Thanks guys for responding, but can I ask a favor. The conversation started on the other thread that I failed to leave a link to (I'm sorry, that was an oversight). but there are five other members involved in this conversation so I wonder if you would re-post your replies in that thread (to save the conversation becoming disjointed). here's the link: viewtopic.php?f=1&t=37868
I wouldn't ask you to do this except I think this conversation is going to go a lot further.
I"m confused about something here. As I read your replies, Deb and Joanne; I get the impression that we are NOT to leave constructive reviews without the writers permission. That needs a LOT of conversation. And, Bea, are you giving us permission to leave constructive comments or are you also agreeing with Deb and Joanne.
I don't want to start an argument, but I feel a healthy conversation on this is very important. I honestly believe that this is counter productive to the site, encourages people to remain weak and defeats the entire purpose of the Challenge if all we can do is leave sugar and not add the spice.
How would a writer cope in the real world of writers (and this site is suppossed to be about EXACTLY that) if they cannot accept a loving comment from a Christian brother or sister? And how do I help my brothers or sisters to grow as a writer if I just continue to stroke, even worse to feed, this disfunction?
To me, I see it like inviting people to enter an exam room where I will give them a little test but never give them honest feedback on how they went. Another ananolgy is to promise to help someone to reach for the stars but only ever applaud without telling them what they could have done to get higher.
Please, I'm not trying to be offensive, but if you tell me I need to do this, then I must respond with honesty and tell you why I think it is wrong. Like I said, I think this needs conversation.
I honestly believe that far more people get upset over the sugary sweetness of it all than those who get upset over constructive, loving correction. Yes, some folk leave because they can't handle being told their name isn't Phillip Yancy, but this great author actually encourages writers to seek critiques which are critical, nit picking and hard to accept; by the way, he also advises want-to-be-writers to avoid asking family and friends for critiques because they will only be too nice and unhelpful.
I think more people leave for the other side.
Please, let's take this over to the other thread so that the others can join in. I'll post this over there.