them every once in awhile.

These aren't puns, but clever, anyway:


I planted some bird seed. A bird came up.

Now I don't know what to feed it.

I had amnesia once --- or twice

I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what?

Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

If the world were a logical place, men would be the ones who ride horses sidesaddle.

What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

They told me I was gullible and I believed them.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up,
he'll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.

Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

How can there be self-help "groups"?

If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.

Is it me or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?
"Jesus Never Fails!" Love, Edy
The Gospel is such Good News even Christians don't believe it!
The Power of Story
We are the third temple! Acts 7:48, 1 Peter 2:4-5
Essentially Lutheran
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Verna
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby Verna » Fri Aug 29, 2014 8:48 am

Thanks to Mariane and Edy for the smiles! Hugs to you!
Verna

A merry heart doeth good like a medicine...
Proverb 17:22

Facebook author page: Verna Cole Mitchell
http://www.magnificomanuscripts.com/

wheelygirl58
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby wheelygirl58 » Fri Aug 29, 2014 9:24 pm

Both lists made me groan and giggle!! :thankssign :thankssign

ready2go
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby ready2go » Sun Aug 31, 2014 7:01 pm

wheelygirl58 wrote:Both lists made me groan and giggle!! :thankssign :thankssign


Welcome to the southern porch wheelygirl58.

Yes, we try to have some fun here...and some of it is even approved by the FW board management. :lol:

Where are located? Ya don't have to be from the southern regions to belong. If that were true, I would have been chased away long ago. Apparently, MN is south enough to qualify.

Come back soon and tell us about yourself.

Don
John 14:6
Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me."

"My Journey To Jesus"
http://faithwriters.com/article-details.php?id=41225

http://faithwriters.com/member-profile.php?id=18654

"The Israel Connection"
http://theisraelconnection.blogspot.com/

"I have a story to tell...the saving gospel to share...and the fire of the Holy Spirit burning deep within my soul."

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Verna
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby Verna » Mon Sep 01, 2014 9:01 am

Welcome, Wheelygirl, to the porch where we care and pray and provide smiles for each other.
Verna

A merry heart doeth good like a medicine...
Proverb 17:22

Facebook author page: Verna Cole Mitchell
http://www.magnificomanuscripts.com/

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Joanney
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Postby Joanney » Mon Sep 01, 2014 11:37 am

Welcome, Wheelygirl. As Don said, "southern" is a relative term here. I think the official porch definition is that you must live south of the North Pole.

Simon and I survived our week in South Dakota. Simon did not like the fact that I drove the Wildlife Loop of Custer State Park three times. The last time we saw a little more wildlife than the first two times. The antelope seemed to like the heat of the day better than the other animals, so we didn't see much of them except the first trip when we drove it in the afternoon. I did get one really cool picture of bison running up a hill at sunset. The bison are silhouetted in the picture.

We left Lifelight early. The Christian music festival became a mud fest. When we got there on Friday night, they informed us that the campsite was closed. We panicked a bit, not sure where we supposed to sleep for the night. They told us we could carry our stuff in and set up the tent, but no vehicles. Every vehicle that tried to get into the campsite spun its wheels in the mud. Even the SUVs. We had to carry our stuff from the parking lot at the front of the festival grounds through the main stage seating, past the vendors, smaller stages and showers, to the camp ground. Thankfully, a stranger offered to carry the tent for me. One of the sleeping bags that Simon was carrying unrolled and got wet in the mud. At one point, I fell in the mud so my entire right side was covered in mud. An hour later I was still pulling sheets of caked on mud off my shorts. It dried up some on Saturday, but you still needed to watch where you were walking. At one point Saturday night (actually early Sunday morning as "God's Not Dead" got over about 1 AM) I was afraid the wind was going to blow the tent over. The wall came down almost on top of me but straightened back up again. Early Sunday evening, Simon decided he had enough. He wasn't doing well with the volume of the music and he was sick of camping. I told him that by the time we packed up the tent and carried it back to the car it would be at least 10 PM by the time we got home. We had the tent half taken down with everything inside it on the ground in front of the tent when the skies opened up. Downpour rain for about 5-10 minutes. The other campers who had finally gotten their vehicles into the campsite to load up were now stuck in mud again. The trolley wagons pulled by tractors stopped running due the the instant mud paths. Thankfully when we got everything packed up and started walking back, a volunteer in one of the golf carts gave us a ride as close as she could to our car. It was a longer route, but quicker and we didn't have to carry everything in the mud. I am glad we decided to take everything we didn't need back to the car earlier in the day.

Driving home in the rain was tense. There were several times, especially on the two lane highway and in construction zones, where I had a hard time seeing the road. But after driving Needles Highway in the dark, I survived. :roll:

Anyway, that was our adventure this week. Now I have lots of wet clothes to wash. Plus some of Greg's textbooks came in the mail while we were gone so I need to run them up to him. Plus a few other things that he forgot or realized he needed.
ImageImage

"We are not sinners because we sin, we sin because we are sinners."

You have wearied the LORD with your words.
“How have we wearied him?” you ask.
By saying, “All who do evil are good in the eyes of the LORD, and he is pleased with them” or “Where is the God of justice?”

Malachi 2:17

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Joanney
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby Joanney » Mon Sep 01, 2014 11:53 am

This is my favorite picture from the trip


Image
ImageImage

"We are not sinners because we sin, we sin because we are sinners."

You have wearied the LORD with your words.
“How have we wearied him?” you ask.
By saying, “All who do evil are good in the eyes of the LORD, and he is pleased with them” or “Where is the God of justice?”

Malachi 2:17

ready2go
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby ready2go » Mon Sep 01, 2014 1:38 pm

Wow, Joanney! Your trip to the Black Hills sounds like it was a miserable experience. I've been there many times, but never had bad weather. However, one of those times was a memorable trip.

We drove west through ND and MT, then south into Yellowstone and the Tetons. After that we headed east through WY and on to the Black Hills. We had reservations for two nights in Rapid City.

That was a big mistake!

Very soon after entering the Black Hills we realized that bikers from all over the country had come to gather for the annual Sturgis Biker Rally. We arrived there in the middle of their week-long party. There were hundreds and hundreds of noisy motorcycles everywhere we went. Sturgis was so clogged with bikes that we couldn't even drive through town. They were all over the place.

I was tempted to ram a bunch of them to clear the street for car traffic. :lol:

Even as we left the Black Hills, there were many motorcycles traveling east-bound right beside us on the highway for most of the way across the state.

Don
John 14:6
Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me."

"My Journey To Jesus"
http://faithwriters.com/article-details.php?id=41225

http://faithwriters.com/member-profile.php?id=18654

"The Israel Connection"
http://theisraelconnection.blogspot.com/

"I have a story to tell...the saving gospel to share...and the fire of the Holy Spirit burning deep within my soul."

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Edy
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby Edy » Mon Sep 01, 2014 9:24 pm

We're just back home from our holiday. We had a glorious time (with my side of the family, for a change 8) ). This morning we took time for a grand sharing of healing Scriptures and stories of the Lord's working in the lives of family and friends, then for anointing with oil and prayer. One brother pointed out that in the verse "Rejoice in the Lord, always...." we can focus on the "rejoicing" and overlook the importance of "in the Lord, always!" Isn't that worth pondering!

wheelygirl58 wrote:Both lists made me groan and giggle!! :thankssign :thankssign

Welcome, wheelygirl58!

I'm glad you found the Porch light on, and somebody home to invite you inside! Now, I have to wonder about your name. You wouldn't happen to be one of those bikers that Don encountered, by any chance, are you? :lol:
"Jesus Never Fails!" Love, Edy
The Gospel is such Good News even Christians don't believe it!
The Power of Story
We are the third temple! Acts 7:48, 1 Peter 2:4-5
Essentially Lutheran
My StoriesMy Blog:The Prairie Nightingale

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Joanney
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby Joanney » Mon Sep 01, 2014 10:45 pm

Don, if there were only "hundreds and hundreds" of motorcycles at Sturgis, it must have been a while ago. Nowadays, there are thousands and thousands of motorcycles at Sturgis. Everywhere we went had clearance on Sturgis appeal. As one Custer State Park ranger told a motorcyclist when we were there, a lot of them go only the week before or the week after. Others stay for two weeks. My niece used to live in Sturgis and rent out camp spots in her yard.

Actually, I really enjoyed my vacation. I love the Black Hills. Simon thinks I am obsessed with the bison. He may not have liked looking for animals that didn't want to be seen, but he was giddy with awe at the beauty when we drove the Needles Highway or Old Mountain Road. He literally giggled at how beautiful it is. And he said some very poetic things to describe the Hills. My only suggestion is not to drive Needles Highway at night. We left my sister's house in Rapid City at 9:30 and the GPS took us back to our campsite via the Needles Highway. There was not a single car on the entire road except us. Each time I went through one of the single lane tunnels, I had to turn my headlights in each direction to see what way the road went so I didn't drive off the cliff. The saleman at a bike shop in Keystone told me he thought driving it at night was probably worse than on a motorcycle and one gal lost her life taking one of the curves too fast this summer.

I wish that I was as wonderful as my dog thinks I am. Especially after having been gone for a week. She thinks I walk on water just because I returned home.
ImageImage

"We are not sinners because we sin, we sin because we are sinners."

You have wearied the LORD with your words.
“How have we wearied him?” you ask.
By saying, “All who do evil are good in the eyes of the LORD, and he is pleased with them” or “Where is the God of justice?”

Malachi 2:17

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Verna
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby Verna » Tue Sep 02, 2014 7:58 am

Joanney, you are a true adventurer--to find joy in a trip that so many of us would not. I do remember our trip on the Needles Highway. Indeed, that is a beautiful place. We took a small camper to the beach when our children were young--and that satisfied any longing I'd ever had to camp. I like your picture.

Edy, I'm glad for your healing time with your family and your brother's words of wisdom.
Verna

A merry heart doeth good like a medicine...
Proverb 17:22

Facebook author page: Verna Cole Mitchell
http://www.magnificomanuscripts.com/

ready2go
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby ready2go » Tue Sep 02, 2014 8:47 am

Joanney wrote:Don, if there were only "hundreds and hundreds" of motorcycles at Sturgis, it must have been a while ago. Nowadays, there are thousands and thousands of motorcycles at Sturgis.


The year of my encounter with Sturgis motorcycles was 1976. Yep, that was a while ago. Oh, wait! It's only been 38 years!

Ever since then I have avoided being there when the bikers were in town.

Don
John 14:6
Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me."

"My Journey To Jesus"
http://faithwriters.com/article-details.php?id=41225

http://faithwriters.com/member-profile.php?id=18654

"The Israel Connection"
http://theisraelconnection.blogspot.com/

"I have a story to tell...the saving gospel to share...and the fire of the Holy Spirit burning deep within my soul."

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BeachGrandma
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby BeachGrandma » Wed Sep 03, 2014 10:41 am

That sounds like Bike Week at Myrtle Beach. You don't want to make reservations anywhere near MB during that time in April/May. It takes 30 minutes to drive one block from one stoplight to the next. The noise is beyond deafening. You'd swear every single motorcycle in the world was gathered in one place for that week.

Joanney, I love reading about your trips. You're such a good mom to your boys and there's nothing you won't do with them and for them. God bless your sweet, big ole heart!! I love you to pieces.

It's been so hot here that I haven't even ventured outside for days and days. I get very lightheaded in the heat and high humidity so I thank God over and over for the person who invented A/C.
Our grandson, Jackson, begged for the ice-bucket challenge yesterday after his run after school. So we gave it to him, big time. What a great sport he is.


If you think of it, please pray for Tim. He's desperate for a good job. We love having him and the 2 boys living with us these 3 years but he's still not employed and the 2 churches who wanted to hire him as their audio/visual engineer have either given the job to one of their members or have withdrawn the position because they're losing members right and left to a mega church which is new in this area.

Take care, y'all.
"I long, O I long to be holy, conformed to His will and His Word.
I long to be gentle and Christ-like; I long to be just like my Lord."

Mariane Holbrook

ready2go
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Re: Southern Porch Extension

Postby ready2go » Thu Sep 04, 2014 8:53 am

I am holding tickets in my hot little hands for tomorrow's opening night performance of "Hello Dolly" at the Chanhassen Dinner Theatre. The show will run for about 6 weeks, but they sold out quickly.

(Note: It's likely only Minnesotans would know of that famous theatre)

Although it is located less than 10 minutes from my house, I haven't seen a performance at the theatre for over 10 years. In the past I would go there a couple times a year, and have enjoyed many presentations of the well-known Broadway musicals, plus Christmas shows.

Looking forward to tomorrow night!

Don
John 14:6
Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me."

"My Journey To Jesus"
http://faithwriters.com/article-details.php?id=41225

http://faithwriters.com/member-profile.php?id=18654

"The Israel Connection"
http://theisraelconnection.blogspot.com/

"I have a story to tell...the saving gospel to share...and the fire of the Holy Spirit burning deep within my soul."

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