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I'd love some feedback! This is called In the Quiet Hour

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sonyaluvsjesus
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I'd love some feedback! This is called In the Quiet Hour

Postby sonyaluvsjesus » Wed Feb 27, 2013 9:58 pm

I feel you in the quiet hour
With only the sound of the ticking clock for company
All else is silent
The TV that talks and talks and talks
The dishwasher and the dryer
The sound of cabinet doors, opening and closing
Chairs scraping
Feet tapping
Birds singing
Cars going by
All turned off and turned in for the night.
The lights are low and I sit in bed with my book,
My husband asleep beside me
There You are
You speak to me in the stillness
A gentle whisper
A wayward thought revealing another truth or insight
To my hungry, and sometimes weary soul.
I sit alone in the silence
You come and I know
That I am never alone
And I've never been so loved
And I never want to leave
The safety
The comfort
The peace
Of Your arms.

:thankssign

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Shann
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Location: Western NY super rural

Re: I'd love some feedback! This is called In the Quiet Hou

Postby Shann » Wed Feb 27, 2013 10:33 pm

I think this is beautiful. The tempo change at the end really packs your message home. I can't think of any red ink other than maybe break it into stanzas to give the reader that all important white space. I'm tone deaf so I have a hard time hearing if the rhythm and the stressed/unstressed pattern is there, but I know your words touched me. I think this would be wonderful for my church newsletter. I often look for filler, and though I can't pay you for it, i would of course credit you with a byline and tell people where they could find more of your work. If you're interested, send me a PM with your information. This is a piece that needs to be shared. :D
Shann

Shann's Profile

Sometimes God calms the storm; Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child

DonnaEdgar
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Re: I'd love some feedback! This is called In the Quiet Hou

Postby DonnaEdgar » Sat Mar 30, 2013 7:57 am

Shann,
Yes, yes, yes!! That is how our God speaks to our hearts. Not only is it a good piece, it is pure and straightly put; from the heart-touched whisper to the page you wrote it on. Pure!
I loved it. :clap Donna

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tomoral
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Re: I'd love some feedback! This is called In the Quiet Hou

Postby tomoral » Sat Mar 30, 2013 8:55 am

Oh how I love those quiet hours...mine mostly come in the early morning.

This is lovely and so uplifting. Great Job. :clap
God Bless the beasts and the children
Give them shelter from the storms.
Children are our tomorrow
Keep them daily from the sorrow
Of the beasts in life

http://www.faithwriters.com/websites/my ... p?id=57394

Beth28
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Re: I'd love some feedback! This is called In the Quiet Hou

Postby Beth28 » Tue Apr 16, 2013 10:41 pm

Hi Sonya (I think that's your name if I am reading your username correctly)
I really like your poetry and I think it makes your readers feel relaxed and content.
Blessings,
Beth


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