One more . . .
Did I mention I think I am funny? Or, at the least, silly. And, sometimes it helps to laugh at ourselves, and be silly.
A Letter to Pastor and his Homies
“Sir,” the woman said, “you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water? ~John 4:11
Hi Pastor, I attend your church. I really like the fact that it is a mere ten minutes from my home, which saves ME gas and time. The cafe is also nice, although the coffee is a bit bitter for MY tastes. Will you see about changing that, I highly recommend "Starbucks" blend. Their coffee is fantastic, even if a little pricey. You can afford that on your salary, can't you?
Well, enough of the chit chat, I must move on to the real "bad news". I don't find my relationship with God and others very fulfilling anymore and I have concluded the fault lies with you and your homies. As such, I have been seriously considering leaving your church. I'm blushing as I am saying this, seriously pastor, but you gotta know this stuff if YOU are to improve. Your sermons lately have been less than appealing, to put it mildly. In fact, I found myself snoozing through last Sunday's Service. Oh sure, a couple people shouted and seemed to enjoy it (I even noticed one lady with tears in her eyes) but didn't you notice the rest of us...borrrrrrrred.
I don't feel fulfilled in my relationship with God. Why aren't YOU doing more about that?
At one time things were different. It was really nice, like finding a new guy I really liked. It was all new and exciting, had the warm fuzzies and all, but now I find all that has fizzled out. In all honesty, now I get more out of sitting in front of the tube. Those make believe characters seem more real to me. I wish your services did more for me than that. Why don't you spice it up some?
Anywayz, I've been considering YOUR dilemma and have come up with a few pointers for you...ok, maybe more than a few, but who's counting. So, I thought I'd give you an opportunity to hear ME out and change YOUR ways to meet OUR needs.
I don't have many friends at church and blame that on the structuring of your services. Seriously pastor, how are we supposed to get to know each other and mingle if you don't change things around? Why don't you create more events that help us to do just that? You know, like that picnic we had last month. You do have time for more of that, don't you?
By the way, loved meeting your children there. I even remembered their names: Brian, Keith, Stacy, Rebecca, Isaiah, Tommy, Jimmy...The last two seemed a handful...as they say, boys will be boys.
Speaking of children, at church those kids fussing in the background get on my last nerve. Come on, even though you seem absorbed in your sermon you can't tell me you haven't noticed. Why don't you have more people that can help them? For instance, last month there sat by me a mother who seemed overburdened with looking out for her young toddler...another pistol. I tell you it was distracting...to say the least. He even pulled on my hair...and it hurt. If I wanted to be abused by others I could have stayed home for that. Why didn't any of your homies help that poor woman?
The least you could do is set up a place for childcare during service. Working with children is not my cup of tea but I bet you would get plenty of others volunteering for the job. You can fund that, can't you? I've been faithfully doing my part. My spare change goes in the collection plate every week.
And speaking of "cup of tea". I have wonderful gifts and talents that are laying dormant because your church doesn't have anything available as an outlet for me there. Why is that? I need to express myself with the God given gifts and talents that I have...isn't church the place to do just that? Seems a bit selfish of you not to consider these things...
Anyway, the list goes on, yet these are my main issues with your church. I hope in some way this letter serves to enlighten YOU as to the needs of some of us in your congregation. So pastor, what are YOU going to do about that?
From a dissatisfied member of your church...looking to help you out.
God bless you and your homies.
People may be right in their own eyes, but the Lord looks upon the heart - Proverbs