I am bad on critiques I think
I love a lot of stuff! Hey, God made me an encourager, what can I say? Anyway, I AM a poet also and have a big pet peeve about the flow of a poem - the right number of syllables so it sounds right, so I am HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY at this one! It flows so beautifully.
Of course you know the reason that it is important, I am sure. You are reading along, caught up in the flow, the message being conveyed beautifully and then - CLUNK! - a line with not enough or too many syllables! It breaks the flow and the mood in lost sooo easy. Anyway, I loved it and I am gonna (in my spare time - Ha!) read some more of you. Good luck with this piece and all the rest!